Boyfriend continues to cheat
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Anonymous
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My BF and I have been dating about 10–11 months. The first few months were great, but around month four I found out he had cheated on me with one of Our friends. He’d meet up with her. He said it was “an accident,” apologized a lot, and promised it wouldn’t happen again. He’s a nice partner so I accepted his apology.
Except it didn’t stop. I caught him talking to other girls and he hooked up multiple times with one from work. When I finally said I was done and leaving, he somehow got my mom’s number and texted her saying that **I** cheated on **him** and that he was trying to forgive me, she believed him too. I ignored it all and still tried to end things, but he kept apologizing and saying he panicked because he didn’t want to lose me. I ended up staying. Now whenever we argue about what happened, he brings up that I “cheated” and says he has trust issues because of me. The “proof” he uses is that I went to an event with friends a while back and he saw pictures of me drinking there, and he says that means I must have hooked up with someone. That’s literally the whole thing he points to. So when I bring up the cheating that actually happened, the conversation somehow turns into him saying he doesn’t trust me and that I broke the relationship first. At this point the whole situation feels completely twisted and I don’t even know how to respond when he says these things. What would you do in this situation? |
Anonymous
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Babe. So, I had a similar BF. I ignored my gut and stayed. Eventually, I caught him cheating while I was literally giving birth to his child. Still didn't leave for another 3 years, when I caught him cheating for the god knows how many time.
The whole "but YOU did XYZ!" is straight out of the cheater's playbook. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It's to get you to shut up and not hold him accountable. Leave. It's not worth it. He's going to cheat again, and it's up to you whether you end it now or years from now. Now is better. |
Anonymous
| So he cheated and you stayed. What did you expect? He’s shown you who he is. Either accept it or leave. He is not going to stop. |
Anonymous
Good lord. You are idiots. |
Anonymous
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Dump him immediately and block him. Get into therapy for yourself so that you can learn to make better choices. There are decent men out there.
WTH is wrong with your mother? |
Anonymous
| I’d have left him after the first time! Where the hell is your self esteem?! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| He’s a sociopath. Read what you wrote. He’s manipulative and emotionally abusive and a creep who also cheats. You need to end this immediately. |
Anonymous
| What did your mother say? |
Anonymous
| Is this for real? Dump and block immediately, tell your mom to mind her own effing business, and make a therapist appointment to work out why you are willing to tolerate this bs. |
Anonymous
| OP what advice would you give to one of your girlfriends in this situation? Would you really tell her to stay in this relationship? |
Anonymous
| If this is real, this has the hallmark of being one of those relationships that devolves into physical violence. He will always accuse you of cheating as a form of gaslighting and to distract from his own failures in the relationship. When you leave him for good (the sooner the better), he will stalk you and anyone close to you. You may even need a restraining order to keep him away from you. Quit him cold turkey. Block his number. Move if you need to. Tell you mother to ignore because he's crazy (the truth). Tell your friends that he's a psychopath so they understand what he's doing. |
Anonymous
| Someone who cheats once is definitely not nice. Make him your EX. Time to move on without him. 10 months into a relationship shouldn't have any drama. |
Anonymous
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"I found out he had cheated on me...I accepted his apology....I caught him talking to other girls...I ignored it all and still tried to end things, but...I ended up staying."
Sounds like a terrible guy and you chose to stick with him. The good news is that you can ditch him now. (Then you can get a little therapy to figure out what you stayed with someone like him.) |
Anonymous
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How old are you? 19?
He's shown you who he is. Too much drama and a life of heartache in the future and you are not even married or have kids together...please move on. |