I need period help....period
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Anonymous
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Single dad of a competitive swimmer and gymnast.
I KNOW this info is avaliable via search engine, but to be honest, I am looking for a little bit more of a human touch. Reading through this forum, I have seen stuff that I didn't even know existed ( period swimsuits, etc) and I would like advice. I am sure people will also jab at me, but c'est la vie. Thanks in advance for those willing to help. Anyway, I have to admit I have ben dreading my daughter's initial foray into "womanhood". Judging by typical signs and her pediatrician, she could start any day. She and I are very close, but she, and I don't think she is alone, doesn't really feel like talking to her dad about thes things. We lost her mother in a terrible way due to an illness, and I haven't felt the inclination to even date. I also don't want to complicate things for her as she heads towards middle school by having her have to adopt to a new lady in the house. So here are my questions: 1. What shoud I have on hand? I know I need pads and tampons, but like, what kind? Should I just buy a variety of sizes and what not? 2. Is it reasonable to assume she knows what she is doing as far as tampons go? I am sure she talks to friends and stuff, but I know she is VERY afraid of any type of incident, especially since she is in two sports (gymnastics and swimming) that it will be harder to hide things in given the uniform. If it was soccer or basketball, I think it would be easier. 3. Are there any things that definitely need to be said ahead of time? I mean, I KNOW she needs to carry tings with her now and for quite a while after, but I am legit clueless about how to prepare her if plan A fails. 4. If anyone has a gymnast or a swimmer , please unload advice on me. I am pretty sure if something were to happen and she were to have an accident, she would be mortified (of course) and would partially blame me for not having my act together. It is odd how clueless adult men are about this. I really want to help my kid a she has been through enough for a few lifetimes dealing with the loss of her mom. |
Anonymous
| Is there a Unitarian Church near you? They offer Our Whole Lives sexuality education classes and it sounds like this would be beneficial to her. |
Anonymous
Wow! Thanks! I don't think so , but I will find one |
Anonymous
| Single mom and could also use this same advice for my tween athletes. Don't need the Unitarian class, though. |
Anonymous
| She should have a little kit with her at all times (my daughter's school FLE calls this a "go bag"). In it we have: clean underwear, a pair of back leggings, and a variety of sizes of pads. This way if she starts her period at school, or has a leak situation after she starts, she has the things to handle it. |
Anonymous
PP again. I did find some helpful tips in prior DCUM threads but wondering if there are newer products. How do teen ballerinas handle heavy periods? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1228907.page First period kit - what should I buy? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1252942.page Period products for tweens/early teens? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1206006.page Prepare for first period https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/486154.page |
Anonymous
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I was shy and didn't want to talk to my gregarious mom about things like this. So my mom gave me a box filled with everything to try, plus a booklet on becoming a woman. That's what I plan on doing for my DD. So if I were you, I'd go to the store and buy all different types: multipack of tampons, pantiliner, regular and overnight pads, Diva cup (get the size for women who haven't had children), period panty and some individually wrapped baby wipes. A lot of the boxes are geared towards teens and make it fun. Later on you get the boring cheap tampons.
I loved looking through my variety box and reading the boxes to figure everything out. I wish I could find that pamphlet on becoming a woman so I could give it to my DD. I think I read it 20x. I started my period at 11 and no one else had it in my grade. I've bought my DD a few books on period. There's an American Girl one about care and keeping of you (the second one I think) that talks about periods. |
Anonymous
+1, I would also make sure your kit has some Advil too in case your DD gets cramps with her period (mine does and 2 Advil takes care of it). My DD is a competitive swimmer and she started using tampons with her first period. She was among the last of her teammates to get it so she had plenty of advice, and she just felt like she had to do it because skipping a meet or practice because she had her period was not something she would want to do, so she made it happen. She found the Tampax Pearl the easiest to use and has had no issue with them. |
Anonymous
| You sound like a wonderful dad and man for caring about this and your daughter in this way. Your wife is proud I’m certain. |
Anonymous
| Do you have a family friend or sister who has teens who have recently gone thru this? Your DD is bound to have questions/situations when she needs additional help. You could ask your DD for suggestions on who she would feel comfortable with. You are a thoughtful dad. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. My own mother was not helpful and I had an older sister who was my main resource. But anyone...another mom, family friend, relative. You are doing a great job. The fact that you're thinking of all this means it's going to all be good. I'm sorry about her mom. |
Anonymous
| ^^^Adding to this, maybe the mom of one of her friends might be willing to help. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP, I could never get the hang of tampons until I was about 18 (and I even had an older sister I was very close with help me in very intimate ways). My 14 yo is too nervous to try them also, and my 12 yo (doesn’t have her period) is horrified by the idea of tampons, despite my best efforts to make them seem like nbd. So definitely have them on offer. But I don’t know if tampon difficulties are common among young teens or if it’s just my own kids.
In the event tampons do not work for your dd, you could try period underwear / swim suits, as others have mentioned. In my and my dd case, we also started using “birth control” to combat acne and heavy irregular periods as young teens. Just something to know is out there. You can take the pill continuously and not have periods. You could also just take it “the regular way” if periods are too irregular or heavy. We have little pouches with period supplies in the glove box of our cars and in dd backpack (she just started the pill a few weeks ago and is still very irregular). I also have her keep a sweatshirt in her locker in the off chance she needs to wrap it around her waist, as well as a pair of underwear and pants. |
Anonymous
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My daughter just got her period.
-Go to store and buy a bunch of different products for her to try. All in the smallest size option. Ask a female friend to help or another mom if it's overwhelming. If a single dad asked me this, I would be so happy to help. Make sure you get pads with wings in smallest size and then get some daily liners and some options for overnight in smallest size. There are pictures on the packages that show you that you are buying the smallest size. -Talk to her about how to correctly dispose of the used pads. -She's going to need a talk through on the tampons. If you can't find a woman she would feel comfortable with, find some you tube videos. Tampons can be stressful so if you can hold off on that I would for now until she's got basics underway. -Sounds like she doesn't have period yet so for now yes you're just giving her a kit to have in her bag at school. If she has an accident at school and the blood goes through her clothes and is visible, tie a sweatshirt around the waist. Borrow from a friend if she doesn't have one. Go to the school nurse and nurse calls you and you go get her or bring her a change of clothes. Emphasize this is totally normal and happens to all women at some point. |
Anonymous
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My tween was having questions about tampons that I could easily answer and demonstrate (and that we talk about on here all the time) - if you feel it, it's not in far enough, aim it a bit up and bACK, not straight up, etc.
I learned from reading the Playtex insert. I'm sure there are great Youtubes now about this though. Any google masters out there know? |