Question for anxious parents: what are you truly afraid of?

[Anonymous]

I see a massive amount of hand wringing on this forum.

So I have to ask: what are you truly afraid of?

What do you suppose might happen if your kid doesn’t get into a “good enough” college?

Surely you all must know successful people who went to a huge range of colleges. So you know it’s far from the end of the world if you don’t get into the college you like at 17 years old.

So what’s the fear?

[Anonymous]

Prestigious colleges generally graduate more successful people, and some industries are only accessible to people who attend a select few elite universities. Resources, opportunities, and faculty relationships can be cultivated more easily at some schools as well.

[Anonymous]

Downward mobility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prestigious colleges generally graduate more successful people, and some industries are only accessible to people who attend a select few elite universities. Resources, opportunities, and faculty relationships can be cultivated more easily at some schools as well.

Which industries are ONLY accessible to a small number of colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prestigious colleges generally graduate more successful people, and some industries are only accessible to people who attend a select few elite universities. Resources, opportunities, and faculty relationships can be cultivated more easily at some schools as well.

Which industries are ONLY accessible to a small number of colleges?

Investment banking, MBB consulting. Good luck breaking in if you're not at at LEAST a semi-target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prestigious colleges generally graduate more successful people, and some industries are only accessible to people who attend a select few elite universities. Resources, opportunities, and faculty relationships can be cultivated more easily at some schools as well.

Which industries are ONLY accessible to a small number of colleges?

Investment banking, MBB consulting. Good luck breaking in if you're not at at LEAST a semi-target.

Ok.

Beyond that, which most people are miserable actually doing, which industries?

And by elite, I mean T20 university or T10 SLAC. The DCUM preferred schools.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid of my child slipping into a different social class than the one I grew up in and am most comfortable with. I don't mean in terms of money--I am not wealthy--but in terms of habits of the mind. At home and in school, I grew up around people who read books, discussed history, understood scientific principles, were curious about the world, appreciated fine art and music, and were generally very smart. I get nervous that if my child attends a lower-ranked school, his peer group will be comprised of less intellectual people and that this will dull his mind a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of my child slipping into a different social class than the one I grew up in and am most comfortable with. I don't mean in terms of money--I am not wealthy--but in terms of habits of the mind. At home and in school, I grew up around people who read books, discussed history, understood scientific principles, were curious about the world, appreciated fine art and music, and were generally very smart. I get nervous that if my child attends a lower-ranked school, his peer group will be comprised of less intellectual people and that this will dull his mind a bit.

And you think if your kid goes to a college beyond the Top 20 they won’t be intellectual anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Downward mobility

It’s this plus it’s frustrating as people have seen their kids work so hard and do very poorly in admissions.

[Anonymous]

Worried that my DC will think all their hardworking was for nothing. Told DC many times that if they didn't want to work hard they could go to a lower ranked school and relax. Not what they wanted. Would feel bad if all their work was for nothing.

I actually have concerns that going to an elite school could make things more difficult after college, not easier. The competition at elite schools is intense and kids could burn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prestigious colleges generally graduate more successful people, and some industries are only accessible to people who attend a select few elite universities. Resources, opportunities, and faculty relationships can be cultivated more easily at some schools as well.

Which industries are ONLY accessible to a small number of colleges?

Investment banking, MBB consulting. Good luck breaking in if you're not at at LEAST a semi-target.

Ok.

Beyond that, which most people are miserable actually doing, which industries?

And by elite, I mean T20 university or T10 SLAC. The DCUM preferred schools.

Most jobs that have excellent entry-level pay are much more accessible to kids at elite schools. It's a harsh and not universal truth, but the majority of these jobs are quickly filled by T20 uni and T10 SLAC grads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of my child slipping into a different social class than the one I grew up in and am most comfortable with. I don't mean in terms of money--I am not wealthy--but in terms of habits of the mind. At home and in school, I grew up around people who read books, discussed history, understood scientific principles, were curious about the world, appreciated fine art and music, and were generally very smart. I get nervous that if my child attends a lower-ranked school, his peer group will be comprised of less intellectual people and that this will dull his mind a bit.

And you think if your kid goes to a college beyond the Top 20 they won’t be intellectual anymore?

No. My dc isn't looking Top 20. His super reach schools are Top 50. His safety schools are Top 150.

[Anonymous]

Well at least they’re honest…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of my child slipping into a different social class than the one I grew up in and am most comfortable with. I don't mean in terms of money--I am not wealthy--but in terms of habits of the mind. At home and in school, I grew up around people who read books, discussed history, understood scientific principles, were curious about the world, appreciated fine art and music, and were generally very smart. I get nervous that if my child attends a lower-ranked school, his peer group will be comprised of less intellectual people and that this will dull his mind a bit.

And you think if your kid goes to a college beyond the Top 20 they won’t be intellectual anymore?

T20 is not a stationary line, it could be T30 for some, or T50 for others, or T10 for a few. But you got the point.

[Anonymous]

Peer group matters a lot. Obviously, there are smart kids at every university, but constantly being surrounded by driven & accomplished peers breeds a natural desire to excel and succeed. And as parents, we all want our children to succeed, no matter how we individually define 'success'; for me, it's defined by how my kid sees it, and they want to aim for an elite university.