WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes

[Anonymous]

In September, some of my relatives will gather in a European country to attend a public ceremony marking an event in which my ancestor played a role. My adult kid will attend. My husband and I cannot attend, but I was wondering if my high schooler should go. She has lived in the US all her life and has the least connection to our European history. I feel this would help her understand her origins.

The problem is that she picked a very serious load of classes for 10th grade and she's going to be stressed out about missing a week of school, and might hate traveling to Europe by herself (she'd be picked up at the airport by her brother and relatives, of course).

But this event is not likely to re-occur. The head of the family who invited us is elderly and in poor health. It might be her only chance at meeting him at his best (tasked with this public presentation, he loves those).

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

I’d have her go. Communicate with her teachers as soon as you can to help mitigate any issues, but I wouldn’t have her miss this.

Part of my thinking here is that I missed a literal once-in-a-lifetime family reunion in Europe because I was a broke recent college grad and my dad wouldn’t help fund the trip. Nothing like it ever happened again and forty years later I still think it was a stupid decision on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d have her go. Communicate with her teachers as soon as you can to help mitigate any issues, but I wouldn’t have her miss this.

Part of my thinking here is that I missed a literal once-in-a-lifetime family reunion in Europe because I was a broke recent college grad and my dad wouldn’t help fund the trip. Nothing like it ever happened again and forty years later I still think it was a stupid decision on his part.

Pp here. I also think you should move mountains to go yourself.

[Anonymous]

Does she want to go? Is she interested? If she really wants to go I'd help make it happen, but if she's reluctant, I wouldn't push it. It will be a huge pain to make up all the school work and it will be a tiring trip for her.

[Anonymous]

send the kid. she'll be all right.

[Anonymous]

Livestream it

[Anonymous]

Let her decide.

[Anonymous]

Seems odd that neither you and your husband can’t make something so important but you want to send your busy high schooler. Plus it sounds like she’s not that keen anyway. Let her stay home. The other adult going can record the ceremony to share with the family.

[Anonymous]

can*

[Anonymous]

Leave it up to her. It can’t be that important if you aren’t even going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems odd that neither you and your husband can’t make something so important but you want to send your busy high schooler. Plus it sounds like she’s not that keen anyway. Let her stay home. The other adult going can record the ceremony to share with the family.

OP here. Not odd - we're applying for our green card and are not allowed to leave the US while it's processing. Otherwise I'd go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her decide.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't know, a public presentation by a sick elderly person she feels no connection to might not be meaningful to her, no matter how much you wish it were.

[Anonymous]

I’d let her decide, only because that’s a big trip to take without parents.

[Anonymous]

There’d be no way I’d want my high schooler to miss a week of school (and he wouldn’t want to either). That’s a lot to miss. Then, what is she gets Covid or som other illness upon return? Not worth it.