Did I go to far?
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Anonymous
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My gf, who I thought was the one, I was broke up Sunday.
It started when she came home from a trip Saturday night. She walked in on the phone, told her friend she’d call her back, and we greeted each other with a kiss. This is where this issue started according to her. I was watching the game and asked her at the same time how things went. According to her she started answering me and I started yelling at the screen during the game. She went to my room and called her friend back. Later that night she told me how she knew before she got home that the game was on so she knew I was going to be into the game despite not seeing each other for a week. I told her she’s been dating me all this time and knows how much I like basketball so what was the issue. She said she was still hoping it worked be different when she came home. I asked her why she expected me to drop everything to entertain her. Also let her know that she wasn’t all over me either when she came in. We seemingly get it over or so I thought. She has been quiet and somewhat distant all night. The next morning, I kiss her and tell her I love her. She looks at me said how she’s worried about how we’re so different we are (we are different) and if it’ll work long term because we have different languages and seem to keep missing each other (not understanding one another). I told her that she’d need learn my language and I’d learn hers. She seemed oaky at that point and said last night was one of those times where it seemed like we were speaking different languages. Admittedly I got a little irritated because I thought we had moved past this. I asked her if she had heard of pick your battles. She said last night was an example of a bigger issue for her. How she feels like I don’t want to be bothered. That she wants to be all over me physically sometimes but holds back because she thinks I don’t want to be bothered. I reiterated how she wasn’t all over me and didn’t give me “I miss you” energy when she came home either. She said I hear you. I said she’s looking to be entertained 24/7 and how that reminded me of my ex wife. She said if both us felt the same way then maybe it’s not a her problem but that I have this aloofness about me that gives off the energy that I don’t want to be bothered. She went on to say she didn’t have this issue before (I guess wanting/needing so much attention) with the other men that she’s dated. This kind of ticked me off (I’m trying to be honest here about how I was feeling to get honest feedback). I told her that they probably were just too pu$$y to tell her. How she’s 34 and never been married or proposed to, so clearly there was a reason why they didn’t want to marry her. To which she said she was the one who broke up with them. I sarcastically said, “You’re just so perfect. Men bad. Women good, right?”. I then told her to please go back to them because I’m sure that they’re dying to have her back. She said that she would and that they do. At that point she started to get up an walk away. I told her please add me to the list of men that she’s broken up with because clearly that’s what she wanted to do that morning anyways and to let me know if she needed help packing. After she left I noticed she didn’t leave the key and I saw her rings on the side of the bed. I sent a picture of the rings asking her to confirm if she wanted them. She said I could trash them and she’d mail me the key. I told it was okay that she could trash it. Did I go too far? |
Anonymous
| Lot of OP troll posts all at once Op. |
Anonymous
| You told her to break up with you after she asked for you to show happiness after not seeing her for a week and she'd expressed it hurt her feelings. So she did, and now you're upset? You don't deserve her. |
Anonymous
| you hit the pause button. I'm assuming you will be the same with kids someday. Don't bother dad when the game is on but go grab him a beer. |
Anonymous
| Learn to prioritize people over games millionaires who will never know you play on tv. |
Anonymous
Doesn’t everyone deserve some me time? |
Anonymous
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YTA. Did you even like her? You couldn’t pause the game for 2m? You asked her questions and then instead of listening you started yelling at the tv? You got irritated when she tried to communicate? You think a partner wanting to feel connected to you is “needing to be entertained”? You, a divorced man, tried to age and marital status shame her?
You have a very transactional view of relationships it seems. Do you often fall into a tit for tat pattern? You don’t seem to have learned much from your divorce. If you only want a woman who is seen and not heard,l that you don’t have to “entertain” (aka pay attention to), maybe a sex worker would be a better fit. |
Anonymous
| She wants a pet not a partner. |
Anonymous
You had all week w/o her. |
Anonymous
+1 she realized this guy isn’t a good partner, let alone father material. |
Anonymous
True. There was only 10 minutes left in the game? We’ve been dating all this time and now it’s an issue? |
Anonymous
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Op, you are not only the AH, you are condescending and immature. How can you say you thought she was the one if you can turn around and snap like that and speak to her with such disdain?
My gf, who I thought was the one I asked her why she expected me to drop everything to entertain her Admittedly I got a little irritated I asked her if she had heard of pick your battles. I reiterated how she wasn’t all over me and didn’t give me “I miss you” energy I said she’s looking to be entertained 24/7 and how that reminded me of my ex wife. . I told her that they probably were just too pu$$y to tell her. How she’s 34 and never been married or proposed to, so clearly there was a reason why they didn’t want to marry her . I sarcastically said, “You’re just so perfect. Men bad. Women good, right?”. I then told her to please go back to them because I’m sure that they’re dying to have her back. |
Anonymous
| Consider yourself lucky she’s a nut case and you dodged a bullet. |
Anonymous
If you’d rather yell at the tv than greet your gf who’s been gone for a week it doesn’t seem like you’re that into her. |
Anonymous
| No OP, you did her a favor by helping her walk out the door. Sounds like she's been over you for a long time, OP. If you want a relationship, maybe find someone who loves watching sports on TV as much as you do so you don't have this ongoing issue. |