Divorced men with second set of kids

[Anonymous]

I was surprised to find so many of these on the League and Hinge ! Men in their late 40s -mid 50s, with very young kids 2-9 yo. I went on dates with some of them (I’m a late 40s F). Ex-wives were 5-10 years younger than me and now the men were looking for a “stable” older woman who can co-parent. 1. One guy sold an IT company and married early 30s woman, had a baby and divorced after 5 years. His 1st marriage was 18 years long so he had 2 adult kids and a 4 yo 2. A late 40s man who never married but had a 2 yo baby he took from a vest young beautician exGF 3. A twice divorced 51 yo man with 6 yo daughter from a very high profile executive exW. They had a joint child in their 40s and the exW had 2 grown kids from prior marriage. She divorced him for drugs 4. A law partner 3 times divorced with young twins from last marriage and teen kids from 2bd . Adult kids from 1st. He just couldn’t stop getting married and making babies, like Musk.


It looks to me as if there is a whole new wave of second- and third divorces for successful professionally men. All these marriages were significantly shorter than 1st, which proves the statistics of large age gap being the risk for divorce.

Seriously, aren’t men able to learn from their first failed marriage ? And what their grown up kids think about all this ? Is it just me meeting them or there is a fairly large number of divorced men with 2nd set of kids ?

[Anonymous]

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Might just be you. I am the same age as you and haven't come across any men with young ex wives and young children.

That seems more like a trope or a sitcom than a reality. The number of men in their 50s who had second marriage to women 20 years younger, had a family and then divorced her is going to be quite low.

Given your life lesson at the end to "men". This seems more just like a post to promote misandry. Just like the ...all women, am I right posts by misogynistic men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Might just be you. I am the same age as you and haven't come across any men with young ex wives and young children.

That seems more like a trope or a sitcom than a reality. The number of men in their 50s who had second marriage to women 20 years younger, had a family and then divorced her is going to be quite low.

Given your life lesson at the end to "men". This seems more just like a post to promote misandry. Just like the ...all women, am I right posts by misogynistic men.

Trust me it’s not made up. This is in a large urban center not DC. I look pretty young for my age. Workout regularly, thin, tight body. Maybe they think if I’m super thin I would be a good match in bed like in younger exes. But roughly 70% of my dates are with this type.

[Anonymous]

And the men know it’s yaki so they don’t mention the second marriage or young kids when we chat . It comes out at dates

[Anonymous]

Red flag 🚩
Too many broken homes and kids

Ick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was surprised to find so many of these on the League and Hinge ! Men in their late 40s -mid 50s, with very young kids 2-9 yo. I went on dates with some of them (I’m a late 40s F). Ex-wives were 5-10 years younger than me and now the men were looking for a “stable” older woman who can co-parent. 1. One guy sold an IT company and married early 30s woman, had a baby and divorced after 5 years. His 1st marriage was 18 years long so he had 2 adult kids and a 4 yo 2. A late 40s man who never married but had a 2 yo baby he took from a vest young beautician exGF 3. A twice divorced 51 yo man with 6 yo daughter from a very high profile executive exW. They had a joint child in their 40s and the exW had 2 grown kids from prior marriage. She divorced him for drugs 4. A law partner 3 times divorced with young twins from last marriage and teen kids from 2bd . Adult kids from 1st. He just couldn’t stop getting married and making babies, like Musk.


It looks to me as if there is a whole new wave of second- and third divorces for successful professionally men. All these marriages were significantly shorter than 1st, which proves the statistics of large age gap being the risk for divorce.

Seriously, aren’t men able to learn from their first failed marriage ? And what their grown up kids think about all this ? Is it just me meeting them or there is a fairly large number of divorced men with 2nd set of kids ?

Why are you getting married entangled with people who already have two sets of issues on their plate?

[Anonymous]

The've done you g love, middle age flings, now dating for a nurse/nanny who looks socially presentable.

[Anonymous]

Ha, I was the second (okay, actually THIRD) wife in this situation. XH likes to start a new family every 10 years.

No, they don’t learn. They act like they do. CH had done years of therapy and knew all the right things to say - took ownership for his failed marriages, acted like a great father, etc.

I don’t know if it’s narcissism, or what, because xH seems like such a nice, great guy. Not in a flashy way, he seems like such a chill and humble man. And he seems to be a good dad. But there’s this weird undercurrent of his kids trying desperately to get his approval, and I know because I felt this strange feeling I needed his approval, too (hence getting married to someone I shouldn’t have). So they all disliked me, but still loved him, and they love our child, which is good.

I don’t know what it is with guys like him. Because he’s absolutely not the stereotype of rich, loud, a-hole, etc. He comes across as a real salt-of-the-earth type. But when you ask for more than bare minimum stuff, he just shuts down and doesn’t respond. It’s bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was surprised to find so many of these on the League and Hinge ! Men in their late 40s -mid 50s, with very young kids 2-9 yo. I went on dates with some of them (I’m a late 40s F). Ex-wives were 5-10 years younger than me and now the men were looking for a “stable” older woman who can co-parent. 1. One guy sold an IT company and married early 30s woman, had a baby and divorced after 5 years. His 1st marriage was 18 years long so he had 2 adult kids and a 4 yo 2. A late 40s man who never married but had a 2 yo baby he took from a vest young beautician exGF 3. A twice divorced 51 yo man with 6 yo daughter from a very high profile executive exW. They had a joint child in their 40s and the exW had 2 grown kids from prior marriage. She divorced him for drugs 4. A law partner 3 times divorced with young twins from last marriage and teen kids from 2bd . Adult kids from 1st. He just couldn’t stop getting married and making babies, like Musk.


