Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

[Anonymous]

Thanks. DH needs to move because people in his role usually needs to move after 3ish years, either to a P/L role internationally or other companies. I can take maybe a 1 year unpaid leave and a year sabbatical, not sure I can extend too much beyond that (I can try to negotiate for online teaching, not very hopeful though)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are missing the point here, because they already imagine a tenured professorship to be some sort of unobtainium. But that's just the demographic of this board. Lots of people, from all walks of life and types of success, wouldn't take a tenured professorship if you forced it down their throats. If you were the Queen of England, or Serena Williams, or Taylor Swift you would give exactly zero f*cks about retaining some comparatively dull tenured professorship.

You are about to break orbit from middle-class strivership. You've made it. Don't let class assumptions hold you back.

Whatever-- if you read the post you'd see the OP likes her job. The fact that you'd find it dull is irrelevant and says more about you than what she should do.

[Anonymous]

Your choice. You have a very high HHI so you don't need to work but giving up tenor if you enjoy teaching seems like a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. DH needs to move because people in his role usually needs to move after 3ish years, either to a P/L role internationally or other companies. I can take maybe a 1 year unpaid leave and a year sabbatical, not sure I can extend too much beyond that (I can try to negotiate for online teaching, not very hopeful though)

1 year of unpaid leave plus 1 year of sabbatical takes you to 2 years. The third year you can live apart and visit in the summer. If you are inclined, maybe do some research when you're not teaching. During my sabattical I was the trailing spouse and made a well recieved documentary film

[Anonymous]

OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are missing the point here, because they already imagine a tenured professorship to be some sort of unobtainium. But that's just the demographic of this board. Lots of people, from all walks of life and types of success, wouldn't take a tenured professorship if you forced it down their throats. If you were the Queen of England, or Serena Williams, or Taylor Swift you would give exactly zero f*cks about retaining some comparatively dull tenured professorship.

You are about to break orbit from middle-class strivership. You've made it. Don't let class assumptions hold you back.

Whatever-- if you read the post you'd see the OP likes her job. The fact that you'd find it dull is irrelevant and says more about you than what she should do.

I said "comparatively dull". Humans are great at adapting to a certain happiness set point (hedonic adaptation). Just because she's happy in her current job doesn't mean she can ONLY be happy by staying in her current job. Your post smells like fear and scarcity.

My point is that the adventures that await her will probably make her current position seem "comparatively dull". That means dull by comparison if you're able to keep up. In hindsight, her current position will be seen as the valuable and wonderful stepping stone that it is, but not as her landing place.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely 100% no you should not give this up. Ridiculous job security, amazing flexibility, and pretty good pay and benefits even. I would do what you need to do to keep it but figure out how he can travel (between visiting professorships, LOA, and commuting). Your admin is likely to work with you on this. You could even pitch related research.

[Anonymous]

Daughter of a professor here. Please keep teaching!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't give up the job, OP. Figure out how to work it so you can be apart some of the 3 years and together some of it.

A couple of things to consider - does your college/university offer free tuition to offspring of tenured faculty? If so, that's a huge bonus to throw away by giving up the job.

And I'm sorry to have to bring it up, but what if your husband strays and leaves you?

Keep the job, you like it, jobs like that are very hard to come by, who knows what will happen with DH and his career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think? Is this something he really, really wants to do or is he like, up to you, I'm cool either way?

Sounds like OP wants her DH to do it as well.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I think if it is only 3 years I can make it work, however typically in his company the international role lasts closer to 5. I guess we will need to spend more time apart then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. DH needs to move because people in his role usually needs to move after 3ish years, either to a P/L role internationally or other companies. I can take maybe a 1 year unpaid leave and a year sabbatical, not sure I can extend too much beyond that (I can try to negotiate for online teaching, not very hopeful though)

So do long-distance for one year, then two years of leave, followed by long-distance for one final year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't give up the job, OP. Figure out how to work it so you can be apart some of the 3 years and together some of it.

A couple of things to consider - does your college/university offer free tuition to offspring of tenured faculty? If so, that's a huge bonus to throw away by giving up the job.

And I'm sorry to have to bring it up, but what if your husband strays and leaves you?

Keep the job, you like it, jobs like that are very hard to come by, who knows what will happen with DH and his career.

I agree that this should be a consideration, especially as his career sjkyrockets.

Unfortunately, he’s more likely to stray in the first place if she stays at home with the kids while he’s abroad.

The best option is to find a visiting position for part of the time.

[Anonymous]

Sabbatical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

Do you want to leave your job, temporarily or permanently? Do you want to go overseas? Would it be hard for your husband to find another job at another company?

What motivates you here?

I have to say, it doesn't sit well that the assumption is your husband's career really matters and yours is expendable.