Is cohabitation before marriage a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Do you think it’s a good idea to cohabitate together before marriage? What’s your reason? For how long should you do it for?

I think I read some research in the past that said couples who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce. I’m confused about why that is?

EDIT: accidentally posted in family forum so reposted here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s a good idea. Much easier to break up and move out than to divorce. Do it for six months to a year. It’s a good compatibility test.

[Anonymous]

Yes very good idea. Those “studies” you cite are like forty years old, had questionable methods and are typically just cited by religious people. Honestly at this point I think they might be mythology. People were citing those same studies when I was a teen in the 90s.

In short: cohabitation is bad when you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, but it’s good when you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t move in with someone because they are a flaky SO and moving in is the best you can get out of them. But do move in with someone if you have a good dating relationship and are both on the same page about likely moving towards marriage.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people move in together because they think it’s the next step, to save money, to test compatibility. But then it becomes much more difficult to end a relationship once you’ve moved in. It’s no longer just a simple conversation and then moving on with your life. Some couples remain together when they’d otherwise have broken up. Also studies in this century have shown that couples usually are not on the same page when it comes to cohabitation. In heterosexual relationships, women often see it as a step toward marriage while men do not.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Those who are against cohabitation tend to be more religious and less likely to divorce anyway.

I lived with 3 people before ultimately living with and marrying my husband. Had I not done it that way, I would’ve missed some real red flags before marriage

[Anonymous]

Yes ideally at least 1 year. You should really get to know each other, the good and the bad and how you deal with the bad together, before getting engaged.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

If you want to know what someone's really like, you have to spend this kind of time with them. If you want to oops someone into dealing with your "stuff" for life, you make up weird rules about neither cohabitating before marriage nor divorcing after.

One is a sane approach to learning the reality of life with another person before you commit, and the other is some skyfriend nonsense.

[Anonymous]

No. No. No. Bad idea.

Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free?

[Anonymous]

Not a good idea.
It is sinful to have sex and cohabitate before marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. No. No. Bad idea.

Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free?

Women aren’t cows; grow up.

Living together is fantastic practice for possibly spending the rest of your lives married to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a good idea.
It is sinful to have sex and cohabitate before marriage.

Hahahahaha, that’s funny.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely a good idea. You want to see what the other person considers dirty vs messy, if they slam cabinets or close them gently and overall are they easy on their things or hard on them, do they have a no-shoes household or not, do they have guests over a lot, etc.

[Anonymous]

We’re not religious and didn’t live together. We enjoyed our roommates a lot. I owned my own house and knew that when we married and moved in together and my roommates would move on. I needed the income too to pay for my wedding. Dhs rent was 1/3 of what each of my roommates paid because he lived in an awful place.

There wasn’t anything I didn’t already know about dh that living together would have shown. I think a lot of people live together to “test drive” marriage because they aren’t sure of the person enough to marry. Dh and I just always were completely in love and there weren’t any second thoughts.

We’re millennials and I think it’s rare. I don’t know anyone else who didn’t live together prior to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely a good idea. You want to see what the other person considers dirty vs messy, if they slam cabinets or close them gently and overall are they easy on their things or hard on them, do they have a no-shoes household or not, do they have guests over a lot, etc.

If you don’t already know all of that after dating for a few months, you’re an idiot. Those are very basic things that anyone would notice.