A few years ago, there was a woman here who 'tricked' her xH into giving her full custody....

[Anonymous]

I remember a few years back, reading a comment here from a woman who basically tricked her xH into giving her full custody by being super accommodating to him.

Things like, if he didn't want the kids for a weekend or he wanted to take a trip or whatever, she would cheerfully agree "yea! You deserve a break, don't worry about it. I'll take the kids, and why don't you take next week off from them, too?" And over the course of a couple years ended up getting full custody of the kids.

Whoever you were, are you still around? I'm going through this with my xH and wanted more advice.

[Anonymous]

For me it was what the kids wanted, they wanted to be with me and before too long that's what happened.

[Anonymous]

Tricked, as in, she was able to document that he regularly relinquished his custody time, and therefore she was entitled to full custody because he was not interested in parenting? Or just persuaded her husband to just formalize the fact that he hardly ever had the kids?

[Anonymous]

Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

[Anonymous]

That’s not tricking anyone. It’s just being smart about not being confrontational and the custody ended up falling where it naturally should based on each parents’ actual interest in parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

[Anonymous]

Many many people have posted here about exchanging financial compromises for more custody, both formally and informally.

[Anonymous]

I’m not seeing the tricking.

[Anonymous]

That was likely a troll and you probably shouldn't take custody advice from DCUM there was someone here advocating for kidnapping the kids to another country.

If your soon to be ex is safe for the kids and they enjoy being around him you should be encouraging time together if you actually love your kids.

Doing anything else is selfishness on your part..

And both of you should be as flexible as possible with scheduling again for the sake of the kids.

And yes you should try to get along with this new partner and not try to dictate when she meets the kids as long as she's good to them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

If you want to be the sole parent, be it. He shouldn’t be an atm while you cut him out out of the kids lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

If you want to be the sole parent, be it. He shouldn’t be an atm while you cut him out out of the kids lives.

Of course he should. He is 50% responsible for creating this human being. No take backs.

No courts these days will not give fathers (or mothers) 50% joint custody unless they are horrifically abusive/neglectful; or he/she chooses to abdicate custody. If a parent ends up with sole custody, it is was a mutually agreed upon decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

If you want to be the sole parent, be it. He shouldn’t be an atm while you cut him out out of the kids lives.

Of course he should. He is 50% responsible for creating this human being. No take backs.

No courts these days will not give fathers (or mothers) 50% joint custody unless they are horrifically abusive/neglectful; or he/she chooses to abdicate custody. If a parent ends up with sole custody, it is was a mutually agreed upon decision.

It depends on the state if dads got 50-50. Often not as it impacts child support. See on here how many women know to claim abuse or neglect even if there was non to push dad or mom out as it goes both ways. People here are proud that they are the only parent but then demand child support and tons of extras plus college for kids that the parent cannot see or talk to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

If you want to be the sole parent, be it. He shouldn’t be an atm while you cut him out out of the kids lives.

Of course he should. He is 50% responsible for creating this human being. No take backs.

No courts these days will not give fathers (or mothers) 50% joint custody unless they are horrifically abusive/neglectful; or he/she chooses to abdicate custody. If a parent ends up with sole custody, it is was a mutually agreed upon decision.

The discussion is about her having full custody and him having no or low contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

MRA alert.

If you want to be the sole parent, be it. He shouldn’t be an atm while you cut him out out of the kids lives.

Of course he should. He is 50% responsible for creating this human being. No take backs.

No courts these days will not give fathers (or mothers) 50% joint custody unless they are horrifically abusive/neglectful; or he/she chooses to abdicate custody. If a parent ends up with sole custody, it is was a mutually agreed upon decision.

The discussion is about her having full custody and him having no or low contact.

Well nobody knows what the arrangement actually was …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be honest. Don't play games and hurt your kids. Waive child support or him paying for anything and tell him and them they can never see each other again. You will deeply hurt your kids but who cares as long as your wants are met.

Huh?

He kept opting out. Before long it was driven by him- too much work again, new work travel, long weekend trips with the new girlfriend.
No time for the pesky kids, just one bit major ski trip a year where he paid a guide to go around with his teens. And of course would buy them anything they asked for plus huge cash cards.