DH filed for divorce without discussion

[Anonymous]

We live in a state that does not mandate a separation period. DH and I have been having a very difficult time and he has had mental health struggles. He moved to a rental home we keep a few weeks ago to give us space.

He just emailed me that I will be receiving a divorce filing from his lawyer on Monday. On Friday at 4 pm. I do not have a lawyer and my child is home all week with me before school starts after Labor Day. He knows this.

We previously discussed mediation to determine how to set up a temporary separation or figuring out a longer term plan for fall. But I guess that is all off the table now and everything on my end going to have to be done via temporary orders?

And of course we relocated last year for his job even though I didn’t want to and I haven’t found a job yet and we just bought a house last November.

I’m going to faint.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. That's a lot.

[Anonymous]

This is for the best, OP. He has mental health issues and doesn't want to stay married. Why would you want to drag this out? You will get alimony since you moved for his job and haven't found a job. You need to get yourself a lawyer fast. Separate all joint accounts ASAP and borrow money from family if need be.

[Anonymous]

He has mental health issues and is cheating. What a POS.

Take some time once you get the papers. You know its coming, no surprise. Plan your route.

[Anonymous]

OP, after moving for an ex and then ending up in a far away state across the country (literally the farthest point I could possible live) I have been living a nightmare. If I could go back in time I would’ve consulted a lawyer immediately. It could’ve saved me a bunch of moves which have burned me - I thought going back to work, finding my own place that was bigger to fit my kids would help me but they haven’t. If I could back I would stay in the house and not work so I could collect alimony and child support. Please get a lawyer asap.

[Anonymous]

You need to find a job immediately. Given his mental health issues and the upheaval and stress of a divorce, his job may be precarious.
What kind of work were you doing up until the move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, after moving for an ex and then ending up in a far away state across the country (literally the farthest point I could possible live) I have been living a nightmare. If I could go back in time I would’ve consulted a lawyer immediately. It could’ve saved me a bunch of moves which have burned me - I thought going back to work, finding my own place that was bigger to fit my kids would help me but they haven’t. If I could back I would stay in the house and not work so I could collect alimony and child support. Please get a lawyer asap.

Thank you and I’m sorry. I’m so angry that he would tell me after business hours and when he knows I am caring for our child full-time this week with zero camps or sports practices. I’m furious. He knew exactly what he was doing.

[Anonymous]

Get a lawyer. Can you say what state you are in? In VA I was advised not to hurry up and get a job bc I was a stay at home mom who allowed my husband to be successful at his job. She said that it is standard that I get about 50% of his pay after taxes. Again this is in VA and I was married over 20 years.
I also had a sneak attack lawyer send me divorce papers. There is no worse feeling in the world. I wish I could hug you; it is so so hard.
Hang in there; if he is mentally unstable you are better off without him. And it sounds like he is either unstable or a complete A-hole.

[Anonymous]

Ehhh. Probably for the best.
Speak to a lawyer .. Get a job
Plan for the future.

[Anonymous]

If there is a joint checking account, you might take out a reasonable amount to enable you to consult a couple of lawyers and have living expenses for you and DC - just in case you DH decides to empty accounts.

I would print out all current statements on all accounts tonight. Also make copies of all pertinent legal and financial information.

You need to try to get into see a lawyer on Monday for how to proceed as soon as possible including having your lawyer serve your husband with a Pendente Lite request for spousal support and child support during the divorce process. And to send legal notice not to try and empty out joint accounts. He obviously set you up with no notice.

[Anonymous]

Prediction: he moved there for a woman, not a job. Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prediction: he moved there for a woman, not a job. Ask me how I know!

Doubt he would've bought the house if that's the case.

[Anonymous]

Get a phone consult with a lawyer and put the kid in front of the tv for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to find a job immediately. Given his mental health issues and the upheaval and stress of a divorce, his job may be precarious.
What kind of work were you doing up until the move?

Opposite of precarious. He has a huge promotion getting press released after Labor Day but already accounted for in his pay grade and title as of last week. Extensive deferred compensation, etc. God help me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to find a job immediately. Given his mental health issues and the upheaval and stress of a divorce, his job may be precarious.
What kind of work were you doing up until the move?

Opposite of precarious. He has a huge promotion getting press released after Labor Day but already accounted for in his pay grade and title as of last week. Extensive deferred compensation, etc. God help me.

What state? How long have you been married?