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DD14 wants fake nails. All of her friends have them. Acrylic nails? I know nothing about them because my job requires me to wear nitrile gloves frequently and I cant keep long nails. When she asked for acrylics I said I’d consider it, but saw how they destroy your nail bed and ultimately told her no. Then a friend told me about gel nails and I (foolishly) told her that was a possibility, but then heard that they can cause allergic reactions and maybe now even cancer? So I told her no, just no, don’t ask again, that’ll be her choice when she’s 18. But now she won’t let me forget that, at one point, I told her she could, and that I’m ruining her life because she’s the only one without nice nails. Also, she has no interest in simply getting a manicure.
Help me shut this down, please. I’ve tried everything and she still argues. |
| Just no. Repeat as often as necessary. You don’t need to keep giving reasons. |
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At some point, you have to tell her with absolutely deadly seriousness that this is your decision and you’re not going to change your mind. And if she keeps pestering you about it, X consequence will happen. (It’s up to you to figure out what that X is.) Tell her you understand she is disappointed, but this is just the way it is, and if she wants to get them on her 18th birthday, she is free to do it then.
Is she obsessed with beauty culture generally? I personally find those fake nails so gross. |
| All this over nails? Say thanks that you don’t have an actual issue with your kid. |
| Absolutely not. No gel, no acrylic, just regular nail polish only. She will get over it. |
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Getting gel manicures occasionally is not going to cause cancer. And anything you're allergic to can cause an allergic reaction -- presumably you don't forbid any potential allergen.
You need to pick your battles better. |
| Let her pay for them. |
| No. She waits until she is adult, end of discussion. Don't give in or let her discuss. |
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No. They are all bad for her health. You should do more research, understand it, then explain it to her. And then you should apologize for saying she could have the gel nails before you did your research. Finally, you should tell her that there will be times when you mess up like this, and you go back on your word - but those times will be for her own health and in her own interest, because you love her. And that henceforth, you will be more careful about doing your due diligence before authorizing things off-the-cuff.
It could be a moment where she grows up and realizes that sometimes her parent isn't perfect but always has her best interests at heart. |
| Would you consider letting her do glue ons/press ons? They are less damaging to the nail. |
| Is she asking for you to pay for them? Or jut asking your permission to get them in general? |
| She’s 14, so I would tell her this is an extra that if she wants it she has to pay for it. No 14 year old can afford to do this regularly so that it would truly be a health concern. I have found with my teen that by telling her she needs to pay for the extras she is a lot more choosy about how to allocate her money. |
| Acrylic nails require ongoing maintenance. Aside for potential health hazards, I told my daughter unless she is paying for it, I am not paying for her. Occasionally (before special events/vacations) she will get a gel polish manicure. |
Some of the press ons/glue actually look good! I actually used some for my wedding so my nails could all be the same shape and length and you couldn't tell they were fake. They even have them now with designs already on them. Definitely hold the line on the acrylic/gel nails. Not healthy for the nails. |
Don't use this argument. She will save up the money if she really wants them. Stay with the No for health reasons. |