It looks to me as if there is a whole new wave of second- and third divorces for successful professionally men. All these marriages were significantly shorter than 1st, which proves the statistics of large age gap being the risk for divorce.

Seriously, aren’t men able to learn from their first failed marriage ? And what their grown up kids think about all this ? Is it just me meeting them or there is a fairly large number of divorced men with 2nd set of kids ?

I think it might just be your algorithm, OP. I don’t believe your experiences or encounters are typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was surprised to find so many of these on the League and Hinge ! Men in their late 40s -mid 50s, with very young kids 2-9 yo. I went on dates with some of them (I’m a late 40s F). Ex-wives were 5-10 years younger than me and now the men were looking for a “stable” older woman who can co-parent. 1. One guy sold an IT company and married early 30s woman, had a baby and divorced after 5 years. His 1st marriage was 18 years long so he had 2 adult kids and a 4 yo 2. A late 40s man who never married but had a 2 yo baby he took from a vest young beautician exGF 3. A twice divorced 51 yo man with 6 yo daughter from a very high profile executive exW. They had a joint child in their 40s and the exW had 2 grown kids from prior marriage. She divorced him for drugs 4. A law partner 3 times divorced with young twins from last marriage and teen kids from 2bd . Adult kids from 1st. He just couldn’t stop getting married and making babies, like Musk.


It looks to me as if there is a whole new wave of second- and third divorces for successful professionally men. All these marriages were significantly shorter than 1st, which proves the statistics of large age gap being the risk for divorce.

Seriously, aren’t men able to learn from their first failed marriage ? And what their grown up kids think about all this ? Is it just me meeting them or there is a fairly large number of divorced men with 2nd set of kids ?

Why are you getting married entangled with people who already have two sets of issues on their plate?

I am not getting entangled. Did I mention I was dating any of them ? We had 1-2 dates when this stuff was disclosed.
I’m just sharing how many of them are apparently on the apps. Wonder what is other women’s experience, if anyone dated such a guy long term.
They are all rather wealthy so don’t need my money but did mentioned their ex was crazy, unemployed, had nothing in common with them . So they looked for a relative age peer now. I would be in between their 1st and 2nd wives by the age

[Anonymous]

This is my dad. I’m the eldest child. But I don’t have any helpful insights into why he is the way he is. Maybe some narcissism. Definitely wanted a “second chance.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Might just be you. I am the same age as you and haven't come across any men with young ex wives and young children.

That seems more like a trope or a sitcom than a reality. The number of men in their 50s who had second marriage to women 20 years younger, had a family and then divorced her is going to be quite low.

Given your life lesson at the end to "men". This seems more just like a post to promote misandry. Just like the ...all women, am I right posts by misogynistic men.

Man I encounter this a lot. I live in Denver and a memorable first date was with a trial lawyer here who was a bestie and hunting buddy of Scalia.

He lied about his age by ten years. (He was easy to dox after matching online so I saw his real age) When I asked him how old he really was he replied “mentally physically or spiritually? On his profile he listed having adult sons. First date I find out he also has a 2 year old with a different woman. He described that woman as a “gold digger” as if he bore no responsibility for who he stuck his aging peen in. I left the date (after paying the hefty bill because of COURSE republican old man liar picked an expensive steakhouse.) but I found it empowering to pay and get the heck away from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Might just be you. I am the same age as you and haven't come across any men with young ex wives and young children.

That seems more like a trope or a sitcom than a reality. The number of men in their 50s who had second marriage to women 20 years younger, had a family and then divorced her is going to be quite low.

Given your life lesson at the end to "men". This seems more just like a post to promote misandry. Just like the ...all women, am I right posts by misogynistic men.

Man I encounter this a lot. I live in Denver and a memorable first date was with a trial lawyer here who was a bestie and hunting buddy of Scalia.

He lied about his age by ten years. (He was easy to dox after matching online so I saw his real age) When I asked him how old he really was he replied “mentally physically or spiritually? On his profile he listed having adult sons. First date I find out he also has a 2 year old with a different woman. He described that woman as a “gold digger” as if he bore no responsibility for who he stuck his aging peen in. I left the date (after paying the hefty bill because of COURSE republican old man liar picked an expensive steakhouse.) but I found it empowering to pay and get the heck away from him.

OP here. My described experience is in Cleveland, Ohio. Also many republican and conservative types among these men.
I wouldn’t have paid for their steak, why did you not just leave and paid for yourself ?

[Anonymous]

I really think that people who have more kids with a second partner (who have not done a TON of work in therapy to deal with their own stuff and learn fully how to parent kids with different parents) just do not care about their children enough to prioritize them. They do not make good partners.