Husband’s Work Wives. Why?

Anonymous
We move every two years for his job. Every move he will attach to a female friend who becomes his new best friend and will text non stop. Most of the time being secretive.

He swears nothing physical has ever happened, and I believe him.

He admits, but he doesn’t know why he continues to search for numerous female approval.

My question is why do men do this?

We are both going to seek counseling, but until then can someone enlighten me please?
Anonymous
You really need to ask why men do this?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You really need to ask why men do this?


Yes please. Do I need to divorce?
Anonymous
I think this is a husband thing, not a man thing
Anonymous
Mine did this, too. Eventually it did cross the line and he left me for her.

They did not live happily ever after, but we are still divorced.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You really need to ask why men do this?


Yes please. Do I need to divorce?


Set him free so he can be with his APs
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You really need to ask why men do this?


Yes please. Do I need to divorce?

You married a man with a flexible moral compass.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Mine did this, too. Eventually it did cross the line and he left me for her.

They did not live happily ever after, but we are still divorced.




Op here. Thanks for sharing. It helps knowing I’m not alone. Sorry you had to go through that too.
Anonymous
Super weird and shady. This is not normal and if he hasn’t strayed yet, it’s quite probable he will in the future.
Anonymous
Maybe he is gay? Just throwing that out there as a possibility.
Men usually will not seek female friends for non-sexual purposes unless they are gay.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Super weird and shady. This is not normal and if he hasn’t strayed yet, it’s quite probable he will in the future.


Agree with this. There is a new guy at work who is dangerously close to a couple female coworkers. It's the first time I'm really seeing this work husband/wife dynamic in a straight man. One of the "wives" was laughing about how she didn't understand why his girlfriend hated her so much. It's just a matter of time before they sleep together. They are way too flirty and touchy for it to be platonic (she's single). It's insanely uncomfortable to watch and I try to avoid time on that unit when they are working.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mine did this, too. Eventually it did cross the line and he left me for her.

They did not live happily ever after, but we are still divorced.




Op here. Thanks for sharing. It helps knowing I’m not alone. Sorry you had to go through that too.


I’m the PP - there had been other “work wives” but those were much more normal work friendships with no secrecy. Those were not at all questionable and the women were lovely. The last one was when it got weird – suddenly working longer hours and never more than a foot from the phone and on it 24/7. It was not the same vibe at all. I’m not saying all men with close female work friends are cheaters, but you probably know in your gut that this is a problem or you wouldn’t have posted.

It sucks and I’m really sorry.
Anonymous
Seems pretty simple: It feeds his ego to have positive attention from a woman.
Anonymous
My work husband was just really smart good guy and I was organized and assertive.

We worked well together and I’m not competing for his job.

Men are often not collaborative so maybe he seeks some who are.

Nothing even came close to happening but he had 2 other work wives as he moved through the organization.

All of us are similar in that we are organized and assertive.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My work husband was just really smart good guy and I was organized and assertive.

We worked well together and I’m not competing for his job.

Men are often not collaborative so maybe he seeks some who are.

Nothing even came close to happening but he had 2 other work wives as he moved through the organization.

All of us are similar in that we are organized and assertive.


I think there is a difference between being friends and working with a guy and him being a work husband. I have friendships with several of my male colleagues but I would not call them work husbands.
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