Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are missing the point here, because they already imagine a tenured professorship to be some sort of unobtainium. But that's just the demographic of this board. Lots of people, from all walks of life and types of success, wouldn't take a tenured professorship if you forced it down their throats. If you were the Queen of England, or Serena Williams, or Taylor Swift you would give exactly zero f*cks about retaining some comparatively dull tenured professorship.

You are about to break orbit from middle-class strivership. You've made it. Don't let class assumptions hold you back.

Whatever-- if you read the post you'd see the OP likes her job. The fact that you'd find it dull is irrelevant and says more about you than what she should do.

I said "comparatively dull". Humans are great at adapting to a certain happiness set point (hedonic adaptation). Just because she's happy in her current job doesn't mean she can ONLY be happy by staying in her current job. Your post smells like fear and scarcity.

My point is that the adventures that await her will probably make her current position seem "comparatively dull". That means dull by comparison if you're able to keep up. In hindsight, her current position will be seen as the valuable and wonderful stepping stone that it is, but not as her landing place.

The adventure of being super rich and not working, you mean?

Being an expat is fun. That's something I'd suggest everyone do if they can. But OP is essentially giving up what she's worked for for the fun of a few years abroad. That seems like a bad tradeoff. Unless she IS bored and does want to quit, then it's great.

[Anonymous]

Your DH has gone pretty far in his career, with your help. If he respects you and your career, he shouldn't ask for you to give that up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. DH needs to move because people in his role usually needs to move after 3ish years, either to a P/L role internationally or other companies. I can take maybe a 1 year unpaid leave and a year sabbatical, not sure I can extend too much beyond that (I can try to negotiate for online teaching, not very hopeful though)

So do long-distance for one year, then two years of leave, followed by long-distance for one final year.

This. You are in an enviable position, OP, since you can also spend winter and summer breaks with him. Don't quit a tenured professorship!

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, I would never in a million years give up my tenured professorship for my husband’s career. You’d basically give up your career for his. Absolutely not. He’s at a good place now, making seven figures in an upper level. You guys are sitting pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

You're a full tenured professor, have 4 kids, and the oldest is 6?

That's...unusual.

[Anonymous]

What professorship pays $190k??? Talk about double brass rings…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What professorship pays $190k??? Talk about double brass rings…

Law or business, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband need to progress more? It sounds like you're in a fantastic situation right where you are.

No, I would not give up your job!

This. How much is Enough, OP?

[Anonymous]

The implicit jealousy on this thread is...astonishing.

[Anonymous]

At my institution they will allow people to move to teaching online courses temporarily (3-5 years is a lot but I've seen it) in cases like this. But there have to already be online courses or a need for online courses and you have to be able to teach them. Have you asked? Would you want to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The implicit jealousy on this thread is...astonishing.

How so? Seems like the median response is telling OP not to give up the job. Is that indicative of implicit jealousy?

[Anonymous]

I think you should go on this adventure.

[Anonymous]

The only reason I would stay in the job is for the tuition / tuition exchange possibilities for the kids. But if your DH is making 7 figures, you can afford 4 colleges tuitions. And living internationally for a few years likely will be very positive for the children - unless it's somewhere where the Americans all stick together and don't mingle with the others, then it would suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What professorship pays $190k??? Talk about double brass rings…

Law or business, most likely.

This is common even in the humanities for DC area universities

[Anonymous]

I've lived abroad and found it relatively easy to get jobs teaching at universities with a US PhD, although this depends on the country.

Living abroad is an adventure, but it also involves a crap-ton of logistics. Some of these can be smoothed over by helpful relocation specialists. Getting your 4 children into various schools, though, involves at least some input from the parents.