Bath at sleepover involving another parent

[Anonymous]

I have debated whether to post this but im curious how you would feel or react to a situation that occurred with my 8 year old son who is in 3rd grade.

He was at a sleepover with another boy from his school who he has been friends with for a couple years, we have become friends with the parents as well. The boys were playing outside and got muddy and the mom had them take off there cloths outside and run take a bath, together. She then came into the bathroom and washed both her son and then my son herself by hand head to toe as my son explained. Now my son did say they had mud from head to toe including their hair. So in a way I understand why she did it. But I think I would have called her first if the situation had been reversed and it happened at my house.

So im curious on a few things.

1. Do your kids take baths at sleepovers?
2. Has another parent helped, and if so did they ask first?
3. Should I say something?

[Anonymous]

An 8-year old should be old enough to shower by themselves. I would not bathe someone else’s kids of any age without express permission from their parents and only if the child didn’t feel awkward about it.

[Anonymous]

I would have hosed them down outside with their clothes on and then sent them each in for separate showers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An 8-year old should be old enough to shower by themselves. I would not bathe someone else’s kids of any age without express permission from their parents and only if the child didn’t feel awkward about it.

I agree and he does at home the vast majority of the time.

[Anonymous]

No way that an 8yo isn’t just jumping in the shower themselves.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even think two 8 yr old boys could fit in a tub together. That alone is weird.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? Nothing happened. Your kid took a bath with a friend and mom helped make sure all the mud was off.

[Anonymous]

I could see her going in to help them wash their hair if they were taking baths, but this does seem a bit much.

If I had been in that situation, I think I would have hosed them down outside until I was satisfied with the mud removal.

Then I would have told them to take off their wet clothes, and drop it off in the washer and walk upstairs to the shower just in their underwear. I check in on my 8 year old while he’s in the shower (did you wash your face? Your armpits?etc) but I don’t think I would do so with another kid.

Still, I don’t think this is a big deal. It was just an awkward judgment call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have hosed them down outside with their clothes on and then sent them each in for separate showers.

This. WTH is wrong with that lady. There is also zero chance my 8 year old would be ok with this and if he’s not ok with it then it’s SA.

[Anonymous]

I think some reactions are overblown, but this mom wasn’t using good judgement. I wouldn’t have been giving a kid other than my own a bath at that age without express consent from parents! My kids did share a tub with same sex cousins, but that stopped at 6 or younger!

[Anonymous]

If this is real, it's nbd. People still looking to be offended. It's a mom. Maybe she's still really hands-on with her own kid and didn't realize most other kids are independent.

It's a good idea to just communicate a lot. I always did that with new kids staying over (and texting their parents!). Can Jaxon do this himself? He said he can have grapes? Etc. on and on.

But this is really nbd.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd. Why on earth couldn’t she send them to take showers individually?.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd. Not call the police odd, but definitely not more sleepovers at that house odd.
Is your son upset or is he more just like “that was weird but whatever.” If he’s not upset I think I would not make a big deal about it in front of him because then he may feel shamed. But it is probably worth reiterating that when it comes to his body, he doesn’t have to do what an adult tells him and he can always calll you if he’s uncomfortable.

This is also making me ask at what age I would bathe someone else’s kid. I think maybe 3-4? But even then I don’t think I’d put them in a bath together without calling the parent and asking.

[Anonymous]

OP I appreciate the replies and im glad to see several see it as NBD. I don't really see it as a BD either just think I would have called first.

For those that say no way my kid would have agreed to it. My son is a rule follower and doesn't question when another adult tells him to do something. Me..he always questions me...but not others. Lol

He didn't seem to be bothered by it and probably wouldn't have said anything but when I told him to go take a bath he said he did last night. He usually does every other night unless needed. Which is when I questioned it and he filled me in.

[Anonymous]

This never happened. Come on.