SATC Rewatch: Why does everyone hate Carrie?

[Anonymous]

Some hot takes:

Misogynistic Hate of Carrie:

Upon my rewatch, now in my late thirties, I have so much empathy for poor Carrie! She was stuck in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic man who kept her at arms length. She was not perfect and found it difficult to break away from their trauma bond. Why do us women hate her so much for not being perfect or making perfect decisions? This is a larger conversation about the perfectionism we hold women to. Why cannot we appreciate a complex, immature woman who makes bad decisions?

Aiden actually WAS a good fit for her:

Also the happiest we have seen her with a man on the show is Aiden. She is so relaxed and comfortable and safe and happy. He fits in with her friends, she is a regular NYer having fun with her friends and her boyfriend. Their friendship group is cute!

With Big...they never had a real relationship. He was sleeping with her and viewed her from a casual lens and she kept overanalyzing their interactions trying to fit them into early stages of a real romantic relationship.

The only reason she turns down Aiden is due to extreme PTSD from the mistreatment from Big and low self esteem

Charlotte and Trey:

I think Charlotte was being hysterical and called it quits too soon in her marriage. Trey felt overwhelmed with the infertility and wanted some time to feel normal again but she was steamrolling him in her race to have a baby!

[Anonymous]

Carrie is the most entitled character that thought so highly of herself but also was the biggest most insecure character of all time

Her whole relationship with big was more pitiful than any middle school crush I’ve ever had. She’s always pending for him and he shows her time and time again that he’s just not that into her. Him marrying her in the end makes absolutely no sense. Any guy that you would still marry after he stood you up at the altar is absolutely not worth it.

Let’s not even get into the fact that she has no financial stability and wasted her whole life on smoking, writing bad relationship and sex articles when she’s a prude herself, and buying expensive shoes that she can’t afford.

I always remind people that this show was not even written by women, it was primarily written by a gay man, Michael Patrick King. For the most part, it is not a true depiction of real women’s thoughts and feelings and behavior, even those living in New York and single in their 30s and 40s.

Watching Carrie fall for Big when he treated her like crap is the worst thing I can watch on television. She has no self-respect.

[Anonymous]

Why do you not give Carrie any credit for her stupidity with big? And also she treated Aiden like crap. That’s why she’s the worst character ever.

[Anonymous]

I actually agree with everything you wrote OP. Also opinions from SATC fandom vary tremendously depending on the current era. Carrie was of course the heroine when the show originally aired. Then it became trendy to hate Carrie and love Samantha and Miranda to a lesser extent. In recent years everyone hates Miranda and Charlotte is suddenly the fan favorite.

[Anonymous]

Carrie is insanely selfish, immature and a terrible person. I have always thought that. She's dumb with guys but mostly I hate the character because she is a horrible horrible friend.

I'm not going to write an essay about this, but for example:

https://www.tvinsider.com/gallery/sex-and-the-city-carrie-terrible-friend-ranked/#2

But also she was absurdly needy and I don't blame Big for finding it off-putting. Like showing up to spy on him at church? Going off and getting drunk and kissing another guy when she was pissed at him?

She's so self-obsessed and I would never ever be friends with someone like her.

[Anonymous]

mostly I hate the character because she is a horrible horrible friend.

Couldn’t agree more. Noticed when I rewatched before the movies that she always ALWAYS interrupts conversations among the four of them and brings them back to her and her own issues. Like every scene.

[Anonymous]

I don’t dislike Carrie for acting like a clown around Big. Many of us have been there.

But she’s a terrible friend. Like absolutely awful, and at times cruel. She’s unbearably self centered. I also dislike that she has zero interests outside of shopping. She’s vapid and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some hot takes:

Misogynistic Hate of Carrie:

Upon my rewatch, now in my late thirties, I have so much empathy for poor Carrie! She was stuck in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic man who kept her at arms length. She was not perfect and found it difficult to break away from their trauma bond. Why do us women hate her so much for not being perfect or making perfect decisions? This is a larger conversation about the perfectionism we hold women to. Why cannot we appreciate a complex, immature woman who makes bad decisions?

