Restart sex life

[Anonymous]

Due to some relationship and health issues spouse and I have not been together more than two or three times over the past two years, kissing is down to once every couple of weeks and the tingles just aren’t there. We want to try and bring things back but it’s awkward.

Anyone bring their sex life back from the dead? Both parties are willing and wanting this to work.

[Anonymous]

Nike came up with the solution for you.

[Anonymous]

Snuggle. Don't even think about each other's naughty bits, just snuggle. On the couch watching TV or reading; in bed before sleeping and when you wake up. Go for maximum physical contact, like you're a baby sloth. Once you've reacquainted yourselves with routine touch, start to fantasize privately while you're snuggling. You can reconnect your body and your mind this way. Fantasize about whatever; doesn't have to be your spouse, just something that reliably gets your blood flowing while holding each other. If you're not feeling frisky for each other within a week or two, well, you've only lost a week or two. And then it might be time to talk to a pro. But definitely do hold yourself open to that possibility. You should be having sex. Sex is nice. Don't wait forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Snuggle. Don't even think about each other's naughty bits, just snuggle. On the couch watching TV or reading; in bed before sleeping and when you wake up. Go for maximum physical contact, like you're a baby sloth. Once you've reacquainted yourselves with routine touch, start to fantasize privately while you're snuggling. You can reconnect your body and your mind this way. Fantasize about whatever; doesn't have to be your spouse, just something that reliably gets your blood flowing while holding each other. If you're not feeling frisky for each other within a week or two, well, you've only lost a week or two. And then it might be time to talk to a pro. But definitely do hold yourself open to that possibility. You should be having sex. Sex is nice. Don't wait forever.

Thank you! Did you revive yours like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Snuggle. Don't even think about each other's naughty bits, just snuggle. On the couch watching TV or reading; in bed before sleeping and when you wake up. Go for maximum physical contact, like you're a baby sloth. Once you've reacquainted yourselves with routine touch, start to fantasize privately while you're snuggling. You can reconnect your body and your mind this way. Fantasize about whatever; doesn't have to be your spouse, just something that reliably gets your blood flowing while holding each other. If you're not feeling frisky for each other within a week or two, well, you've only lost a week or two. And then it might be time to talk to a pro. But definitely do hold yourself open to that possibility. You should be having sex. Sex is nice. Don't wait forever.

Thank you! Did you revive yours like this?

We go through phases. And yes, when I feel like it's dragged on too long, this is how we get back on track.

The worst thing for any intimate relationship is The Flinch. You know, when your partner touches you for any reason, and you reflexively pull back, even though you're not mad and it wasn't necessarily surprising or for any real reason other than that you don't want to be touched. And it happens so naturally. You lose the habit of touching and being touched, and the next think you know, you're flinching. Gotta stay in practice, or at least be willing to recondition when life gets in the way of long-term intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to some relationship and health issues spouse and I have not been together more than two or three times over the past two years, kissing is down to once every couple of weeks and the tingles just aren’t there. We want to try and bring things back but it’s awkward.

Anyone bring their sex life back from the dead? Both parties are willing and wanting this to work.

Start with watching a good erotic movie together on a Friday evening; have a drink or two to relax if necessary.

[Anonymous]

What kind of shape are you guys in? We were never in quite your situation, but getting in better shape together helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to some relationship and health issues spouse and I have not been together more than two or three times over the past two years, kissing is down to once every couple of weeks and the tingles just aren’t there. We want to try and bring things back but it’s awkward.

Anyone bring their sex life back from the dead? Both parties are willing and wanting this to work.

my husband and i didn't grow apart as much as you but my generally low libido drove us apart. "just do it" was the route we took and it's done wonders. we had a major life stressor and it wasn't sexy at all but i started to make a point to sleep with him often in search of a way for at day's to take the edge off and prepare for tomorrow. now after 2 months of really making time to be together often even if it means losing out on much needed sleep, it's done wonders to fix what was broken.

i get that it may be awkward for you both at first and for a while, but i think you just need to used to each other again. to break old habits and grow new ones.

maybe because of the way DH and I have gone about it, our sex life isn't sexy really. but it's really better than anything I've ever experienced, orgasms like clock work. After 2 months we've developed healthy sex habits to stay close similar to going for long walks, slowing down to share a meal or close conversations. and with this new habitat, every day is so much better. just in general ability to deal with daily stress has improved so much from knowing that we have solid walls at home. so i really can't recommend it enough to really stay on it and fix your sex life whatever it takes.

[Anonymous]

I’m in this situation too. I’m fit, spouse is not. Kind of acknowledges wanting to lose weight, but I think to be attracted again at this age now, that’s not going to cut it. They need to get fit, not just lose 30lbs for me to be attracted to them. I’m scared it’s dead and we’ll end up in even worse trouble. I can’t be done with intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Take a couple gummies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this situation too. I’m fit, spouse is not. Kind of acknowledges wanting to lose weight, but I think to be attracted again at this age now, that’s not going to cut it. They need to get fit, not just lose 30lbs for me to be attracted to them. I’m scared it’s dead and we’ll end up in even worse trouble. I can’t be done with intimacy.

If you can’t be done with intimacy and you want your marriage, you need to reframe your thinking about her. Obviously she’s not about to “get fit” whatever that means to you. Attraction is mental, not physical. Figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a couple gummies.

this works wonders!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this situation too. I’m fit, spouse is not. Kind of acknowledges wanting to lose weight, but I think to be attracted again at this age now, that’s not going to cut it. They need to get fit, not just lose 30lbs for me to be attracted to them. I’m scared it’s dead and we’ll end up in even worse trouble. I can’t be done with intimacy.

If you can’t be done with intimacy and you want your marriage, you need to reframe your thinking about her. Obviously she’s not about to “get fit” whatever that means to you. Attraction is mental, not physical. Figure it out.

Lol. As much as we may wish this to be true, it simply isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to some relationship and health issues spouse and I have not been together more than two or three times over the past two years, kissing is down to once every couple of weeks and the tingles just aren’t there. We want to try and bring things back but it’s awkward.

Anyone bring their sex life back from the dead? Both parties are willing and wanting this to work.

Viagra

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Snuggle. Don't even think about each other's naughty bits, just snuggle. On the couch watching TV or reading; in bed before sleeping and when you wake up. Go for maximum physical contact, like you're a baby sloth. Once you've reacquainted yourselves with routine touch, start to fantasize privately while you're snuggling. You can reconnect your body and your mind this way. Fantasize about whatever; doesn't have to be your spouse, just something that reliably gets your blood flowing while holding each other. If you're not feeling frisky for each other within a week or two, well, you've only lost a week or two. And then it might be time to talk to a pro. But definitely do hold yourself open to that possibility. You should be having sex. Sex is nice. Don't wait forever.

Oh god what kind of person older than twelves uses the phrase naughty bits