When your husband sleeps like a baby bc you’re the keeper of all the things

Anonymous
Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.


Yes...now awake at 3:55am as an example.
Anonymous
How old is your child/children? Are they special needs that requires extra tasks and appointments? Can anything be delegated to your DH? We read about this problem frequently on this board. You need to remember that once you delegate, you lose some control.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.


Yes...now awake at 3:55am as an example.


Same
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.


Yes...now awake at 3:55am as an example.


Same


+3 at one point when one dc wandered into our room this dark “morning” they said “is everyone awake.” (Meaning other siblings me and grandma who lives with us)

I responded “everyone but dad”
Anonymous
This is a strange thread. I think it is more personality driven. My DH sleeps well, but he always has. He’s not one to toss and turn worrying about things although he does more than 50% around the house and with the kids. I worry, but that is just who I am. I can’t blame him for lack of sleep.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is a strange thread. I think it is more personality driven. My DH sleeps well, but he always has. He’s not one to toss and turn worrying about things although he does more than 50% around the house and with the kids. I worry, but that is just who I am. I can’t blame him for lack of sleep.


+1. Your husband isn't causing your insomnia.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a strange thread. I think it is more personality driven. My DH sleeps well, but he always has. He’s not one to toss and turn worrying about things although he does more than 50% around the house and with the kids. I worry, but that is just who I am. I can’t blame him for lack of sleep.


+1. Your husband isn't causing your insomnia.


Agreed, my kids and gender norms are. They are all sick and don’t call out for their Dad even though he isn’t working today. They come into our room in the middle of the night and ask for me. This starts at conception.

When I am sleep deprived at work know why: Gender norms in our country are toxic for women.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a strange thread. I think it is more personality driven. My DH sleeps well, but he always has. He’s not one to toss and turn worrying about things although he does more than 50% around the house and with the kids. I worry, but that is just who I am. I can’t blame him for lack of sleep.


+1. Your husband isn't causing your insomnia.


Agreed, my kids and gender norms are. They are all sick and don’t call out for their Dad even though he isn’t working today. They come into our room in the middle of the night and ask for me. This starts at conception.

When I am sleep deprived at work know why: Gender norms in our country are toxic for women.


You're such a martyr and we're all Very Impressed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.


I did, until I dumped him. I figured if I was going to be carrying all the family's weight, the family's weight would be lighter w/o having to carry a grown man.

And it is. And I sleep better now, too.
Anonymous
Why are you carrying all the weight? I sleep well because DH shares all those responsibilities. What happens when you talk to him about this?
Anonymous

Your husband isn't pulling his weight in your marriage.. Revisit that with him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is a strange thread. I think it is more personality driven. My DH sleeps well, but he always has. He’s not one to toss and turn worrying about things although he does more than 50% around the house and with the kids. I worry, but that is just who I am. I can’t blame him for lack of sleep.


+1

This is my DH exactly. There are times (I'm a little embarrassed to admit--and work hard to make sure I don't fall into this often) where he will have had a really bad day with work, I've had a hard day but can't seem to function, and DH steps in and does all of his and my evening jobs with house and kids. He just compartmentalizes and also has a ton more energy than I have. Plus, he is glass half full kind of person, where I can easily fall into a glass half empty person. And at night, he falls asleep quickly and easily. I thank my lucky stars every single day for him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Anyone else have this? You have the greater professional stress and the greater administrative and child related stress so you’re constantly tossing/ turning and generally not resting as well. It makes me insane.


That sounds like a you problem. I mean that kindly.

See a therapist for your anxiety. Drugs might help.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Your husband isn't pulling his weight in your marriage.. Revisit that with him.


When you choose to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s not a solution to demand someone else share that burden. It can be more helpful to find ways to reduce the amount of weight you choose to carry. Oftentimes that weight is things you cannot control.
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