Left TJ

[Anonymous]

Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

[Anonymous]

Why would you say anything unless they bring it up? If they mention it, you use their reaction as a guide, and keep it positive (bc, frankly, it probably is a good move!) “it sounds like you’ve found a better fit at the local school, and how wonderful to have an easier commute, neighborhood kids, etc.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

When I heard you got in, I knew you had to try. But I'm glad you're back, we missed you.

[Anonymous]

The thread is totally nuts. Just ask the kid about how he is enjoying his summer so far. He doesn’t owe you an explanation for why he’s leaving TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Right.... hard to imagine that not everyone thinks like you. Lemme guess OP is a troll in your mind. OR, maybe there is many good students leaving TJ for the same reason my kid did. Certainly, I know many outstanding kids who didn't apply.

[Anonymous]

Really?
Do you have to create a new thread just for that question?
Or do you have any other intention?

There is already 27 TJ bashing threads already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Thank you for exhibiting the exact lack of social skills referenced. You and OP both are low in that area, perhaps it is your kids that give the school the bad reputation for social skills...

OP - it's appropriate to say nothing. Maybe Sanjay is sad that Said is leaving. And drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Thank you for exhibiting the exact lack of social skills referenced. You and OP both are low in that area, perhaps it is your kids that give the school the bad reputation for social skills...

OP - it's appropriate to say nothing. Maybe Sanjay is sad that Said is leaving. And drop it.

NP. I agree with the "things that didn't happen" poster.

High school isn't preschool. SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Thank you for exhibiting the exact lack of social skills referenced. You and OP both are low in that area, perhaps it is your kids that give the school the bad reputation for social skills...

OP - it's appropriate to say nothing. Maybe Sanjay is sad that Said is leaving. And drop it.

NP. I agree with the "things that didn't happen" poster.

High school isn't preschool. SMH

+1
As a TJ parent, I am quite involve in my kid ECs as volunteer… and I still barely know any parents, let alone say “ I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. ”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thread is totally nuts. Just ask the kid about how he is enjoying his summer so far. He doesn’t owe you an explanation for why he’s leaving TJ.

This and certainly do not raise his choice of school as a topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Right.... hard to imagine that not everyone thinks like you. Lemme guess OP is a troll in your mind. OR, maybe there is many good students leaving TJ for the same reason my kid did. Certainly, I know many outstanding kids who didn't apply.

It's hard to imagine parents spending that much time together and it's especially hard imagining TJ parents being "braggy" about their TJ freshmen.

This is just somebody that wants to accuse TJ kids of cheating and TJ parents of being horrible people. They want to explain to themselves why their kid isn't getting good grades (because everybody else cheats) and why their kids are less accomplished (because other parents their kids like who projects).

[Anonymous]

People change schools for all kinds of reasons. It doesn’t mean they can’t keep up academically. My kid went to a center school for a while and hated the fierce competition and superior attitude, so went back to the base school. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Right.... hard to imagine that not everyone thinks like you. Lemme guess OP is a troll in your mind. OR, maybe there is many good students leaving TJ for the same reason my kid did. Certainly, I know many outstanding kids who didn't apply.

It's hard to imagine parents spending that much time together and it's especially hard imagining TJ parents being "braggy" about their TJ freshmen.

This is just somebody that wants to accuse TJ kids of cheating and TJ parents of being horrible people. They want to explain to themselves why their kid isn't getting good grades (because everybody else cheats) and why their kids are less accomplished (because other parents their kids like who projects).

What would these parents even brag about?

There are kids at TJ winning regeneron awards, qualifying for USAMO and going to MOP camp, academic Olympiads, national debate and writing achievements. Are there enough TJ freshman that are accomplished enough to create a cadre of "braggy" parents in THAT environment?