Aiden actually WAS a good fit for her:

Also the happiest we have seen her with a man on the show is Aiden. She is so relaxed and comfortable and safe and happy. He fits in with her friends, she is a regular NYer having fun with her friends and her boyfriend. Their friendship group is cute!

With Big...they never had a real relationship. He was sleeping with her and viewed her from a casual lens and she kept overanalyzing their interactions trying to fit them into early stages of a real romantic relationship.

The only reason she turns down Aiden is due to extreme PTSD from the mistreatment from Big and low self esteem

Charlotte and Trey:

I think Charlotte was being hysterical and called it quits too soon in her marriage. Trey felt overwhelmed with the infertility and wanted some time to feel normal again but she was steamrolling him in her race to have a baby!

She doesn't turn him down because of "PTSD." She turns him down because she thinks she can bat above her weight. Which she can't.

[Anonymous]

She looks ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some hot takes:

Misogynistic Hate of Carrie:

Upon my rewatch, now in my late thirties, I have so much empathy for poor Carrie! She was stuck in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic man who kept her at arms length. She was not perfect and found it difficult to break away from their trauma bond. Why do us women hate her so much for not being perfect or making perfect decisions? This is a larger conversation about the perfectionism we hold women to. Why cannot we appreciate a complex, immature woman who makes bad decisions?

Aiden actually WAS a good fit for her:

Also the happiest we have seen her with a man on the show is Aiden. She is so relaxed and comfortable and safe and happy. He fits in with her friends, she is a regular NYer having fun with her friends and her boyfriend. Their friendship group is cute!

With Big...they never had a real relationship. He was sleeping with her and viewed her from a casual lens and she kept overanalyzing their interactions trying to fit them into early stages of a real romantic relationship.

The only reason she turns down Aiden is due to extreme PTSD from the mistreatment from Big and low self esteem

Charlotte and Trey:

I think Charlotte was being hysterical and called it quits too soon in her marriage. Trey felt overwhelmed with the infertility and wanted some time to feel normal again but she was steamrolling him in her race to have a baby!

Aiden was a petulant, passive aggressive desperado and he and Carrie had nothing in common. At least she and Big had chemistry and similar interests. She turned Aiden down because she didn’t want to marry him (like so much so that she barfed when she found out he was going to have propose!), and he was desperate to marry her because he knew she wasn’t over Big. (And because he was as desperate to be married to anyone as Charlotte was).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not give Carrie any credit for her stupidity with big? And also she treated Aiden like crap. That’s why she’s the worst character ever.

This.

Have some ownership for a woman's stupidity and stop blaming everything on a man.

This is not 1950s

[Anonymous]

I’m in my mid thirties and rewatching it now, I wonder what all these women were doing in their 20s. The problem with the show is that Carrie and Charlotte are more like twenty somethings. But I love the show. And I don’t hate Carrie, but she is self centered.

Carries mistakes with big seem like ones I made in my twenties. Not my thirties.

And I love Charlotte and Harry together. Trey was perfect on paper, but Harry made her really happy.

[Anonymous]

She is the polar opposite of self-aware. She’s entitled and inseparable. I would be so embarrassed if she was a friend of mine I don’t know anyone in their 20s who acted like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not give Carrie any credit for her stupidity with big? And also she treated Aiden like crap. That’s why she’s the worst character ever.

This.

Have some ownership for a woman's stupidity and stop blaming everything on a man.

This is not 1950s

Absolutely, wtf "trauma bond" - we are talking about someone very privileged with no traumatic childhood backstory or the like. She wanted to bat above her weight and status/$ so she put up with his behavior.

And Aiden - she cheated on him! So yes, many ppl think she sucks. It's not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow, is it time for the 2025 Sex & the City rewatch thread already? Time flies. A trip down memory lane:

Watching Sex and the City (2024)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/646822.page

home sick watching SATC and wow
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1088855.page

I am rewatching Sex and the City, and oh dear (2021)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/961076.page

Rewatching Sex and the City (2019)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/843691.page

Is it just me or was Carrie Bradshaw the most annoying character from the 90s? (2016)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/567698.page