Girlfriend disappearing on Fridays

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I text and talk on the phone daily. We talk about what’s going on with our day and have a little call before bed on nights we don’t stay with each other. We typically spend 3-4 nights a week together. A few weeks ago she told me she’d start focusing more on work. Since then every Friday she’s gone missing. She’ll send her typical good morning text, then I don’t hear from her again until Saturday. She doesn’t respond to
My texts or answer my calls one Fridays. we used to spend Friday nights together, or sometimes we’d hang out separately with friends but give the other a heads up.

Her being nonresponsive on Fridays is bothering me. How do I bring this up without sounding like a jerk?

[Anonymous]

So she's focusing on work but willing to talk/text all week but not Friday?

She's seeing someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she's focusing on work but willing to talk/text all week but not Friday?

She's seeing someone else.

NP. Maybe. Something is off.

[Anonymous]

She works, then she goes to happy hour with friends and then goes to bed early and talk to you. Saturday.

And this is why we choose the bear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She works, then she goes to happy hour with friends and then goes to bed early and talk to you. Saturday.

And this is why we choose the bear

I don’t have a problem with her going out with friends or to bed early if she’s tired. It’s that she’s not communicating before hand. We normally tell each other if we are hanging out with friends. There’s nothing wrong with time apart. it’s just the communication dynamic is changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She works, then she goes to happy hour with friends and then goes to bed early and talk to you. Saturday.

And this is why we choose the bear

I don’t have a problem with her going out with friends or to bed early if she’s tired. It’s that she’s not communicating before hand. We normally tell each other if we are hanging out with friends. There’s nothing wrong with time apart. it’s just the communication dynamic is changing.

I agree something seems a bit off. If you've been together for awhile and all of a sudden the communication pattern has changed, that generally can be a concern. It also seems odd that her desire to focus more on her job is leading to her disappearing on Friday nights. I'd expect an increased focus on her job to cause her to be unavailable on say Tuesday, or Thursday, not Friday.

[Anonymous]

Has she started attending a religious service that night? An AA meeting?

[Anonymous]

Sus. Takes nothing to send a text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She works, then she goes to happy hour with friends and then goes to bed early and talk to you. Saturday.

And this is why we choose the bear

You can have the bear. It’s gonna maul you, you know. Enjoy that.

[Anonymous]

Definitely sus. It sounds like your serious enough of a couple to ask about it OP.

[Anonymous]

You need to do some PI work

[Anonymous]

For all we know, she could be doing Mother Teresa's work on every Friday at homeless shelter.

[Anonymous]

OPl the even bigger red flag here is that you've been dating a while, you spend 3-4 nights together every week and -- yet you still can't just say direclty to her, "Hey, there's been what I perceive as a big change in our relationship and it's the communication on Fridays; let's talk about that."

If you're together as much as you say you are, and in a committed relationship (and daily communication plus sex/being together most nights in a week IS just that, a committed relationship) -- what is holding you back from just saying you are puzzled and feel left out of the loop and then asking her what's going on? Why are you afraid of sound like (your word) a "jerk" and you're crowdsourcing this? Aside from the Friday silence, there's a larger problem looming: You can't just talk directly to the person with whom you're in a relationship. Why not? It's relationship 101; if you can't simply bring it up and ask, directly and without accusations, you and she have another kind of communication problem. Why fear bringing it up, OP?

Of course the DCUM hive mind leapt to "she's cheating" and got nasty with details. Ignore those trolling children. Be an adult and simply say, you miss being in touch and want to know what's changed. Listen to her answer and don't leap to any conclusions. I do think she shoould have told you what's up, not because she HAS to, but because she should want to, if you two are in love and share your daily lives and news regularly. So why isn't she sharing about this?

[Anonymous]

It’s weird. Id try to find out before directly asking because she’s hiding something. Maybe seeing someone married.

[Anonymous]

So when you talk on Thursday how is the conversation left?
I don’t understand how you just don’t discuss Fridays.