Non obvious signs of cheater
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Anonymous
| What are some non obvious signs your husband may be cheating? I don’t mean gut feeling, staying late at work, protective over phone or not answering calls. What were the non obvious signs that looking back you realized were indicators? Were there even any signs? |
Anonymous
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Calling to see if you need anything from the store. That way you won't disturb him, it buys him time. Time missing of course.
This is kind of funny, but a friend of mine was finding jewelry from Goodwill in her husband's toiletry bag. That's how she found out. Then of course the Text Me app on his phone. I still laugh about that one, he was buying Goodwill jewelry and wrapping it in nice boxes. OMG! |
Anonymous
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He was growing very distant, detached. It was palpable but it also didn’t make sense, because we were still intimate, still “dating”, like happily going out, doing our usual hobbies and things. There was just this strange quietness that would come over him.
He was having difficulties finishing in bed. He either just could not ever “get there”, or he would go limp. He would blame it on the room being too hot, or would blame me for “not being into it” which was never the case, but he sort of gaslit me into thinking it was. He’d find really odd errands to run. Just off the wall stuff. His texts would be delivered in green bubbles and would go unanswered for a period of time, then replies would come in the usual blue bubble. (He was turning his phone off during the drive to and from his trysts.) |
Anonymous
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Trust me and trust yourself: If you’re asking, you likely already know what the answer is.
Everyone here talks about how crappy a wife is for using FindMy, but that’s exactly how I FoundMy husband cheating. He had given me a story about running late from work (again) that just didn’t sit right. My intuition was setting off alarm bells so I looked. I actually posted about it here, that my husband was in a random parking lot, and everyone told me I was a crazy, possessive busy body, that no wonder he was sitting in a parking lot enjoying peace. So for months I ignored what was likely happening right in front of me, thinking myself overbearing and intrusive, because a bunch of strangers on the internet said as much and shamed me. And so for months he continued cheating, until he got an STI and came clean. Thankfully I hadn’t caught it, but how stupid of me to listed to these idiots here. Please, trust yourself gut, and do whatever you need to do, WITHOUT GUILT, to get to the bottom of things. |
Anonymous
| Dear Lord. I swear there are just a handful of posters who are obsessed with cheating and cloud the entire Relationship Forum with that angle, all the time. If anyone does anything... it's cheating! |
Anonymous
And women cheat just as often as men but you rarerly hear about it. |
Anonymous
You should check out the infidelity subs on Reddit and you’d quickly realize you’re wrong. |
Anonymous
Good advice. I ordered a small gps device for a friend so it didn't arrive at her home. She caught him right away. |
Anonymous
People here will preach to you that tHoSe aRe iLLeGaL!!!!!! Ok, fine, maybe they are, but he doesn’t need to know, and you can use it to gather other LEGAL evidence, like following him there and confronting him in person. He doesn’t need to know how, it’s not illegal to covertly follow your husband WHILE HE CHEATS. |
Anonymous
Well...you're here lol. |
Anonymous
Like nobody cares, married couples own the cars so it's perfectly fine. Maybe they want to keep track of their cars in case stolen. It's the best way because you can see where that car is going in real time. It can save years of waste being with a cheater, and give the spouse plenty of time to plan their exit. My friend spent almost a year putting stuff in a storage to set up a new house after the divorce. |
Anonymous
| Claiming to have a second job. Workaholic otherwise, so it's really hard to tell if he really is working or not. |
Anonymous
I did not tell you that you were crazy. I told you he was cheating and then everyone attacked me too. lol Been there. Sorry it sucks massively. I will add I agree with the person that says all the sudden being more attentive: started calling me in middle of day (I WAH) and at times he knew I was in exercise class—I think to make sure I was occupied. He also would start laying foundation about he might have to go into office for a few hours on his WAH day. We still had sex so that was no sign. He did have more moods. And sometimes anger that seemed to come from nowhere- more critical which I wrote off to work stress (he does have a stressful job). Could be a critical @sshole that had us walking on eggshells. He started not liking our friends. Everyone was boring to him. These were very good couple friends that we had known for years. He did have new interest in certain cooking/recipes/cocktails that his married sah ap told him about—that should have been obvious since I always cooked, etc. Often times it is so subtle that with a busy life, your own job, kids, aging parents, sports activities, etc…you don’t have time to notice. |
Anonymous
| New interests and sharing about uncommon books, movies etc |
Anonymous
| It’s really just a *feeling*, and everyone who has been cheated on knows what I’m talking about. If you feel it, OP, it’s probably trying to tell you something. Do some digging. |