In a marriage, how many years do you expect to be sexually active?

[Anonymous]

Can you comprehend that you will feel differently at 65, 75, 85 than you did at 20, 30 or 40?

Marriages can last 60 years or more. Do you understand that health issues can crop up along the way?

I wish I had realized better that my drive would bounce back quite a bit post menopause, but hormones are a true driver of sex and once those hormones drop, so does desire. And atrophy is a real issue for many women.

But also many men start to have a lot of issues in their 50s. Weight and medications cause ED difficulty, and knees and hips start to break down.

It's not as easy to "just do it" to appease a partner.

Sex is the icing on the cake in a relationship. It's not the main thing.

--- Signed married woman for 45 years

[Anonymous]

I’m not attracted to people over 50 maybe 55 if really well kept. So yeah right up until I have to see a man that old. 😖

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not attracted to people over 50 maybe 55 if really well kept. So yeah right up until I have to see a man that old. 😖

Wow, little girl, life has some lessons to teach you.

[Anonymous]

DH and I married when we were in our late 50s. Both of us were divorced with no kids in the home when we met. We have an active sex life (at least 3X/week) and that is with each of us having experienced some big health events already. We both use meds (HRT and Viagra). If cancer, weight gain, menopause, and cardiac problems haven't stopped us by now, no reason to expect that anything else will anytime soon. We each experienced dead bedroom marriages and neither one of us has any intention of returning to that sort of cold and distant marriage ever again. You should read the NYT article that came out this week about the older couple that embrace their sexuality together, even if that means expanding their understanding about what counts as sex. Hint: there's more to sex than PIV!

[Anonymous]

Until death.

[Anonymous]

All. Use it or lose it. Wish DH felt the same way. I have no intention of letting that part of myself go. It’s always been important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I married when we were in our late 50s. Both of us were divorced with no kids in the home when we met. We have an active sex life (at least 3X/week) and that is with each of us having experienced some big health events already. We both use meds (HRT and Viagra). If cancer, weight gain, menopause, and cardiac problems haven't stopped us by now, no reason to expect that anything else will anytime soon. We each experienced dead bedroom marriages and neither one of us has any intention of returning to that sort of cold and distant marriage ever again. You should read the NYT article that came out this week about the older couple that embrace their sexuality together, even if that means expanding their understanding about what counts as sex. Hint: there's more to sex than PIV!

A new relationship is very different than a 30 year old one.

But since you found this great love and chemistry so late in life it will likely carry you all the way to the end!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not attracted to people over 50 maybe 55 if really well kept. So yeah right up until I have to see a man that old. 😖

Funny how life changes our perspective as we age. I hope if you’re married now you read this back to yourself when you’re both over 55.

[Anonymous]

There’s an Italian saying that if you put a marble in a jar every time you have sex in the first year, and then remove a marble every time you have sex after the first year…

You can finish the sentence

[Anonymous]

Until I get my kids.

[Anonymous]

Men can’t keep it up or sometimes can’t even get it up after 45, so unless you are marrying another woman… it’s limited. But a good man can be creative!

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Life is unpredictable. I am a sexual assault survivor and view sex differently than many other people do, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you comprehend that you will feel differently at 65, 75, 85 than you did at 20, 30 or 40?

Marriages can last 60 years or more. Do you understand that health issues can crop up along the way?

I wish I had realized better that my drive would bounce back quite a bit post menopause, but hormones are a true driver of sex and once those hormones drop, so does desire. And atrophy is a real issue for many women.

But also many men start to have a lot of issues in their 50s. Weight and medications cause ED difficulty, and knees and hips start to break down.

It's not as easy to "just do it" to appease a partner.

Sex is the icing on the cake in a relationship. It's not the main thing.

--- Signed married woman for 45 years

That's nice for you. Sex is the most important part of a marriage. I despise my wife for taking that away.

[Anonymous]

Expect or hope?. I expect to masturbate and use vibrators for a very long time.

But as far as marriage is concerned, I cannot expect to have sex with someone if they don't want to have sex with me and vice versa. I would like and hope that they want to for as long as I do, but no expectations. I expect them to communicate what they can and can no longer do and why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not attracted to people over 50 maybe 55 if really well kept. So yeah right up until I have to see a man that old. 😖

Lol. Aren't you aging as well?