Traveling with good friend and her friends I don’t know

[Anonymous]

My friend has a milestone birthday coming up and we are planning a big trip. I told her that if she wants to share a room with me, she is welcome to do so. I would cover her housing. It was supposed to be my friend and me and her sister was going to join us for a night. I’m also friends with her sister and I assumed the sister would just share my friend’s bed for a night.

My friend invited another 2-3 friends. I was planning on getting a room that would cost 1-2k per night. The other friends want to stay at cheaper places, much cheaper.

Do I have to suck it up and cater to her friends?

When she asked if she could invite others, of course I said yes. It is her birthday, not mine.

[Anonymous]

I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

The trip is one we have spoken about for 2 years. Other people were never mentioned, just her sister joining.

[Anonymous]

It's not your birthday, it's hers. Stop making it about you. I'm sure you can slum it for a couple of days so your friend can have the people she wants there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not your birthday, it's hers. Stop making it about you. I'm sure you can slum it for a couple of days so your friend can have the people she wants there.

Yes. This. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

The trip is one we have spoken about for 2 years. Other people were never mentioned, just her sister joining.

If nothing has been set in concrete in 2 years then the plans were very loosely done. So she can change them. It's her birthday. I'm not sure what the big deal is. I'm sure you can manage staying in a less expensive place for a few nights.

[Anonymous]

That sounds annoying, but it’s her birthday. I wouldn’t say anything and enjoy it for what it is.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My friend went on a recent birthday milestone trip for a friend where she invited people from various times of her life on a trip. My friend said she had to room with 3 other people, only 1 she knew 20 years ago. She said bill splitting for a large group was horrible.

[Anonymous]

Can you stay in a nicer room at the cheaper hotel they can afford? I mean, the reality is people only have so much money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

The trip is one we have spoken about for 2 years. Other people were never mentioned, just her sister joining.

I think if you wanted to be able to control it more than it would have been better to speak up and let her know you didn't want this big guest list. I think if she is a good friend you can just talk to her about all of this! And ask her what she thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean I think if you are planning a trip for a group of people and your friend wants those people there than the price should be something everyone can afford.

The trip is one we have spoken about for 2 years. Other people were never mentioned, just her sister joining.

It's HER birthday.

[Anonymous]

Well, if it were me I’d rather stay in my own $300 room than share a room (and a bed!!!) with other people. Why did you get the solo bed and just presume that the birthday girl wants to sleep with her sister.

Go to the place that the birthday girl thinks is the best fit for the crowd. You can get the fanciest room in the place for yourself, if it’s such a hardship.

[Anonymous]

Put your 1-2K towards a nice airbnb and then everyone can stay together in something that isn't below you. The others can chip in or pay for meals or contribute in other ways.

Or suck it up, save money, and stay where they can afford.

Just because you have money doesn't mean you get to take all the power, control, and decision making.

[Anonymous]

Why would you waste 2k on a place to sleep?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the one who issued the vague invite (you) neglected to plan for contingencies that have now appeared, and that the guest of honor (your friend) is now directing things the way she prefers, because you didn't take the reins earlier. You can't blame anyone except yourself... but, you can tell her that you thought it would just be X, Y and Z people on the trip.

Next time (if you're up for a next time!), make sure to set parameters as soon as you propose a trip.

Did you actually mean bed-sharing or room-sharing? There is no way I'm sharing a bed with anyone, OP. I'd rather go to a less luxurious hotel and have my own bed, if not my own room. Just saying. Maybe that factored into people's preferences for a cheaper place...