Women in your 40s, what's your age limit filter set to?

[Anonymous]

New to this. Am 45 and was talking to my friends and when I told them I put 40-55 they thought it was crazy. Is mid-50s that old? I had not thought about it very much. For an LTR, what do you think makes sense? Why?

[Anonymous]

I prefer younger, but I mostly date for hooking up. Men over 40 tend to have less stamina and aren’t in as good of shape. However 20s-early 30s men tend to be bad communicators and don’t understand how dating works. I’ve found 35-40 is the sweet spot for me.

For a LTR I’d still prefer slightly younger. I’ve found I’m getting more energetic and outgoing as I age, while most men get more lethargic and want to stay home. So younger matches more with my lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

For me I didn't have sibling rules no younger than my youngest sibling and no older than my oldest sibling. At the time I was dating, it was 40 to 55. Met a good group of guys, including my Dh who was right in the middle of that range.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

I always side eye men and women who claim they' can't date close to their age because it;s "too old" probably because in my experience those people have been slightly vain and delusional.

Anyway, I'm 41, I tried to set the range so we'd likely have common developmental experiences and shared cultural touchpoints, so for me that was about 5 years younger and 5 years older. However, I've gotten matches outside of that range. My sweet spot tends to be within the range I selected in terms of connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids?

Yes, a tween. My friends are in their early to mid-40s so I guess 55 seems old to them and their DHs are already feeling "old" to them as they age with health conditions and just regular aging so they are projecting ahead 10-15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer younger, but I mostly date for hooking up. Men over 40 tend to have less stamina and aren’t in as good of shape. However 20s-early 30s men tend to be bad communicators and don’t understand how dating works. I’ve found 35-40 is the sweet spot for me.

For a LTR I’d still prefer slightly younger. I’ve found I’m getting more energetic and outgoing as I age, while most men get more lethargic and want to stay home. So younger matches more with my lifestyle.

Men do pick up more chronic conditions as they age than women.

[Anonymous]

At your age, I’d set it to 35-50.

[Anonymous]

40-55 max

[Anonymous]

I am late 40s. I don't set filters. I don't date for long term.

I have went on dates with 25-47. I have had long-term-ish situations I have ended with ages 33-36.

I would not date someone older than 50 in any scenario. I am not going to be a nurse with a purse and I if I am not going to remarry (which I won't), younger men are better.

Even my 92-year-old grandma at the time of divorce when I was 42 told me, "you need to be careful with older men." Many women date older and end of being a nurse maid. That is fine if you are married to them for 20+ years...it is not fine now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am late 40s. I don't set filters. I don't date for long term.

I have went on dates with 25-47. I have had long-term-ish situations I have ended with ages 33-36.

I would not date someone older than 50 in any scenario. I am not going to be a nurse with a purse and I if I am not going to remarry (which I won't), younger men are better.

Even my 92-year-old grandma at the time of divorce when I was 42 told me, "you need to be careful with older men." Many women date older and end of being a nurse maid. That is fine if you are married to them for 20+ years...it is not fine now.

Look at Emma Willis / @ 49, she has an 11-year-old, a 13-year-old, and a 70-year-old husband with dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New to this. Am 45 and was talking to my friends and when I told them I put 40-55 they thought it was crazy. Is mid-50s that old? I had not thought about it very much. For an LTR, what do you think makes sense? Why?

I would drop everything back 5 years - 35- 50 years of age. The stigma of younger men dating women older than them is much less now, and you won't be taking care of an old guy in your fifties.

[Anonymous]

I’m 42 and my filters are 37-49. I strongly prefer men within 3 years of my age, either way, and all of my lifelong relationships have fallen with that range. I’m retiring at 50 and fit relative to my peers, and would also like to avoid being homebound due to an aging spouse. My only kid goes off to college in a couple of years. I basically target divorced dads in a similar stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 42 and my filters are 37-49. I strongly prefer men within 3 years of my age, either way, and all of my lifelong relationships have fallen with that range. I’m retiring at 50 and fit relative to my peers, and would also like to avoid being homebound due to an aging spouse. My only kid goes off to college in a couple of years. I basically target divorced dads in a similar stage of life.

Divorced dads will have much younger kids than you. I’m 47 yo empty nester and most men in their 40s have kids in primary and middle school. Realistically professional men become empty nesters by mid 50s.
It’s a trade off between dating someone who is almost never available on weekends and an older man in his mid 50s.
I find it very problematic dating men jn 40-50s, so I do get it when women just go for younger single men hookups . Divorced older men with kids still at home don’t have much to offer and no time to build a relationship

[Anonymous]

People keep mentioning taking care of men as they get old. When do most men get "old" in your experience?