Non obvious signs of cheater

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our intimacy became less frequent, perfunctory and disappointing. It went on from there.

This. He stopped initiating altogether and was too tired when I tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our intimacy became less frequent, perfunctory and disappointing. It went on from there.

What was the cause of less intimacy? Did you become fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex, who was always very, very impressionable, started adopting mannerisms and sayings that were really unusual for him. I think they may have been private jokes between the two of them? For example, he started doing this strange thing where we’d be talking about something normally, then he’d lower his voice and make a sarcastic joke out of just the side of his mouth. The first time he did it, I thought he was having a stroke or something.

Also, the inability to finish in bed. In 16 years of marriage that was never an issue, then BAM. Suddenly he just couldn’t. Mind you, that never stopped him from initiating, and it didn’t really change the frequency (2-3 times a week).

I’m sorry —that’s too funny.

It really is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our intimacy became less frequent, perfunctory and disappointing. It went on from there.

What was the cause of less intimacy? Did you become fat?

He was CHEATING, that’s why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our intimacy became less frequent, perfunctory and disappointing. It went on from there.

What was the cause of less intimacy? Did you become fat?

He was CHEATING, that’s why.

I wish mine had lost his wood during the cheating. Nope—instead I got to get continually exposed to the AP’s germs several times per week. So incredibly violating to be having non-consensual non-monogamy.

As you can see, signs are different for everyone. It’s what seems “off”. Our sex life was still active with zero performance issues. But, lots of other things people have noted in this thread were similar ‘signs’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some non obvious signs your husband may be cheating? I don’t mean gut feeling, staying late at work, protective over phone or not answering calls. What were the non obvious signs that looking back you realized were indicators? Were there even any signs?

Box of Crest White Strips on his desk. Major red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out at his workplace at the 'bring your family to work' event. The work wife wouldn't make eye contact with me, my ex DH was acting odd, coworkers nearby acting nervous. he and his AP were laughing together when she picked some food absent-mindedly and with familiarity off his plate, and I knew. I confronted later, it was an affair.

What a town bicycle AP was. I would have texted her entire family online. Then a year later make it look like she was cheating on your ex DH when they were together. Just a few things because that shows no respect or at work. I would alert the owners or boss because many would not let them both keep their jobs, or demote them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He started dressing better.

This is not a concern for us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our intimacy became less frequent, perfunctory and disappointing. It went on from there.

What was the cause of less intimacy? Did you become fat?

He was CHEATING, that’s why.

I wish mine had lost his wood during the cheating. Nope—instead I got to get continually exposed to the AP’s germs several times per week. So incredibly violating to be having non-consensual non-monogamy.

As you can see, signs are different for everyone. It’s what seems “off”. Our sex life was still active with zero performance issues. But, lots of other things people have noted in this thread were similar ‘signs’.

Such as?

[Anonymous]

This is a lot more typical of a sign, but my ex was definitely comfortable in his dad bod until all of a sudden out of nowhere, he developed an interest in running. For about a year, he was “prepping for a marathon” that he never ran, but he did shed a few pounds. AP was a runner, so that’s what was going on.

Fast forward 5 years, he never ran his marathon, doesn’t exercise at all, and has gained at least 50 lbs since the divorce, but they are still together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trust me and trust yourself: If you’re asking, you likely already know what the answer is.

Everyone here talks about how crappy a wife is for using FindMy, but that’s exactly how I FoundMy husband cheating.

He had given me a story about running late from work (again) that just didn’t sit right. My intuition was setting off alarm bells so I looked. I actually posted about it here, that my husband was in a random parking lot, and everyone told me I was a crazy, possessive busy body, that no wonder he was sitting in a parking lot enjoying peace.

So for months I ignored what was likely happening right in front of me, thinking myself overbearing and intrusive, because a bunch of strangers on the internet said as much and shamed me. And so for months he continued cheating, until he got an STI and came clean. Thankfully I hadn’t caught it, but how stupid of me to listed to these idiots here.

Please, trust yourself gut, and do whatever you need to do, WITHOUT GUILT, to get to the bottom of things.

OMG! That is almost exactly my story. I was checking to make sure our child made it home on FindMy and noticed he was at an apartment complex. Called and he didn’t answer the phone. Texted - no response until 30 min later and I’m following his car out of the parking lot on the app while he is trying to convince me he was at the mall. Took another 3 months and him catching an STD. He couldn’t hide that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trust me and trust yourself: If you’re asking, you likely already know what the answer is.

Everyone here talks about how crappy a wife is for using FindMy, but that’s exactly how I FoundMy husband cheating.

Mine turned off FindMy. I bided my time until I was ready to confront several weeks later. Oh and I had been having dreams for months that he was cheating and I told him so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex, who was always very, very impressionable, started adopting mannerisms and sayings that were really unusual for him. I think they may have been private jokes between the two of them? For example, he started doing this strange thing where we’d be talking about something normally, then he’d lower his voice and make a sarcastic joke out of just the side of his mouth. The first time he did it, I thought he was having a stroke or something.

Also, the inability to finish in bed. In 16 years of marriage that was never an issue, then BAM. Suddenly he just couldn’t. Mind you, that never stopped him from initiating, and it didn’t really change the frequency (2-3 times a week).

You are funny, PP. He's an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me and trust yourself: If you’re asking, you likely already know what the answer is.

Everyone here talks about how crappy a wife is for using FindMy, but that’s exactly how I FoundMy husband cheating.

Mine turned off FindMy. I bided my time until I was ready to confront several weeks later. Oh and I had been having dreams for months that he was cheating and I told him so.

This happened to me and I usually never remember dreams/dreaming !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a lot more typical of a sign, but my ex was definitely comfortable in his dad bod until all of a sudden out of nowhere, he developed an interest in running. For about a year, he was “prepping for a marathon” that he never ran, but he did shed a few pounds. AP was a runner, so that’s what was going on.

Fast forward 5 years, he never ran his marathon, doesn’t exercise at all, and has gained at least 50 lbs since the divorce, but they are still together.

Gross. Sounds like you’re the winner in this situation!