What’s the etiquette on receiving expensive gifts that you don’t care for?

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12/22/2025 09:25

Subject: What’s the etiquette on receiving expensive gifts that you don’t care for?

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Anonymous

My SO makes significantly more money than I do, so he gives expensive gifts, something I’m not particularly used to.

In the spring he got himself a pair of meta glasses, then went on to buy 2 more within a months time span because he liked them so much. He sent me a pair as well as a surprise, but sunglasses this time. Besides the fact that I’m not into that kind of stuff they were just plain bulky and unattractive. I told him thank you but he should get his money back as I knew I wouldn’t use them and didn’t want his money to go to waste. He kept telling me to keep them but I reminded him that I’m not into tech stuff and don’t wear sunglasses and felt bad that he spent so much on something I know I wouldn’t use. He finally gave in and I returned them.

Fast forward, to now. I asked him weeks ago if he had an idea about what he wanted for Christmas. He said don’t get him anything. I frowned and he said he’s already getting what he wants this year (I’m newly pregnant). I told him not to get me anything either and we’ll save the money for the baby and getting a new home (we need to move for more space). He got a package sent to my parent’s house because we live downtown and the mailman will leave packages outside. Anywho, it got lost so he decided to show me what he ordered. He ordered me this $500 purse. It’s kind of big, almost like a small duffle IMO. He said yesterday, “Yea, I’m a great gift giver because I get people something I know that I would get for myself”. I told him yesterday thank you, I appreciated it but it wasn’t my style because it’s fairly large.

We found out today that unfortunately, you can’t return or exchange. Just like the Meta glasses I told him I felt bad and I wonder if he’s sister in law would like to buy it. He said for me to keep it and I told him I knew I wouldn’t use it. He said, “yea, you don’t seem that big on purses”. I told him no, especially after I got robbed a few years ago (I got a fractured skull), so I only carry 1 small purse. I showed him the sizes of purses that do like and said, “this is why you have to get people what they like, not what you like”. Probably shouldn’t have said that, I admit”. He told me that I was rude and I should just say thank you and accept gifts, even if I don’t like it. He said I should’ve just accepted the Meta glasses too. I told him if they weren’t so expensive I would buy when they’re that expensive and I know I wouldn’t use them I don’t want him to waste his money. He told me they’re expensive to me but not to him and that he gives gifts without any expectations, so I should just zip it.

So, what’s the etiquette in receiving expensive gifts?