Do you think being a daddy’s girl helps or hurts a woman in relationships?

[Anonymous]

DH adores our daughter. She is truly loved by her dad (and mom). I sometimes worry that her standards will be too high and her expectations won’t be met.

[Anonymous]

Worry about her rights moving forward.

[Anonymous]

This again? I don't think a daughter's relationship with her father has that much influence on her choice of romantic partner. It's a bit creepy to suggest that it is.

[Anonymous]

In DD kindergarten class there was a girl who thought is a princess it took her the first day with the kids to teach her she wasn’t.The teacher was telling me the story with a smile in her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH adores our daughter. She is truly loved by her dad (and mom). I sometimes worry that her standards will be too high and her expectations won’t be met.

If she turns out to be a lesbian, do you think you adoring her will hurt her relationship?

[Anonymous]

I think having loving, positive relationships with parents is always a good thing.

But a father who loves his daughter still needs to parent her, enforce boundaries and make sure she follows rules. Just like they would parent a boy in their household.

[Anonymous]

Having a loving father ≠ daddy's girl

How are people confused about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This again? I don't think a daughter's relationship with her father has that much influence on her choice of romantic partner. It's a bit creepy to suggest that it is.

I think it's weird you see no relationship there at all. You seem to be getting hung up on the idea that this being a formative relationship that impacts romantic relationships later on means the father-daughter relationship *is* romantic. No one is claiming that. But parents have a huge impact on how children develop a sense of self, and especially a sense of self worth. For heterosexual women, their father is usually the most influential male in their lives until they begin dating, especially because so many other authority figures around kids these days tend to be female. So women often learn about men, in general, from their dads. Not in a romantic way, but in terms of what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from men, ways in which men may be different from women (or not), and so on.

Heterosexual men also learn a lot about women from their moms. Again, it's not romantic.

To answer OP's question: in general the women I know who were doted on by their fathers tend to either:

1) wind up in relationships where they are treated very well by their husbands, or

2) never marry.

I think it sets a high standard of regard and adoration that can be hard to meet, though if you can find a man who does meet it, that sounds nice. My own dad mostly ignored me growing up and I wound up marrying a man who, while a perfectly good person, doesn't pay much attention to me in general.

[Anonymous]

I think it's good for girls (and boys) to see a positive example in how their parents treat each other. I think it prepares them to recognize how it feels when they find a potential life partners, as well as to notice red flags. I think a bigger issue than high expectations is when people prioritize their career at the expense of finding a relationship. The pool of good partners, the ability to attract one, and the flexibility to compromise and grow with another person is highest when you are young. If you wait too long, the dating pool can shrink and people get set in their ways.

[Anonymous]

Mostly, being a daddy’s girl has been great in finding guys & having high standards — which I think every woman should have! But it’s also hurt sometimes. My ex-boyfriend felt insecure and would get mad that I spent weekends traveling, hanging out, and having dinners or dates with my dad. I’m in my late 20s now, and the guy I’m dating now is great about it — he respects that relationship. But it definitely made things difficult a little in the past. It’s not about expecting my partner to replace my dad, but the love and respect I got from him growing up made me unwilling to settle for less.

[Anonymous]

A college friend was frank about the fact that she would never find a man who loved her as much as her daddy did. She was right. Still, she's in a solid relationship now and seems content enough.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s good for people, boys and girls, to think of themselves as lovable and expect to be loved by their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH adores our daughter. She is truly loved by her dad (and mom). I sometimes worry that her standards will be too high and her expectations won’t be met.

That’s nice but irrelevant. How he cares for and treats his wife is for her future husband expectations.

Plus you don’t provide examples.
Loves her so much and showers her with kisses and pats her head? Or spends hours a week in her free throws? Or challenges her to take tough classes or new activities? Or goes to fix the shed and teaches her to too? Or buys her whatever she wants, on demand?

Nothing wrong with having high expectations, across the board. For yourself, your friends, your significant other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH adores our daughter. She is truly loved by her dad (and mom). I sometimes worry that her standards will be too high and her expectations won’t be met.

Adores and loves?

Those are concepts.

Show us some actions.

[Anonymous]

I once told an older woman my dad called me his princess as a child and she fell over herself insisting I needed to rid myself of that “entitlement” and it would be a “rude awakening” when I got married. 15 years later, my husband still adores me and treats me with kindness and affection all the time. It was weird and I think people who have very strong opinions on this are likely older women and resentful.