The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?

[Anonymous]

For years, I've heard people complain about destination weddings. My reaction (not usually expressed aloud) has always been -- "So, go or don't go. What's the big deal?" Now I get it. Because .. . get ready for it .... my nephew is getting married next year in Spain. It will undoubtedly be lovely and festive, but, here's the thing; actually, a few things:

1) Four ago he and his lovely wife were married in a small ceremony in beautiful New England during the glory of fall. This was during COVID, so the wedding guest list was limited to about 40 family members who could be relied on to take appropriate health precautions. DH and I attended with our three adult kids. The wedding was super fun with dancing until late into the night. A good time was had by all and nobody got COVID.

2) The wedding in Spain will be attended by most of the bride's family, who live there.

3) The wedding date coincides with a major work-related event for my daughter. She is the only one of us (my nuclear family) who actually wants to attend. DH and I and our other two kids have been planning other travel around the time of the wedding, though nothing is written in cement at this point, so we could go.

4) My sister, the MOG, has been a real PITA recently, annoying the heck out of our nuclear family for reasons that are not related to the wedding and which I will not go into here because that would then require me to take a long walk, touch grass and meditate on the intention of compassion. I am trying very hard to isolate this part of the equation and not make the decision about whether to attend focus on this.

Thoughts (and prayers) are welcome.

[Anonymous]

Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

[Anonymous]

You're never obligated to travel internationally, and obviously especially when they're already married. They did a wedding for you guys in the US and now they are doing one in Spain for her relatives.

[Anonymous]

You already went to their wedding. Obligation satisfied. This is just a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

Sounds like their actual wedding was plenty fun per the description and being in Spain doesn't make it more "fun." It's simply where her family is located.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're never obligated to travel internationally, and obviously especially when they're already married. They did a wedding for you guys in the US and now they are doing one in Spain for her relatives.

Exactly. This is so petty.

[Anonymous]

Good luck. Send your regrets. Done. It's for her family in Spain. You already attended. This is basically a vow renewal and you have zero obligation to go.

[Anonymous]

So, go or don’t go. What’s the big deal?

Seriously though I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

+1. These “dumping on relatives, in-laws “ threads are getting old.

[Anonymous]

This isn't about *you*. Don't go.
Was the bride's family included in the original wedding? Give the bride some grace if they missed due to covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.

You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!

Sounds like their actual wedding was plenty fun per the description and being in Spain doesn't make it more "fun." It's simply where her family is located.

It's gonna be more fun with a bunch of Spaniards in Spain than any wedding of 40 Americans with OP's attitude could ever be. Sign me up!

[Anonymous]

1. So you already attended their actual wedding.

2. It’s not a destination; it’s the bride’s hometown.

3. Your adult kids decide whether they want to go. Not your problem.

4. MOG behavior should not influence whether you attend your nephew’s event.

Go or don’t go.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you getting pressure to go? I would think there would be absolutely no pressure at all since you went to the first wedding. Or is it awkward since one of your kids wants to go?

I have never been to Spain and want to go so this would be a nice excuse. But if I didn’t I would feel zero obligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For years, I've heard people complain about destination weddings. My reaction (not usually expressed aloud) has always been -- "So, go or don't go. What's the big deal?" Now I get it. Because .. . get ready for it .... my nephew is getting married next year in Spain. It will undoubtedly be lovely and festive, but, here's the thing; actually, a few things:

1) Four ago he and his lovely wife were married in a small ceremony in beautiful New England during the glory of fall. This was during COVID, so the wedding guest list was limited to about 40 family members who could be relied on to take appropriate health precautions. DH and I attended with our three adult kids. The wedding was super fun with dancing until late into the night. A good time was had by all and nobody got COVID.

2) The wedding in Spain will be attended by most of the bride's family, who live there.

3) The wedding date coincides with a major work-related event for my daughter. She is the only one of us (my nuclear family) who actually wants to attend. DH and I and our other two kids have been planning other travel around the time of the wedding, though nothing is written in cement at this point, so we could go.

4) My sister, the MOG, has been a real PITA recently, annoying the heck out of our nuclear family for reasons that are not related to the wedding and which I will not go into here because that would then require me to take a long walk, touch grass and meditate on the intention of compassion. I am trying very hard to isolate this part of the equation and not make the decision about whether to attend focus on this.

Thoughts (and prayers) are welcome.

So go or don’t go. What’s the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, go or don’t go. What’s the big deal?

Seriously though I don’t understand.

Exactly. The drama! Though I laughed at the subject line.