Does it bother you to see families super underdressed at church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE on here would agree -- if we're all being honest -- that it's really lovely to see a well-groomed and well-dressed (and well behaved) random family on a Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. Why? Why does it make us instinctively smile and give us some sort of dopamine rush to see such effort and appearance in another family?

If that's a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a well-groomed family, then to the contrary can also stoke legitimate feelings of being bothered. It is perfectly natural and reasonable to want to see people put some effort into their appearance in your church.

No, I don't agree with your premise at all. That is not how I react to seeing a family dressed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE on here would agree -- if we're all being honest -- that it's really lovely to see a well-groomed and well-dressed (and well behaved) random family on a Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. Why? Why does it make us instinctively smile and give us some sort of dopamine rush to see such effort and appearance in another family?

If that's a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a well-groomed family, then to the contrary can also stoke legitimate feelings of being bothered. It is perfectly natural and reasonable to want to see people put some effort into their appearance in your church.

No, I don't agree with your premise at all. That is not how I react to seeing a family dressed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE on here would agree -- if we're all being honest -- that it's really lovely to see a well-groomed and well-dressed (and well behaved) random family on a Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. Why? Why does it make us instinctively smile and give us some sort of dopamine rush to see such effort and appearance in another family?

If that's a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a well-groomed family, then to the contrary can also stoke legitimate feelings of being bothered. It is perfectly natural and reasonable to want to see people put some effort into their appearance in your church.

No, I don't agree with your premise at all. That is not how I react to seeing a family dressed up.

How do you react?

[Anonymous]

OP should ask herself why it bothers her to see families super underdressed at church. It's not your place to judge.

God does not care what you are wearing, for He sees all of you as you are. The clothes you have on do not matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor people should have their own places of worship and not attend ones for wealthy and well dressed?

False premise here. Even when much (or even most) of the country was poor, they managed to dress appropriately and neatly for church. Look at historical photographs of even the poorest congregations and they will be making an effort.

They did not shuffle to church in slides and pajamas.

[Anonymous]

No. The fact that people even show up to Church is more than enough for me. I do find it bizarre that you're at Church judging people, though.

[Anonymous]

Huh. I like to mind my own business.

[Anonymous]

It bothers me if something like that bothers me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I sound both old and old fashioned but I love seeing clean cut families put effort into their appearance. Boys in chinos and a tucked in shirt, dad in a blazer or suit (or at least a collared shirt under a nice sweater), mom and gals in dresses. Everyone's hair styled nicely. It displays such an appreciation and respect for the church and the service. We'll probably never return to that but semi-casual is still nice to see. However, the hooded sweatshirts, baggy fleece pants... untucked shirts... kids wearing t-shirts under a jacket... sporty sneakers... I hate it. Often parents are dressed nice but the kids look like they just rolled out of bed. It's not a wealth thing, it's a caring thing.

Yep. Western civ was nice while it lasted. Now everyone looks like sh!t. Not just church: air travel, public transit, buying groceries.

I was going to write that clothing is the least of western civ's problems right now ... but actually, this idea that other people are scenery in your life, such that you get annoyed when the scenery is not pleasing to you, is pretty central to what's wrong.

No, you miss the point with myopic flair. It's not that other people are mere scenery. It's that we are all interdependent in creating a lovely social fabric. When some people decline to participate, those who still make an effort become understandably annoyed.

Lol. Ok.

You hear that folks? Wear nice clothes to create that "lovely social fabric." Coming to you from 1984's Junior League...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE on here would agree -- if we're all being honest -- that it's really lovely to see a well-groomed and well-dressed (and well behaved) random family on a Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. Why? Why does it make us instinctively smile and give us some sort of dopamine rush to see such effort and appearance in another family?

If that's a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a well-groomed family, then to the contrary can also stoke legitimate feelings of being bothered. It is perfectly natural and reasonable to want to see people put some effort into their appearance in your church.

No, I don't agree with your premise at all. That is not how I react to seeing a family dressed up.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an agreement with teen DCs, if attending Sun AM they dress for the occasion. Sat/Sub evening Mass, jeans and a nice top.

That seems to track with what I see at evening Saturday mass vs. morning Sunday mass. Is this a known, like unwritten rule custom sort of thing or is it an organic thing?

This is us too, though just by custom. My kids are now in college and both still go to church most weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it goes hand and hand. You're setting the tone that this is something to take seriously and worthy of respect. It's once a week for an hour or two. Why is it so hard for people to demonstrate some level CARE?

How you dress is *independent* of your ability to care. It is *independent* of showing respect. Care and respect are about how you *act*, not how you *look*. Thankfully more and more people these days have realized that and moved beyond this kind of superficial judgement. It must be all us 90's kids who took to heart that lesson that it's what is on the inside that matters, not what is on the outside.

I'll note, as an atheist, that when I was a teenager growing up, I did have people tell me outside of church that they hadn't liked how I dressed in church. That was something that certainly helped me realize that the people who were attending church didn't actually care about things that mattered. It wasn't the final step in me realizing it wasn't real, but it certainly was something hat helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it goes hand and hand. You're setting the tone that this is something to take seriously and worthy of respect. It's once a week for an hour or two. Why is it so hard for people to demonstrate some level CARE?

How you dress is *independent* of your ability to care. It is *independent* of showing respect. Care and respect are about how you *act*, not how you *look*. Thankfully more and more people these days have realized that and moved beyond this kind of superficial judgement. It must be all us 90's kids who took to heart that lesson that it's what is on the inside that matters, not what is on the outside.

I'll note, as an atheist, that when I was a teenager growing up, I did have people tell me outside of church that they hadn't liked how I dressed in church. That was something that certainly helped me realize that the people who were attending church didn't actually care about things that mattered. It wasn't the final step in me realizing it wasn't real, but it certainly was something hat helped.

If someone commented that you were not dressed properly for a concert, would you have given up concerts?
(PS - I don't think religion is real, either.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care one bit. No one needs to be dressed up to attend church.

Why did everyone dress up for church in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s? You don't think that looked much nicer? You don't admire a random good looking family wearing their Sunday best if you see one on a Sunday afternoon? Come on, we all do.

This erosion of effort and appearance and coming to church in casual clothes seems to be a relatively new phenomenon.

People got fat, OP. And that meant the need for elastic waist bands, and it was all downhill from there.

I'm being semi-serious.

People don't dress nicely in society at all anymore. Men used to wear suits and fedoras out and about. They no longer do.

Women used to wear skirts or dresses or even jeans. Now they paint their asses with leggings that show every curve and their cameltoes and prance around like they're proud when they should be feeling embarrassment and shame.

Sean Duffy was on to something when he asked people to dress nicely for flying again. Bring back the stratoliners!

There is some truth to this. It's part of why everyone is focused on being "comfortable." And that effects what people are wearing in various contexts.

But you need to drop the ugly misogyny.

But now we're a nation on Ozempic so people should be dressing up more.

[Anonymous]

Become a Mormon if you want to dress up for church.