Where did you find your affair partner?

[Anonymous]

Gross topic, I know. I'm a terrible person. I hate myself, too.

I'm 34, stuck in a marriage with a man who wants a mommy to care for him. I can't divorce him without losing half of my time with my kid. I'm the financial breadwinner. He hasn't taken me on a date in 5 years. He won't book a plane ticket or a vacation unless I do it for him, and all he has to do is show up at the airport. He couldn't tell you where to buy our child's uniform for the fall. He has never scheduled a doctor or dentist appointment; I do it all and manage the bills, groceries, cooking, and cleaning independently. I work full-time, have a contracting gig on the side, and am working on my master's degree. He has no interest in advancement, higher education, politics, art, or culture. He was hot when I met him at 25, and he was 30, but the lust is gone now. On our wedding day, he told his mother: "It's ok, Mom, Larla will take care of me now..."

I wish to find a 55-year-old man with adult children who wants a travel partner/lover without commitment to a relationship or entanglement. I can't go on dating apps without someone recognizing me; there's no way I would engage in a work affair. I wish I could find someone interested in the same things I am. My husband doesn't read.

[Anonymous]

55? Easy. Go to the bar at a higher end airport hotel. You’ll meet some miserable VP looking for a younger girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

I think a 55 year old is likely looking for a relationship and a woman to take care of him.

I think you can find a single man your own age for casual only. But they won’t be going on trips or engaging in intellectual conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:55? Easy. Go to the bar at a higher end airport hotel. You’ll meet some miserable VP looking for a younger girlfriend.

This is ideal. I would love to meet a man this age just looking for some fun, travel and conversation. As the poster above mentioned, this is not an option with men my age.

[Anonymous]

My advice is that you take your DH on a week-long couples vacation before you write him off.

It has to be a no kids vacation.

And you need 2 days to fight/decompress/resent on the front end so you can enjoy the rest.

On the last day, if it went well, have a heartfelt discussion about the tasks you need him to do more of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice is that you take your DH on a week-long couples vacation before you write him off.

It has to be a no kids vacation.

And you need 2 days to fight/decompress/resent on the front end so you can enjoy the rest.

On the last day, if it went well, have a heartfelt discussion about the tasks you need him to do more of.

Haha
Gold

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Having lots of sex and vacations with my own 54-year old husband. Empty nest and loving life. The last thing either wants is an entanglement with someone with young kids and drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Having lots of sex and vacations with my own 54-year old husband. Empty nest and loving life. The last thing either wants is an entanglement with someone with young kids and drama.

Helpful post.

NP

[Anonymous]

I am 45 and freshly divorced. I don't need the blue pill (yet lol). I am tall and handsome. I would be the ideal guy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Having lots of sex and vacations with my own 54-year old husband. Empty nest and loving life. The last thing either wants is an entanglement with someone with young kids and drama.

Helpful post.

NP

It’s a subtle hint that OP should be focusing on creating a long and happy marriage in any way she can. Looking outside the marriage and focusing only on the negatives in a marriage instead of communicating, and doing things to nurture the relationship so you can be in the same position in empty nest …I’ve seen too many like her blow up marriages in their 30s, 40s and 50s because life got a little stale, not realizing marriages have ups and downs and low and high times.

She needs to just divorce if she wants to bang other people. Hard stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 and freshly divorced. I don't need the blue pill (yet lol). I am tall and handsome. I would be the ideal guy for you.

You really have no morals do you? You want to bang another guy’s wife?

[Anonymous]

An over 55 is going to have a hard time getting it up

[Anonymous]

As someone who had to tell their kids they are getting a divorce today becausemy DH cheated, don't do it. Not worth destroying your family.

Bloom where you are planted OP, or offer your DH a clean and honest break. You can find fulfillment without being unethical.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm…divorce? While being a single parent is no walk in the park, it’ll be a huge relief to only have your child to take care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross topic, I know. I'm a terrible person. I hate myself, too.

I'm 34, stuck in a marriage with a man who wants a mommy to care for him. I can't divorce him without losing half of my time with my kid. I'm the financial breadwinner. He hasn't taken me on a date in 5 years. He won't book a plane ticket or a vacation unless I do it for him, and all he has to do is show up at the airport. He couldn't tell you where to buy our child's uniform for the fall. He has never scheduled a doctor or dentist appointment; I do it all and manage the bills, groceries, cooking, and cleaning independently. I work full-time, have a contracting gig on the side, and am working on my master's degree. He has no interest in advancement, higher education, politics, art, or culture. He was hot when I met him at 25, and he was 30, but the lust is gone now. On our wedding day, he told his mother: "It's ok, Mom, Larla will take care of me now..."

I wish to find a 55-year-old man with adult children who wants a travel partner/lover without commitment to a relationship or entanglement. I can't go on dating apps without someone recognizing me; there's no way I would engage in a work affair. I wish I could find someone interested in the same things I am. My husband doesn't read.

If your husband is this much of a manbaby, he's eventually going to give up on 50/50 custody. So I think you should divorce him comfortably knowing pretty soon you will have all your time with your kids. Unless all this is really about is wanting some strange on the side. Sorry OP.