Tips for reinvigorating sex life

[Anonymous]

After becoming a mostly dead bedroom, DH and I committed to trying to improve things and have actually made a dramatic turnaround in our sex life over the past six months or so.

We went from probably 2x / month to 3x / week. Feel more connected than ever. Here’s what actually worked.

-Committed to daily walks no matter what. 8k to 10k steps. Great way to maintain the connection
-One small overnight weekend trip every few months. Small, easy trips. Time in a hotel with your partner always helps
-Completely opened things up in terms of communicating about what things we most enjoyed sexually. No shame, no embarrassment, complete openness and honesty. Added a few things as a result of this
-Cut out alcohol. Amazing for libido
-Spent some $ on freshening up our wardrobes. If you look good, you feel good

Probably a few others, but these are the main ones. We’re proof that you can revive a dead bedroom, I promise! Have you ever had similar success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After becoming a mostly dead bedroom, DH and I committed to trying to improve things and have actually made a dramatic turnaround in our sex life over the past six months or so.

We went from probably 2x / month to 3x / week. Feel more connected than ever. Here’s what actually worked.

-Committed to daily walks no matter what. 8k to 10k steps. Great way to maintain the connection
-One small overnight weekend trip every few months. Small, easy trips. Time in a hotel with your partner always helps
-Completely opened things up in terms of communicating about what things we most enjoyed sexually. No shame, no embarrassment, complete openness and honesty. Added a few things as a result of this
-Cut out alcohol. Amazing for libido
-Spent some $ on freshening up our wardrobes. If you look good, you feel good

Probably a few others, but these are the main ones. We’re proof that you can revive a dead bedroom, I promise! Have you ever had similar success?

You can certainly revive it if both partners are rational and have the ability to self reflect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After becoming a mostly dead bedroom, DH and I committed to trying to improve things and have actually made a dramatic turnaround in our sex life over the past six months or so.

We went from probably 2x / month to 3x / week. Feel more connected than ever. Here’s what actually worked.

-Committed to daily walks no matter what. 8k to 10k steps. Great way to maintain the connection
-One small overnight weekend trip every few months. Small, easy trips. Time in a hotel with your partner always helps
-Completely opened things up in terms of communicating about what things we most enjoyed sexually. No shame, no embarrassment, complete openness and honesty. Added a few things as a result of this
-Cut out alcohol. Amazing for libido
-Spent some $ on freshening up our wardrobes. If you look good, you feel good

Probably a few others, but these are the main ones. We’re proof that you can revive a dead bedroom, I promise! Have you ever had similar success?

I am glad that worked for you.

What reinvigorated my sex life was divorcing my dud exDH and having sex with someone younger, hotter and happier. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at a "dead bedroom" being "probably 2x / month." That's not dead. But glad for you it's better.

[Anonymous]

I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at a "dead bedroom" being "probably 2x / month." That's not dead. But glad for you it's better.

OP said "mostly dead," and that seems like a good descriptor. Why are you quibbling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

[Anonymous]

Twice a month isn’t a dead bedroom … it sounds like you shared a baseline attraction and interest in sex but just needed to get more intentional about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

She keeps busy with lots of stuff.
We'll just watch a lot of TV.
Kids that are getting older and stay up later now.
She falls asleep quickly.
I have never really been a big flirt.
I am never really sure if she wants it and hasn't seemed bothered by our lack of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

She keeps busy with lots of stuff.
We'll just watch a lot of TV.
Kids that are getting older and stay up later now.
She falls asleep quickly.
I have never really been a big flirt.
I am never really sure if she wants it and hasn't seemed bothered by our lack of sex.

How frequent was it at its best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

She keeps busy with lots of stuff.
We'll just watch a lot of TV.
Kids that are getting older and stay up later now.
She falls asleep quickly.
I have never really been a big flirt.
I am never really sure if she wants it and hasn't seemed bothered by our lack of sex.

How frequent was it at its best?

Honestly, I can't even remember. We've been through several years now where it was like once a year. One year, she planned a family weekend getaway on our anniversary, so no fireworks on that occasion. But if I were to guess, maybe at least once a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After becoming a mostly dead bedroom, DH and I committed to trying to improve things and have actually made a dramatic turnaround in our sex life over the past six months or so.

We went from probably 2x / month to 3x / week. Feel more connected than ever. Here’s what actually worked.

-Committed to daily walks no matter what. 8k to 10k steps. Great way to maintain the connection
-One small overnight weekend trip every few months. Small, easy trips. Time in a hotel with your partner always helps
-Completely opened things up in terms of communicating about what things we most enjoyed sexually. No shame, no embarrassment, complete openness and honesty. Added a few things as a result of this
-Cut out alcohol. Amazing for libido
-Spent some $ on freshening up our wardrobes. If you look good, you feel good

Probably a few others, but these are the main ones. We’re proof that you can revive a dead bedroom, I promise! Have you ever had similar success?

I am glad that worked for you.

What reinvigorated my sex life was divorcing my dud exDH and having sex with someone younger, hotter and happier. YMMV.

Ha, same here. Current partner is nearly 20 years younger than xH. Nice to have sex with someone who is actually interested in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

She keeps busy with lots of stuff.
We'll just watch a lot of TV.
Kids that are getting older and stay up later now.
She falls asleep quickly.
I have never really been a big flirt.
I am never really sure if she wants it and hasn't seemed bothered by our lack of sex.

Meaning, you have no idea how to initiate. That’s a pretty big turnoff for women. Many women’s desire comes from being desired. It’s a tough job for men, but it’s important if you want to keep the bedroom alive. If she wants it, you’ll know. She’s doing her duty. Get some confidence and seduce her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this for you. We are way less than 2x a month. I feel like I should take some notes here. Can I ask your age? I'm 50 and she's late 40s

Late 40s here. What do you think is the biggest issue for you two in this area?

She keeps busy with lots of stuff.
We'll just watch a lot of TV.
Kids that are getting older and stay up later now.
She falls asleep quickly.
I have never really been a big flirt.
I am never really sure if she wants it and hasn't seemed bothered by our lack of sex.

Meaning, you have no idea how to initiate. That’s a pretty big turnoff for women. Many women’s desire comes from being desired. It’s a tough job for men, but it’s important if you want to keep the bedroom alive. If she wants it, you’ll know. She’s doing her duty. Get some confidence and seduce her.

Yaaay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After becoming a mostly dead bedroom, DH and I committed to trying to improve things and have actually made a dramatic turnaround in our sex life over the past six months or so.

We went from probably 2x / month to 3x / week. Feel more connected than ever. Here’s what actually worked.

-Committed to daily walks no matter what. 8k to 10k steps. Great way to maintain the connection
-One small overnight weekend trip every few months. Small, easy trips. Time in a hotel with your partner always helps
-Completely opened things up in terms of communicating about what things we most enjoyed sexually. No shame, no embarrassment, complete openness and honesty. Added a few things as a result of this
-Cut out alcohol. Amazing for libido
-Spent some $ on freshening up our wardrobes. If you look good, you feel good

Probably a few others, but these are the main ones. We’re proof that you can revive a dead bedroom, I promise! Have you ever had similar success?

You can certainly revive it if both partners are rational and have the ability to self reflect.

Yeah. Rare that is the case.