How nice or sincere are parents in elite private schools?

[Anonymous]

On the surface, they seem very nice and concerned about social justice and inclusion, but reading the posts here, some also come across as more cutthroat, caring mainly about their kids’ experience and their chances of getting into an Ivy League school. Which is the reality and which is the fiction?

[Anonymous]

There's no guarantee that people on a website are a representative sample of a school's parent population.

It's likely that the people on here are different in a variety of ways.

[Anonymous]

Both are reality and both are fiction. You never know on an anonymous board who is who they say they are and who are people for whom stirring up anonymous message boards is a fun pastime.

[Anonymous]

Suppose you are right beside the elite in terms of income, professional success, community achievements, looks, athletic ability, assets, awards, etc.

Why should they give you time of day?

[Anonymous]

It depends. Some are lovely, some are qs$$holes. Total mix.

[Anonymous]

Private school parents are not a monolith.

[Anonymous]

Same as public school parents. Some are great, and some are a-holes. Some are just not your cup of tea and you aren't their's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same as public school parents. Some are great, and some are a-holes. Some are just not your cup of tea and you aren't their's.

Yeah, but some of these schools have a higher percentage of a-holes

[Anonymous]

Some are lovely. Some are insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Reading the comments in DCUM I feel that there is some schizophrenic behavior going on. Meaning that parents theoretically want inclusion, when in fact they want a cozy school with rich parents to keep it well funded. That might explain the nasty posts that appear on a daily basis here demeaning the parents from public schools, foreigners, or middle class families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading the comments in DCUM I feel that there is some schizophrenic behavior going on. Meaning that parents theoretically want inclusion, when in fact they want a cozy school with rich parents to keep it well funded. That might explain the nasty posts that appear on a daily basis here demeaning the parents from public schools, foreigners, or middle class families.

This is correct. If these people say they want inclusion, it’s a specific kind of inclusion that makes them feel comfortable- a certain kind of “good” black or brown kid. They do not want their children going to school with the “out of boundary” kids who are not white and come from “bad” neighborhoods. This becomes especially apparent as you get closer to high school and see threads like “panic about MacArthur!!” And “I’m going to move if my kid doesn’t get into _____.” I would just like people to be honest with themselves about it.

Are people nice and outwardly seemingly accepting? Sure. Is that the actual reality when you peel back the layers? No.

[Anonymous]

they're rich and don't like you

[Anonymous]

On the scale of niceness and sincereness (0-10), parents at elite private schools are a 6.7.

(OP asks a stupid question and we can give her a stupid answer.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading the comments in DCUM I feel that there is some schizophrenic behavior going on. Meaning that parents theoretically want inclusion, when in fact they want a cozy school with rich parents to keep it well funded. That might explain the nasty posts that appear on a daily basis here demeaning the parents from public schools, foreigners, or middle class families.

I don’t look to make friends with the other parents at my kids school. The school community is more for the kids. However, I extend curtesy to everyone and am respectful to everyone.
My son plays sports so I have been around parents at most of the schools that are talked about on DCUM. The parents at some of these schools are arrogant and disrespectful. To the point where I think about bringing my fists out of retirement.

[Anonymous]

yep, nailed it .

Anonymous wrote:Reading the comments in DCUM I feel that there is some schizophrenic behavior going on. Meaning that parents theoretically want inclusion, when in fact they want a cozy school with rich parents to keep it well funded. That might explain the nasty posts that appear on a daily basis here demeaning the parents from public schools, foreigners, or middle class families.