Help dress me for work event at a partner’s home

[Anonymous]

Attending as a spouse - firm has a dinner to welcome partners and this one is at a private home on the weekend. It’s cold and I’m not sure what direction to go. I have a Veronica beard blazer I could wear, tweed, with jeans and boots. Too casual? I also never love wearing a blazer even though they look good, no idea why.

I have this skirt I can do with a sweater and boots:
https://www.jennikayne.com/products/sawyer-slip-skirt-umber?variant=42414588068013&utm_source=GoogleAds&utm_medium=CPC&utm_campaign=21169332134&utm_content=&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADhJxZHc2Se5a07-b5oIrC2qifP3S&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIq56zvs_rigMVok9HAR1ihREQEAQYAyABEgJWhvD_BwE

And this sweater:
https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/vince-fair-isle-raglan-crewneck-sweater-prod275320056?pimId=401247773427&utm_source=google_shopping&ecid=NMCS_GP_NC&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADuOtTcg4jO6EuUDaNcoomjoszANU&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImZSy2c_rigMVO0dHAR1k3A7xEAQYAiABEgLFz_D_BwE

Or I have this outfit I’ve worn 1000000 times and I’d likely wear it with combat-ish boots.

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/7702482?color=001


I’m a real hourglass and busty, normal bmi. The only guidance I’ve been given is not a suit, super helpful. Thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

I would assume this is “no jeans” and I’d probably wear a conservative dress or trousers.

[Anonymous]

I hate the satin slip skirts, but that’s more just that I hate them than that they’re inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the satin slip skirts, but that’s more just that I hate them than that they’re inappropriate.

really? I like them.

[Anonymous]

I would wear a winter-appropriate skirt or dress (velvet, or thin-whale corduroy that looks like velvet) with a silk scarf and ankle booties. I have a large collection of higher denier hose that I can pair with such an outfit, because I don't do bare legs in winter.

No jeans for a partner dinner in a private home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wear a winter-appropriate skirt or dress (velvet, or thin-whale corduroy that looks like velvet) with a silk scarf and ankle booties. I have a large collection of higher denier hose that I can pair with such an outfit, because I don't do bare legs in winter.

No jeans for a partner dinner in a private home.

See, I would never do a silk scarf - hate an indoor scarf, ha - and I don't have a corduroy skirt, not since I was like 6. I have a leather one and a pleated velvet one. Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

I would wear the silk skirt with a sweater of these choices. No jeans, no combat boots. You want to fit in, not stand out at a first meeting for a spouse’s job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wear the silk skirt with a sweater of these choices. No jeans, no combat boots. You want to fit in, not stand out at a first meeting for a spouse’s job.

Not a first meeting, but I get you. This is for a new partner.

[Anonymous]

I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

[Anonymous]

Jeans are too casual.

The second choice is okay but will you be hot if it’s a crowded house and warm? I’d rather wear something with a cardigan or something so if it’s warm inside you aren’t sweating. They will probably have caterers and it may be crowded.

Same issue with the third choice and I also am not crazy about combat boots for this type of event. But if your spouse is just attending as a random associate or partner, not the honoree, it’s probably not a big deal. Someone might think “oh, bob’s wife seems kind of …, arty.” So if you’re asking what’s most normal, appropriate, I would say not combat boots. But if you’re asking if you need to go about and buy some shoes that you don’t really want, I say not necessary.

The leather skirt would work, assuming it’s not very short, if you have something other than combat boots and a nicer shirt (like a silk blouse) to wear with it. I disagree with PP about a corduroy dress — that seems too casual to me.

I think the last one of these I went to was in the summer 2023 and I wore the ubiquitous anthro silk dress with like a fun belt. I can remember one in the winter where I wore black dress pants, a patterned silk shirt and a black cardigan. I can remember another in the winter or fall where I wore a boatneck ponte dress in a bright color with knee high boots and tights.

The goal here is to wear something you can stand around in ckmfortably for 2-3 hours in uncertain heat/cool, and that will not make anyone say “did she not realize she was coming to an event like this” (not too casual or super formal) or “why is she dressed like a mail order bride”. (nothing too tight, or with your T or A hanging out.). Basically if anyone remembers you, it should be for your conversation and not your clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

Oh wow girl, no. I would never. I’m only 40, I’m also a lawyer and I think that way too much for a more intimate home dinner.

[Anonymous]

How on earth can you think that jeans or combat boots are appropriate?!?! You're not working on the land or girding for war, OP. Please spare of modicum of thought to the stylistic origin of your clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual.

The second choice is okay but will you be hot if it’s a crowded house and warm? I’d rather wear something with a cardigan or something so if it’s warm inside you aren’t sweating. They will probably have caterers and it may be crowded.

Same issue with the third choice and I also am not crazy about combat boots for this type of event. But if your spouse is just attending as a random associate or partner, not the honoree, it’s probably not a big deal. Someone might think “oh, bob’s wife seems kind of …, arty.” So if you’re asking what’s most normal, appropriate, I would say not combat boots. But if you’re asking if you need to go about and buy some shoes that you don’t really want, I say not necessary.

The leather skirt would work, assuming it’s not very short, if you have something other than combat boots and a nicer shirt (like a silk blouse) to wear with it. I disagree with PP about a corduroy dress — that seems too casual to me.

I think the last one of these I went to was in the summer 2023 and I wore the ubiquitous anthro silk dress with like a fun belt. I can remember one in the winter where I wore black dress pants, a patterned silk shirt and a black cardigan. I can remember another in the winter or fall where I wore a boatneck ponte dress in a bright color with knee high boots and tights.

The goal here is to wear something you can stand around in ckmfortably for 2-3 hours in uncertain heat/cool, and that will not make anyone say “did she not realize she was coming to an event like this” (not too casual or super formal) or “why is she dressed like a mail order bride”. (nothing too tight, or with your T or A hanging out.). Basically if anyone remembers you, it should be for your conversation and not your clothes.

Thanks - I’ve been to a bunch previously but they’re at restaurants and after work. This is a Saturday and at a home, hence my hmmm. And ha, no I’m not arty, the combat boots are Chanel. Just that style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

Oh wow girl, no. I would never. I’m only 40, I’m also a lawyer and I think that way too much for a more intimate home dinner.

More appropriate than jeans or boots...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How on earth can you think that jeans or combat boots are appropriate?!?! You're not working on the land or girding for war, OP. Please spare of modicum of thought to the stylistic origin of your clothes.

lol thanks, I’m sure you’re one to advise.