21-year-old not home or answering calls or texts...what would you do?

[Anonymous]

In case anybody is up and can calm me down. My son is home for the summer. He went out last night to celebrate his 21st with friends and is not home at after 4 in the morning. Has not answered the phone or texts after I first checked in with him a little before 3. My mind has gone to the absolute worst places and I don't know what to do. We have never added Find My or Life 360 because I have never needed to. I have always trusted him and he makes decent decisions. Is there anything I can other than just wait and hope everything is okay? Do I call hospitals?

[Anonymous]

He's sleeping it off at a friend's place. Go back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't help that in the last hour while just sitting worrying, I have heard what sounds like gunshots twice. I am not putting those two things together, but it's just disconcerting.

[Anonymous]

It’s really hard. But all you can do is wait. PP is right that most likely he went to a friends house. Hopefully when he gets home you can discuss courtesy and put into place some guidelines so you don’t have more sleepless nights.

[Anonymous]

It’s understandable that you are considering the worst case scenario, but also give your brain the opportunity to consider the best case scenario. Which is that he’s sleeping it off at his friends house, like the pp said. The “gunshots” are fireworks. It’s so natural to worry, I would too! But I’m here remembering my 21st and it was a lot of fun and my mom had no clue where I was for the night. It’s a blessing and a curse to have these phones.

Your kid will be fine, probably hung over

[Anonymous]

I hy were you checking in with a 21 yr old at almost 3am? And why would you expect to check in an hour later? Give him some space away from you! I’d stop responding just out of pure annoyance!

[Anonymous]

Maybe he met a girl.

[Anonymous]

Please update us, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he met a girl.

Likely this

[Anonymous]

I can’t. I literally can’t. This is a grown ass adult not a child.

[Anonymous]

He’s sleeping.
Find something to do to take your mind off it until noon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s understandable that you are considering the worst case scenario, but also give your brain the opportunity to consider the best case scenario. Which is that he’s sleeping it off at his friends house, like the pp said. The “gunshots” are fireworks. It’s so natural to worry, I would too! But I’m here remembering my 21st and it was a lot of fun and my mom had no clue where I was for the night. It’s a blessing and a curse to have these phones.

Your kid will be fine, probably hung over

All of this, OP. He's growing up.

[Anonymous]

I would not call hospitals, OP.

[Anonymous]

Disregard the mean posters. I am a worrier and would ask my kids to send me a text telling me if they didn’t plan to come home. I didn’t need specifics, just in for the night and be home tomorrow. Update us later this morning.

[Anonymous]

He will be ok, op.