Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP is real and is someone making up a story for fun. Some people do like to live out hypothetical fantasies and start conversations about it.

EVP isn't a 7 figure role in major corps. That's c-level. You hit 7 figs with the bonuses, not base salaries.

How can OP not know where DH is going? Seems random to say "probably London." Serious moves abroad are for specific roles in specific locations.

Universities are pretty generous with tenured faculty leave and these kinds of circumstances. There are limits but sabbatical plus leave of absence or alternating semesters for a few years is extremely doable. OP should know all of this already.

Or DH goes alone and comes back for visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

You're a full tenured professor, have 4 kids, and the oldest is 6?

That's...unusual.

OP here, we only started having kids after I got tenure and had my research pipeline setup. We also received a lot of help (nannies, in-laws etc.) and the covid years with remote teaching also helped too with schedule management (we had a live-in nanny who decided to stay with us). Even with all that, my research productivity definitely suffered and I feel I got lucky with the bid for promotion to full. With all the kids now, it is hard to see how I can become more productive and I guess I will remain as an average scholar in a middling university.

Hold on, hold on. People rarely get tenured until late 30s. You're in academia doing the PhD till late 20s, even 30 or later. Then 1-2 visiting roles, then an assistant professorship, then tenure review. You become associate in your late 30s by that point. There are a few hotshot rare exceptions (like my father who made full professor before he was 40 but they are very rare and he also got his PhD at a young age as times were different in the 60s). But four kids after your late 30s is a whoa moment. And you managed to get full professorship pretty quickly? Something doesn't add up unless you're an incredible hotshot, which is theoretically possible, but in real life incredible hotshots don't post on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

OP, never leave your job. He can go if he wants. You can travel in summer breaks/spring break and Christmas break. He will also get a good chunk of vacation time. Ask him to negotiate 40 day vacation time ..etc. So, he can visit you guys. Don't give up all you have now.. take baby steps.

Personally, I would not give up my position at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reflecting on this post, as someone with a PhD and had many friends with PhDs. PPs are right I don't know a single one, even my very religious friends, that were able to have 4 kids. And know none with tenure. I'm 38. So OP, with 4 kids under 6 can't be that much older than me.

Same, thinking through the faculty when I was in grad school. Can't think of one person with similar stats...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
EVP isn't a 7 figure role in major corps. That's c-level. You hit 7 figs with the bonuses, not base salaries.

How can OP not know where DH is going? Seems random to say "probably London." Serious moves abroad are for specific roles in specific locations.

Even c-level won’t make 7 figure base in most companies. I think it goes without saying the comp OP mentioned includes bonuses, stock incentives etc.

I feel OP’s husband is still in the planning stage for next career move, otherwise the information would be more specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

You're a full tenured professor, have 4 kids, and the oldest is 6?

That's...unusual.

OP here, we only started having kids after I got tenure and had my research pipeline setup. We also received a lot of help (nannies, in-laws etc.) and the covid years with remote teaching also helped too with schedule management (we had a live-in nanny who decided to stay with us). Even with all that, my research productivity definitely suffered and I feel I got lucky with the bid for promotion to full. With all the kids now, it is hard to see how I can become more productive and I guess I will remain as an average scholar in a middling university.

Hold on, hold on. People rarely get tenured until late 30s. You're in academia doing the PhD till late 20s, even 30 or later. Then 1-2 visiting roles, then an assistant professorship, then tenure review. You become associate in your late 30s by that point. There are a few hotshot rare exceptions (like my father who made full professor before he was 40 but they are very rare and he also got his PhD at a young age as times were different in the 60s). But four kids after your late 30s is a whoa moment. And you managed to get full professorship pretty quickly? Something doesn't add up unless you're an incredible hotshot, which is theoretically possible, but in real life incredible hotshots don't post on DCUM.

PhD here. I know faculty like OP. I know academic Deans like OP. Also, there is a thing called twins. At one job, I had four sets of twins born in my building on campus--and it was on the smaller side. I was there 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need some advices on whether I should give up my career to help DH move higher.

I am a tenured full professor making about 190k and my DH's career skyrocketed past couple years and now is in an EVP position in corporate making around 7 figures. We have four young children but between outsourcing for help and my flexible hours, we managed to make it work while keeping both our careers in track. However, for my DH to progress further, the fastest way is for him to take an international position within his own company for 3-5 years, which means I may need to give up my job if the family needs to move with him.

I am not sure what to do in this situation. On one hand, I love my job, feel respected in my institution, and find the research part intellectually stimulating and the teaching part very rewarding. The job is cushy with good benefits (we are on my health insurance), amazing flexibility, and summer/winter off. On the other hand, I also know that my earnings/growth has pretty much plateaued as I am not interested in moving into admin nor have the time to become a superstar in my field while my DH still has room for growth. But if I do give up and move overseas, it would be very hard to get back into academia as the job market is super competitive.

I know we are very privileged to even be in this position, but what do you think I should do in this situation?

Sabbatical? Move to Singapore or Germany or wherever, put your kids in international school, hire four nannies and write a book. Semi-serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband need to progress more? It sounds like you're in a fantastic situation right where you are.

No, I would not give up your job!

I would not do this. I made a lot of sacrifices so my DH could progress in his career and then he plateaued at a salary way beneath where we thought he would top off. If I had just done my own thing, I would have easily surpassed him. Plus, not to be negative but if he divorces you, you will have to work at some point - better to have a current resume.

[Anonymous]

3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

DP - then how else does she keep tenure? You really think a department is willing to let someone go on sabbatical for 3-5 years? It’s usually 1 year every 7 years. Academia is competitive enough where they could find someone just as good who’s not going to be on leave for that long. I’ve seen some couples do long-term distance (even with kids) so I guess there’s always that option. But for someone already making 7 figures I have to wonder what’s the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3-5 year sabbatical is virtually unheard of. Why are people recommending this? Too many non-academics here, I guess.

My answer is no, don't do this. But if you are seriously considering it:

Start networking for a lateral move if your husband has locked down a location. Some tenured people move, but it has to be done differently. You have to reach out to people directly rather than applying through a job board. I suspect this will not be easy if you are not a top-tier researcher in your field.

And it is overseas -- so the system is very likely different. If the OP was in the sciences, then a move is near impossible. The European (I am guessing here but the OP did slip in London and the like somewhere) system is pretty rigid and moves/hires are essentially by invitation only. Not to mention the tenure system and negotiating that. And then there's the headache of teaching in the language, if the move is to a Uni rather than an independent institute. Same thing goes for econ as well.

Read the thread. No one recommended that.

Read the previous post. The recommendation was for a lateral move. No way OP can take a multi year leave of absence and come back to her tenured position. The options are pretty much - move, long distance marriage or commute. OP can also try to negotiate a schedule where all teaching (double or triple load) is in one semester and the other semester is free. But if indeed op is tenured full professor then there are a lot of service responsibilities as well. There is no free lunch here

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone with a tenure who was able to have 4 kids that young, much less a woman.

If this is real, and dh is making tons of money, why not go to Europe and take a sabbatical for a year and then reevaluate how important the academic position is to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The obvious solution is to let him travel and you stay home with the kids.

Might lead to infidelity & divorce.