Is this emotionally abusive/mean ?

[Anonymous]

Im the OP that posted before but this time I have a very specific question

I live at home in my 20’s and when I tell my mom that Im probably going to move out if she continues to try and control me she says ” And where would you go 😂?”

I added the laughing emoji because she laughs / smiles when she says that.

Any other parent would encourage me. When she says that I feel incapable. Sometimes she’ll say how Im so capable and have potential in life. Other days she says shit like that. And anytime I confront her about it she gets upset, goes outside for an hour, comes back and is cold

[Anonymous]

Sounds like very controlling behavior, yes. May I ask why you are still at home? Is this because of work/money or social challenges?

[Anonymous]

Or today, I saw some never seen before pics of my dad in his youth and cried. My dad is alive but I still got emotional. And she asked my why im crying. One time I had just woken up and she said my nose looked like a potato.
Another time I had overplucked my brows and she said its too much.

Im sorry but as a mom you just dont get away with this shit. You just dont. It leaves emotional scars.
She doesnt get to tell me I shouldnt be insecure when she has done things like that.

And she always says how she does 1000 good things and 1 bad thing and I harp on the bad thing. Well your bad thing was talking about my looks and not knowing how to deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like very controlling behavior, yes. May I ask why you are still at home? Is this because of work/money or social challenges?

I can afford to live on my own. But I play peacemaker. Like as we speak right now my mom is going on a tangent and all of us are taking it cause were used to it.

If i dont live here my mom wont talk to anyone. She constantly says she doesnt know what she would do without me. And that shes so happy that i live at home. Thats not okay because it gives me a burden of not living my life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im the OP that posted before but this time I have a very specific question

What's important is not whether we can label a specific action as abusive, but how it makes you feel. I understand that there might be reasons that you're living at home in your 20s, but I hope you can make a plan to get away from a living situation with people (your parents) who make you feel bad about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Do you speak to any kind of therapist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like very controlling behavior, yes. May I ask why you are still at home? Is this because of work/money or social challenges?

I can afford to live on my own. But I play peacemaker. Like as we speak right now my mom is going on a tangent and all of us are taking it cause were used to it.

If i dont live here my mom wont talk to anyone. She constantly says she doesnt know what she would do without me. And that shes so happy that i live at home. Thats not okay because it gives me a burden of not living my life

It is not worth your happiness to play peacemaker for others. Be kind to yourself even if they won't. (Maybe especially if they won't!) Don't waste your life being a martyr for others.

[Anonymous]

Get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Either get therapy, move out, or stop whining.

[Anonymous]

Please keep all your issues in one thread. We don't need a bunch of threads started by the same person. Stop threatening your mom with moving out. If you want to move, just go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either get therapy, move out, or stop whining.

Go eff yourself. I have always been an incredibly helpful kind child and have always stayed out of trouble. I do not deserve to feel this way and suffer like this. Especially not since I was a child.

Im not whining. I am someone who is breaking down emotionally. I definitely did not ask for advice from someone like YOU

[Anonymous]

Sincerely, could your mom have borderline personality disorder? I recommend you read Walking on Eggshells and see how familiar it sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please keep all your issues in one thread. We don't need a bunch of threads started by the same person. Stop threatening your mom with moving out. If you want to move, just go.

I will make as many threads as I want. If its a problem the mods will remove them.

My intention was clearly not to spam this site .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sincerely, could your mom have borderline personality disorder? I recommend you read Walking on Eggshells and see how familiar it sounds.

She has something for sure. She only gets like this though when I confront her. I, the youngest.

I dont know why

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either get therapy, move out, or stop whining.

Go eff yourself. I have always been an incredibly helpful kind child and have always stayed out of trouble. I do not deserve to feel this way and suffer like this. Especially not since I was a child.

Im not whining. I am someone who is breaking down emotionally. I definitely did not ask for advice from someone like YOU

That's some irony, telling someone how you are incredibly kind and helpful while telling them to eff off.

You sound like a petulant, nasty little girl who does need to stop whining and grow up. Doesn't seem likely though based on your other responses to people.

--NP