Sex on important dates

[Anonymous]

Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas. Does this happen in your relationship or you don’t worry about it?

[Anonymous]

Almost always but I don’t think about it.

[Anonymous]

+1

Intimacy with me is his favorite gift. Why wouldn’t I want to benefit from that.

[Anonymous]

Just September 3: Charlie Sheen Day.

[Anonymous]

I was really looking forward to sex on a milestone birthday but DH rejected me yet again. It was honestly heartbreaking, maybe one of the difficult days in my marriage. It was bad that he didn’t plan a dinner or cake or something, really didn’t plan anything and was just in a bad mood all day… but if he had pleased me sexually that would’ve been enough.

I definitely want sex more than he does in general and he rejects me often (but not always) but I felt like that day he should’ve indulged me and I actually thought he would. I go back to that day often when I think about what I want to do with my marriage, like I saw him in a new light. It’s been a few years so it’s not as raw it used to be, but I think it’s the kind of thing that will always be there.

[Anonymous]

It depends how the sex is otherwise in the relationship.

When I’m in a relationship that already has a fulfilling sex life, missing a birthday isn’t that big of a deal. Especially if it’s bc we went out late and are just tired.

But when sex is rare bc the other person doesn’t want it, no sex on an important date is just more proof they don’t want you, and it hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was really looking forward to sex on a milestone birthday but DH rejected me yet again. It was honestly heartbreaking, maybe one of the difficult days in my marriage. It was bad that he didn’t plan a dinner or cake or something, really didn’t plan anything and was just in a bad mood all day… but if he had pleased me sexually that would’ve been enough.


I definitely want sex more than he does in general and he rejects me often (but not always) but I felt like that day he should’ve indulged me and I actually thought he would. I go back to that day often when I think about what I want to do with my marriage, like I saw him in a new light. It’s been a few years so it’s not as raw it used to be, but I think it’s the kind of thing that will always be there.

How’s your marriage otherwise?

Is the rejection routine? Ugh

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about because I get it every other day.

[Anonymous]

Same - don't have expectations on any particular day because it's good overall

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas. Does this happen in your relationship or you don’t worry about it?

This is an indication of a bad sex life.

[Anonymous]

DH has long figured out the key to sex is to not make it an expectation. His “game” is to run me a hot bath. He will usually put in epson salts and top it off with bubbles. He makes sure my AirPods are charged. He then brings me a bottle of water and a glass of wine. He turns out the lights in the bathroom and walks away.

When I’m done he has changed the sheets on the bed. I climb into crisp cool sheets. He puts on one of my favorite shows and invites me to snuggle up to him. Sometimes I just crash but usually cuddling leads to kissing which leads to his end game.

[Anonymous]

Birthday, holiday, anniversary etc, there’s probably a 70% chance that we’re doing it but if one of us is going away on an airplane or a solo trip we are doing it the night before, it is nonnegotiable.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it because we have sex 2-3 times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has long figured out the key to sex is to not make it an expectation. His “game” is to run me a hot bath. He will usually put in epson salts and top it off with bubbles. He makes sure my AirPods are charged. He then brings me a bottle of water and a glass of wine. He turns out the lights in the bathroom and walks away.

When I’m done he has changed the sheets on the bed. I climb into crisp cool sheets. He puts on one of my favorite shows and invites me to snuggle up to him. Sometimes I just crash but usually cuddling leads to kissing which leads to his end game.

You sound exhausting. No man should have to put in that work just to have sex. I'd go get it elsewhere for a hell of a lot less effort.

[Anonymous]

We don't worry about it and we have alot of sex for people in our 60's married 40 years.