One person in relationship doesn’t like school dances

[Anonymous]

My teen is in a relationship. They’ve been dating awhile. One of the two wants to go to a school dance and the other does not. The other who does not is okay with the other one going with friends if they want.

Is there an expectation to be fulfilled if you’re in a relationship to go to these types of things even if you don’t want to?

[Anonymous]

Adding—it’s not prom. Think SGA sponsored winter dance

[Anonymous]

This is not your business.

[Anonymous]

Why are you involved in this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The other who does not is okay with the other one going with friends if they want.

The fact that you wrote this is wild to me. The entire question is so odd that I'm wondering if you are in a controlling relationship.

[Anonymous]

Are you okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The other who does not is okay with the other one going with friends if they want.

The fact that you wrote this is wild to me. The entire question is so odd that I'm wondering if you are in a controlling relationship.

+1

I hope OP is actually a teenaged girl and posting about herself in the hope of getting advice from a site she knows has lots of moms on it.

Otherwise, it is creepy beyond words.

[Anonymous]

This is exactly where you don’t get involved.

[Anonymous]

No, you don’t have to go to a dance if you don’t want to. My husband would like to get dressed up and go to formal charity balls. That sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. We don’t go, but if he went without me, that would be fine.

[Anonymous]

The person who wants to prevent the other from attending with friends is out of line and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The other who does not is okay with the other one going with friends if they want.

The fact that you wrote this is wild to me. The entire question is so odd that I'm wondering if you are in a controlling relationship.

+1

I hope OP is actually a teenaged girl and posting about herself in the hope of getting advice from a site she knows has lots of moms on it.

Otherwise, it is creepy beyond words.

My thought exactly

[Anonymous]

Of course this is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person who wants to prevent the other from attending with friends is out of line and controlling.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person who wants to prevent the other from attending with friends is out of line and controlling.

Sorry I worded it wrong. Nobody is preventing anyone going with friends. The kid who doesn’t want to go is my kid. I posted because I’m not sure if I should encourage them to go even if it’s beyond their comfort zone. Or just leave it alone. I’m not officially intervening, just looking for advice. My kid is absolutely fine if the other goes with friends, they’re not controlling at all. Just doesn’t enjoy dances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The person who wants to prevent the other from attending with friends is out of line and controlling.

Sorry I worded it wrong. Nobody is preventing anyone going with friends. The kid who doesn’t want to go is my kid. I posted because I’m not sure if I should encourage them to go even if it’s beyond their comfort zone. Or just leave it alone. I’m not officially intervening, just looking for advice. My kid is absolutely fine if the other goes with friends, they’re not controlling at all. Just doesn’t enjoy dances.

They dont have to go if they don't want to go. Sometimes it's nice to do something one doesn't fully enjoy for the other person. But not all the time and it's not in any way required and the other person shouldn't like them less for not stepping out of their comfort zone.