Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 17 years of being at home, I’d never heard a mom say the title of the OP, even to a group of only SAHMs. I think this is all happening inside OP’s own anxiety.

It happens on this board constantly!

I’m talking about the real world where we actually live. Not a snarky anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

You don’t need to miss them. I didn’t. Just get a remote or hybrid job. I don’t get why this is still a conversation in 2024

You don’t have calls, meetings and deadlines? My husband works remotely and there are still milestones and events he misses due to working. He can’t spend all day with us. It doesn’t make him an uninvolved parent but your comment makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might be based in nothing, but my gut tells me my kid’s high school teachers are going to be more influential than their daycare teachers. There are times in life when kids are seeking influence.

Nope.

They might have 1 teacher who they like/respect but influence not really. I’d say a coach has more influence but still that influence fades away quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

You don’t need to miss them. I didn’t. Just get a remote or hybrid job. I don’t get why this is still a conversation in 2024

Because my kids weren’t born yesterday. No regrets about not going to the office instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

You don’t need to miss them. I didn’t. Just get a remote or hybrid job. I don’t get why this is still a conversation in 2024

Because my kids weren’t born yesterday. No regrets about not going to the office instead.

And still most kids were on average in care 27 hours a week including a babysitter to go out on date might.

You must know all the parents that use 45 hours of day care and I know all the ones that use 15 hours of nanny help.

I only know 1 person that used that much care. I know 1 more that had 2 nanny’s but that was because one was a surgeon and could be called out when the other was elsewhere with a kid.

You just imagined something to make you feel better about your decision, just feel good about it without all the justifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

I’m happy with my choices. You don’t seem happy with yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

I’m happy with my choices. You don’t seem happy with yours.

+1. Agree. This one poster seems very resentful of SAHMs. The lady doth protest too much me thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

DP. You are working so hard to build and defeat these straw men, just because actually engaging with the actual argument is so scary.

My DH missed out DD's first steps and he still talks about how sad he was to not be there. It's been a decade. To him it is some comfort that I was there for those firsts and made sure to involve him as well as I could so they weren't just happening with a nanny or at a daycare. He feels real pride that we could live on his salary alone during those years so that DD could be with a parent instead of paid care.

[Anonymous]

Im not reading 85 pages but of course its mean snarky and judgmental. Don’t use that phrase, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

I’m happy with my choices. You don’t seem happy with yours.

Another lie you must tell yourself to feel good about your decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

DP. You are working so hard to build and defeat these straw men, just because actually engaging with the actual argument is so scary.

My DH missed out DD's first steps and he still talks about how sad he was to not be there. It's been a decade. To him it is some comfort that I was there for those firsts and made sure to involve him as well as I could so they weren't just happening with a nanny or at a daycare. He feels real pride that we could live on his salary alone during those years so that DD could be with a parent instead of paid care.

I mean this just seems to be about his own issues. A decade later??

And the pride part - would feel gross to me, sorry. Because we could have done the same but didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d say anyone who makes the claim that they stay home because they didn’t want someone to raise their kids wasn’t really cut out to advance in a career. They believe they can’t manage others to do what they want and they have to do everything themselves for it to be effective. This mentality is effective early in careers, but management is selected from the group who can trust their team, lead, and delegate. Someone who believes their lack of presence means they aren’t doing something are too insecure to be a good manager. So perhaps their DIY skills and micromanaging approach are better applied managing a household.

We’ve focused our energy to hiring good help and putting our children in high quality centers. We’ve quickly made adjustments when things aren’t working and we trust the people/orgs we’ve vetted and hired until we have a reason not to.

I also think people who find either child rearing or maintaining employment the most challenging are the most likely to pick one or the other. Some people just don’t find it that hard to raise kids while working. It can certainly be hard at times, but from what I’ve observed there are certain types of people who are incredibly challenged and some aren’t challenged at all. And many people along the spectrum in between.

Glad we heard from the resident middle manager who is quick to claim credit but slow to do any of the actual… work. Either at her job or at home, apparently.

Bet she gets paid a ton to “delegate” while adding little to any actual value, and the size of her paycheck makes her think her opinion matters

Getting a paycheck that grows over time is the point. If that happens, mission accomplished. Being an effective manager is really about doing what you need to make more money. Every worker is doing it for the money. If they say they aren’t, they’re lying. So yeah, I get paid a ton to delegate and I don’t care what you think because you sound jealous and I get paid a ton.

Not missing out on so many milestones and firsts was priceless.

Firsts are stupid. Kids 1st rollover usually happen at night in the crib, bed you see the 2nd one.. Nobody is missing a milestone except those deployed for months .

Y’all are wrapping yourself in knots for silly stuff.

When you have 2 kids and your h takes one to a game and you take the other you’ll miss the 1st basket or the 1st goal etc. it’s no big deal

It’s ok if you don’t care. Lots disagree with you.

Did you seek therapy when your child rolled over without you seeing it.

DP. You are working so hard to build and defeat these straw men, just because actually engaging with the actual argument is so scary.

My DH missed out DD's first steps and he still talks about how sad he was to not be there. It's been a decade. To him it is some comfort that I was there for those firsts and made sure to involve him as well as I could so they weren't just happening with a nanny or at a daycare. He feels real pride that we could live on his salary alone during those years so that DD could be with a parent instead of paid care.

No he doesn’t still talk about it a decade later ffs. You sound insane trying to pretend it’s even a thing. Or maybe that’s the best thing your kid did in a decade so yea that’s all you’ve got.

Again perhaps I missed one or two and mostly because my H was there for them.

I couldn’t even tell you which ones he was there for .

My h missed my son winning a national championship in college due to Covid and he doesn’t even talk about missing it .., it was on tv so.

No we didn’t miss every 1sts. Another fantasy story you need to make up in your head to feel better about yourself.