Do you have an age cut off on supporting adult kids?

[Anonymous]

I have two in college, and it's obviously the most they have ever cost us. Tuition/ dorm we pay for with 529, but there is car insurance, healthcare, huge amounts of food they consume when at home which is a large part of the year given college schedule. They do work but so far are only using their money for their own "fun spending" and saving. At what point do you stop supporting kids financially? Did you stop cold turkey after college? Or did you phase things out so they progressively became independent? I read that 64% of parents support their Gen Z kid but that is not such a helpful stat given the age range of gen Z including college kids.

[Anonymous]

Start making them pay for their own car insurance

[Anonymous]

Our children are financially on their own at ages 24 and 26, other than cell phone and car insurance. Those are more for convenience rather than because we need or want them to pay for those things.

[Anonymous]

Our DS is in graduate school for a PhD so most of his expenses are covered by his program and an NSF fellowship. He is still on our phone plan and we pay for his flights back home. Once he gets his PhD and first job, we will probably continue with those items and help with a down payment and wedding.

[Anonymous]

well, for one, I don't buy my kids cars nor car insurance. If they want to buy a car, they will have to buy a car once they have a job and pay for their own insurance.

if they want to drive my car, they need to pay me for the insurance. one does, one doesn't and gets around by driving or public transport only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two in college, and it's obviously the most they have ever cost us. Tuition/ dorm we pay for with 529, but there is car insurance, healthcare, huge amounts of food they consume when at home which is a large part of the year given college schedule. They do work but so far are only using their money for their own "fun spending" and saving. At what point do you stop supporting kids financially? Did you stop cold turkey after college? Or did you phase things out so they progressively became independent? I read that 64% of parents support their Gen Z kid but that is not such a helpful stat given the age range of gen Z including college kids.

When they finish college and get set up, if you cannot afford to help them anymore.

We help our kids after college for extras, because they live within their means but we want them to save more for retirement and a future downpayment, and because they will get millions eventually so it's best to gift it earlier to impact their lives. However, that only happens if they are working and leading a meaning full life (ie. they have a job, they live within their budget for that job, etc basically they need to be responsible and have goals in life and not just spend spend spend)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two in college, and it's obviously the most they have ever cost us. Tuition/ dorm we pay for with 529, but there is car insurance, healthcare, huge amounts of food they consume when at home which is a large part of the year given college schedule. They do work but so far are only using their money for their own "fun spending" and saving. At what point do you stop supporting kids financially? Did you stop cold turkey after college? Or did you phase things out so they progressively became independent? I read that 64% of parents support their Gen Z kid but that is not such a helpful stat given the age range of gen Z including college kids.

When they finish college and get set up, if you cannot afford to help them anymore.

We help our kids after college for extras, because they live within their means but we want them to save more for retirement and a future downpayment, and because they will get millions eventually so it's best to gift it earlier to impact their lives. However, that only happens if they are working and leading a meaning full life (ie. they have a job, they live within their budget for that job, etc basically they need to be responsible and have goals in life and not just spend spend spend)

This is our philosophy, too.

[Anonymous]

Support ends more or less after college. I wouldnt mind them living at home while they find a career but I would expect them to pick up some form of job in the interim to cover things like gas and their car insurance.

[Anonymous]

Expect to do for ours the same my parents did by maxing out the annual gift amount. Passes on cash and avoids tax issues later when we pass. And will help with major expenses like house purchase or wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two in college, and it's obviously the most they have ever cost us. Tuition/ dorm we pay for with 529, but there is car insurance, healthcare, huge amounts of food they consume when at home which is a large part of the year given college schedule. They do work but so far are only using their money for their own "fun spending" and saving. At what point do you stop supporting kids financially? Did you stop cold turkey after college? Or did you phase things out so they progressively became independent? I read that 64% of parents support their Gen Z kid but that is not such a helpful stat given the age range of gen Z including college kids.

When they finish college and get set up, if you cannot afford to help them anymore.

We help our kids after college for extras, because they live within their means but we want them to save more for retirement and a future downpayment, and because they will get millions eventually so it's best to gift it earlier to impact their lives. However, that only happens if they are working and leading a meaning full life (ie. they have a job, they live within their budget for that job, etc basically they need to be responsible and have goals in life and not just spend spend spend)

This is the part I struggle with. We are fine and stable financially but not DCUM wealthy. We had zero help ourselves after 18 so everything we have is just through saving and hard work, which also has meant a lot of sacrificing and not that much life enjoyment just for ourselves. If we spend thousands a month supporting dcs, we cannot also spend every month for fun things like going out to eat or travel. And at some point, maybe I am feeling selfish but I would like to do these things more.

[Anonymous]

No cutoff.

[Anonymous]

No, but after college when they have jobs seems appropriate.

[Anonymous]

No cutoff as long as adult child is being productive. Our youngest (of 4) still lives at home at 28, but she works full-time and is about to earn her master's degree. She paid for her degree, and she covers car insurance, gas, clothing, incidentals, etc. I make dinners every night, and she's welcome to join us. Most nights she'll eat with us, but sometimes she orders out on her own dime. We don't charge her rent or utilities. Occasionally she contributes to groceries. She also takes care of the dog when DH and I travel (we're both retired).

[Anonymous]

My one kid is 22, earns like $300k, has $250k of his own money saved and options in a company worth around $5MM (but of course the company needs to get sold or somehow allow employees to sell in a private round).

We still are gifting some $$$s for estate planning.

I don't feel like I am supporting him at all.

[Anonymous]

Both kids are employed and independent, and have been since they graduated from college. But that doesn’t mean we don’t help out - we pay for airfares to come home, family trips (they still want to go), generous gifts including monetary gifts, etc. One lived at home for 2 years post college while working in DC.

Neither has bought a house yet but we have told them we will help with the down payment. We also saved and scrimped but now are pretty comfortable so it’s not a financial sacrifice.