NYTimes: In South Korea, Questions About Cram Schools, Success and Happiness

[Anonymous]

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/04/world/asia/south-korea-cram-schools-childhood-stress.html
Academic pressure has become so intense that even preschoolers are taking private extracurricular classes, raising worries about children’s rights.


In fact, it’s the same in the Bay Area—kids start going to cram schools even before kindergarten. Go to daycares, you'd see five-year-olds doing pre-algebra worksheets in daycare and being pulled from regular activities at their parents’ request. There’s a striking disparity across communities: some children are pushed aggressively to get ahead academically—especially in math—while others lack access to consistent or adequate educational support altogether.

[Anonymous]

Let these people fight tooth and nail for scraps and burn themselves out in the rat race.

[Anonymous]

Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

[Anonymous]

I’m genuinely curious—does getting ahead really help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious—does getting ahead really help?

What does getting ahead really mean?

[Anonymous]

You might think Korea and Japan would look inward and wonder why they don't really create any start-ups, their populations are collapsing, etc.

It sounds like a terrible life to go to school essentially 70 hours per week until 21, then become an office drone for the rest of your life.

I guess that's why many of the wealthy people send their kids to private schools in the US or Australia or other countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

Until they start pressuring schools to do things their way. Then there's less choice to do what works for your family. Do what you want outside of school but don't force schools to adapt their curriculum to suit your particular family's needs. If you want to accelerate in a particular subject it's not the school's job to match that pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

I agree it’s a personal choice. What I don’t really buy is the idea that success on paper or a sense of superiority automatically means someone has more innate talent, or that excellence comes effortlessly. Most of the time, there’s a real mental and physical cost behind it that people don’t talk about. Meanwhile, use that to argue about who's more worthy for the reward (in DCUM, it'd be college) is not convincing.

Success comes from effort, talent, and a bit of luck—but it shouldn’t mean sacrificing your mental or physical health or chasing it just for bragging points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious—does getting ahead really help?

What does getting ahead really mean?

It means you never walk into any class needing to rely on the classroom instruction. You could get an A on the final day one. More importantly, you never trust the US public school system to teach math or science. You learn it outside the system so that at higher levels you don’t struggle with gaps.

In the Bay Area, it is not uncommon for kids to start taking DE courses in 8th grade and have their GE, and DE major prerequisite courses complete with straight As along with the APs in high school to get the most rigorous check box by the end of junior year.

It also means that kids in public are competing with kids who have a second set of credentials. As it’s low cost to do this, they don’t trigger the pay to privilege box that other programs signal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious—does getting ahead really help?

What does getting ahead really mean?

It means you never walk into any class needing to rely on the classroom instruction. You could get an A on the final day one. More importantly, you never trust the US public school system to teach math or science. You learn it outside the system so that at higher levels you don’t struggle with gaps.

In the Bay Area, it is not uncommon for kids to start taking DE courses in 8th grade and have their GE, and DE major prerequisite courses complete with straight As along with the APs in high school to get the most rigorous check box by the end of junior year.

It also means that kids in public are competing with kids who have a second set of credentials. As it’s low cost to do this, they don’t trigger the pay to privilege box that other programs signal.

The problem with those Bay Area cram schools is that they’re not really teaching the material. They’re helping kids get high test scores by drilling them on old exams they’ve gotten from different schools. That’s basically another version of pay-to-play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

I agree it’s a personal choice. What I don’t really buy is the idea that success on paper or a sense of superiority automatically means someone has more innate talent, or that excellence comes effortlessly. Most of the time, there’s a real mental and physical cost behind it that people don’t talk about. Meanwhile, use that to argue about who's more worthy for the reward (in DCUM, it'd be college) is not convincing.

Success comes from effort, talent, and a bit of luck—but it shouldn’t mean sacrificing your mental or physical health or chasing it just for bragging points.

I happen to agree with you as it relates to my family.

But I’m completely fine with other parents choosing this route for their family if it’s what feels right to them. If “bragging rights” are their priority, that fine by me. Different strokes.

The key is not to get caught up in other people’s opinions.

Everything you describe above is interesting … and a matter of opinion. For example:

What does it mean to have “success”?
What exactly is “superior” to what and why?

What’s more important, valuable, or “real” - performance on paper or innate talent?

Which costs are with incurring for which rewards?

Your opinions and points of view on these questions are valid. And so are other people’s.

We all get to have opinions. And we all get to decide how much we take in, are influenced by, and/or OFFENDED by other people’s options.

