Wedding culture - vent

[Anonymous]

I’m in a wedding in a few weeks and am shocked at how time consuming this has become. And how do people afford to be in multiple? The one I’m in soon I’ve already spend $500 on the dress and alterations and just got hit with another bill for a chef that’s $150 per person. Totally insane and this isn’t even in a HCOL area - whole wedding is in northeastern North Carolina.

Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

It was more the norm in my 20’s and I hated it. In grad school and was required to drop 1000’s on dress, gifts, travel, shower, Bach party etc. I swore to never do that to my friends and did not have bridesmaids and asked for no gifts at our party- just their presence was enough. My friends who got married mid 30’s and older were much more chill.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean a chef? Bachelorette party chef?

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a wedding in a few weeks and am shocked at how time consuming this has become. And how do people afford to be in multiple? The one I’m in soon I’ve already spend $500 on the dress and alterations and just got hit with another bill for a chef that’s $150 per person. Totally insane and this isn’t even in a HCOL area - whole wedding is in northeastern North Carolina.

Is this normal?

Recycle an old dress. This chef payment thing is odd but young people aren't loaded so no harm. If someone doesn't want to pay, they don't need to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Is this normal?

Yes. Everything is massively up-charged for weddings. Everything. And they keep inventing new $hit to separate you from your money.

Decline the invites or hemorrhage money.

[Anonymous]

Weddings are out of control. I'm of South Asian origin, have 3 weddings to attend this summer. Its going to be expensive.

Families are also spending a lot. South Asian ones are splitting the expenses but one is marrying a white woman and her family isn't contributing so he and his family are paying for everything. His wife started her first job last year after grad school and has huge student debt so can't contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean a chef? Bachelorette party chef?

+1. Are you the mother of the bride? Why are you paying for a chef?

[Anonymous]

You can say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are out of control. I'm of South Asian origin, have 3 weddings to attend this summer. Its going to be expensive.

Families are also spending a lot. South Asian ones are splitting the expenses but one is marrying a white woman and her family isn't contributing so he and his family are paying for everything. His wife started her first job last year after grad school and has huge student debt so can't contribute.

Her family probably doesn't need or want the big lavish wedding.

[Anonymous]

That is a lot. I have not been to too many weddings, baby-showers, bachelorette or birthday parties. I also don't celebrate holidays.
Life is so much easier this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are out of control. I'm of South Asian origin, have 3 weddings to attend this summer. Its going to be expensive.

Families are also spending a lot. South Asian ones are splitting the expenses but one is marrying a white woman and her family isn't contributing so he and his family are paying for everything. His wife started her first job last year after grad school and has huge student debt so can't contribute.

Her family probably doesn't need or want the big lavish wedding.

LOL. Please. Everyone wants the big lavish wedding paid by the Indian ILs.

[Anonymous]

Being a member of the bridal party is very expensive these days. I blame Pinterest for all the add ons.

[Anonymous]

My DD has decided to not say "yes" to being a bridesmaid for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are out of control. I'm of South Asian origin, have 3 weddings to attend this summer. Its going to be expensive.

Families are also spending a lot. South Asian ones are splitting the expenses but one is marrying a white woman and her family isn't contributing so he and his family are paying for everything. His wife started her first job last year after grad school and has huge student debt so can't contribute.

Her family probably doesn't need or want the big lavish wedding.

LOL. Please. Everyone wants the big lavish wedding paid by the Indian ILs.

Speak for yourself.