Date with biglaw partner- what's the reality of their life?

[Anonymous]

I've read approximately 7000 DCUM posts about people complaining of their big law significant others' schedules. I've been talking to a guy for a bit and we're meeting for a first date this weekend. He's a big law partner at a bigger firm. In general, are their schedules as crazy as the juniors? Or have they hopefully paid their dues already?

[Anonymous]

Is he divorced with kids? I’d be way more worried re that

[Anonymous]

The bigger issue is most biglaw partners are complete narcissists with huge egos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bigger issue is most biglaw partners are complete narcissists with huge egos.

Bingo. It takes a certain type of person to survive that grind and sign up for more of it. They're often fat brutes with some charm (due to being smart). The funny thing is they make enough money and have enough power that they regularly get new women, so cheating is rampant. With their schedule, how's the wife/gf going to find out immediately?

Dating a biglaw partners is one thing but marrying them is often a disaster. So think long and hard about what you want out of the relationship because the job will always come first.

[Anonymous]

It's nice if if you like your space. If you require a lot of handholding (literally and figuratively), it isn't for you.

--Married to BigLaw partner for over a decade

[Anonymous]

Yes, he's divorced with kids but so am I.

He definitely seems charming so we will see.

[Anonymous]

Run run as fast as you can

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he's divorced with kids but so am I.

He definitely seems charming so we will see.

Narcissist.

[Anonymous]

They prioritize money and prestige over everything else. You will always be a distant, distant second unless his priorities are even more whacked and he puts you above kids. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

I realize it’s not the same, but I’m the child of a big law partner and I really don’t think my dad cheated and he’s not a crazy narcissist. My parents have had struggles in their marriage (at times I wonder why they are married) but it’s been over 50 years.

My dad tended to golf whenever he could and I feel like my mom spent a lot more of the day to day time and effort raising us, but we had good family vacations and my dad always showed up for the big stuff (school plays for instance) and often showed up for our sports games.

[Anonymous]

My husband is great. He has his own clients and I think that’s tbe key. He spent years and years in government and would leave again if he had a position he wanted. Maybe that’s the key. He is balanced, great at his job, a rainmaker, handsome, a great dad. Seriously. He’s doing spectuactuarly at his firm income wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They prioritize money and prestige over everything else. You will always be a distant, distant second unless his priorities are even more whacked and he puts you above kids. No thank you.

The best and most moral biglaw partner I know is a great dad and decent husband. The wife loves her "space" (well put above) and also enjoys the trappings of the biglaw life. For their family it's a win but the husband's limited free time is almost entirely dedicated to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is great. He has his own clients and I think that’s tbe key. He spent years and years in government and would leave again if he had a position he wanted. Maybe that’s the key. He is balanced, great at his job, a rainmaker, handsome, a great dad. Seriously. He’s doing spectuactuarly at his firm income wise.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is great. He has his own clients and I think that’s tbe key. He spent years and years in government and would leave again if he had a position he wanted. Maybe that’s the key. He is balanced, great at his job, a rainmaker, handsome, a great dad. Seriously. He’s doing spectuactuarly at his firm income wise.

Lol

Sorry you’re bitter! It’s completely true.

[Anonymous]

If he's divorved with kids he will make you sign a not very fair prenup