Again, your call. I’m just skeptical when people include variations of the word “should” when talking about other people’s values and priorities. Even when I happen to agree, it’s a signal that someone is trying to pass off their opinion as a universal truth …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

I agree it’s a personal choice. What I don’t really buy is the idea that success on paper or a sense of superiority automatically means someone has more innate talent, or that excellence comes effortlessly. Most of the time, there’s a real mental and physical cost behind it that people don’t talk about. Meanwhile, use that to argue about who's more worthy for the reward (in DCUM, it'd be college) is not convincing.

Success comes from effort, talent, and a bit of luck—but it shouldn’t mean sacrificing your mental or physical health or chasing it just for bragging points.

I happen to agree with you as it relates to my family.

But I’m completely fine with other parents choosing this route for their family if it’s what feels right to them. If “bragging rights” are their priority, that fine by me. Different strokes.

The key is not to get caught up in other people’s opinions.

Everything you describe above is interesting … and a matter of opinion. For example:

What does it mean to have “success”?
What exactly is “superior” to what and why?

What’s more important, valuable, or “real” - performance on paper or innate talent?

Which costs are with incurring for which rewards?

Your opinions and points of view on these questions are valid. And so are other people’s.

We all get to have opinions. And we all get to decide how much we take in, are influenced by, and/or OFFENDED by other people’s options.

Again, your call. I’m just skeptical of your use of the word “shouldn’t” when talking about other people’s values and priorities.

Even when I happen to agree, I see variations of the word “should” as a signal that someone is trying to pass off their opinion as a universal truth …

tl;dr: Opinions are great. Recognize yours for what they are. And consider letting other people’s roll off your back if you don’t care about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Korea is going to implode. They already have the lowest birth rate in the world. It's a fantastic place to visit and live if you don't have kids. But, the "cram" school in the US and the US education in general is a lot easier than in Korea. That's one of the reasons why people want to send their kids here.

Yes, they are importing some of their way of life here, but in some ways, it's no different than parents who push their kids to excel in sports in hopes for an athletic scholarship such that the kids are stressed (physically, too) and get little sleep. Same coin, different sides.

-Korean American

Great point. There’s no single “American” approach to educational priorities.

Different parents and communities choose to do things differently, in part influenced by cultural background, but in my experience, influenced even more by their sense of economic security, financial background, and class/wealth.

“We” in America includes everyone from low income/first-gen parents focused primarily on getting the kids off to college, to working class/middle class families hoping their kids will use their education to attain more financial security than they grew up with, to UMC families hoping their kids’ education will help them retain the security they have, to UHNW families with accessible generational wealth … and everything in between.

So of course these families will be approaching education differently, from pre-school to college and beyond.

And that’s ok! There’s no one way to raise happy, healthy, successful kids. Life is better when we choose what works for our family while giving everyone else the grace and space to do the same.

I agree it’s a personal choice. What I don’t really buy is the idea that success on paper or a sense of superiority automatically means someone has more innate talent, or that excellence comes effortlessly. Most of the time, there’s a real mental and physical cost behind it that people don’t talk about. Meanwhile, use that to argue about who's more worthy for the reward (in DCUM, it'd be college) is not convincing.

Success comes from effort, talent, and a bit of luck—but it shouldn’t mean sacrificing your mental or physical health or chasing it just for bragging points.

Absolutely. These Korean parents don't think their kid are doing great in school because of innate talent. They follow the confucius teachings of working hard. There's a saying in Korean that people say to students roughly translates to: "study hard".

I also agree that people shouldn't chase success at the expense of their mental well being. I'm a perfect example. I could've excelled in my career and be a high level manager by now (I was always asked if I wanted the manager track, and I have always received high ratings on my reviews), but I chose to stay in my individual contributor level while earning a decent amount because I didn't want the stress that came with a higher position. I'm comfortable with where I'm at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m genuinely curious—does getting ahead really help?

What does getting ahead really mean?

It means you never walk into any class needing to rely on the classroom instruction. You could get an A on the final day one. More importantly, you never trust the US public school system to teach math or science. You learn it outside the system so that at higher levels you don’t struggle with gaps.

In the Bay Area, it is not uncommon for kids to start taking DE courses in 8th grade and have their GE, and DE major prerequisite courses complete with straight As along with the APs in high school to get the most rigorous check box by the end of junior year.

It also means that kids in public are competing with kids who have a second set of credentials. As it’s low cost to do this, they don’t trigger the pay to privilege box that other programs signal.

The problem with those Bay Area cram schools is that they’re not really teaching the material. They’re helping kids get high test scores by drilling them on old exams they’ve gotten from different schools. That’s basically another version of pay-to-play.

Are Bay Area cram schools really that much worse than DMV area cram schools?

There are literally dozens of cheap DMV area cram schools that leverage free things like Khan and AoPS with great results. I don't think those are what you would call pay to play.