Fussy, finicky people

[Anonymous]

I cannot stand people who try to make their high-maintenance, fussy, finicky ways someone else’s problem. If you maintain your own crazy, that’s great; I have a friend who is like that, she takes care of her own pickiness, no problem.

SIL is visiting and forgot conditioner. She came upstairs and said the guest bathroom conditioner “wouldn’t work for her,” and do we have “something better.” I showed her two more options and she made much of how no, nothing we have “works.” I shrugged and told her she can borrow my car if she wants to go to CVS. She’s put out and was asking me to double-check the house. No, babe, if your needs were that important, you would have packed your own. Here are the keys. Stop whining at me.

DH is currently gearing up to make us late to a gathering we have to drive more than an hour to get to because he is at the store buying ingredients for a cake he does not have time to make before we are supposed to depart. God forbid he go shopping last night or earlier today, no, it has to be done two hours before we have to leave. I told him just buy one of the Wegmans desserts, they look impressive and we know from experience that at least two of them also taste really good. But oh no he “has” to make something himself.

Gah, just go with the flow, people. Or as I said, maintain your own crazy.

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have written this. But SIL is not allowed to stay with us for this reason.

DH’s best friend’s wife is like this. It gets irritating to be around her.

[Anonymous]

These are two different situations. One is a rude house guest—offering three different conditioner options is above and beyond what you need to do.

Husband having an interest you think is too time consuming and silly is different. As a husband who enjoys making nice things and sharing with friends, my wife's "just get it at wegmans, no one will know the difference" drives me berserk. It's genuinely something that matters to me, and makes me happy to provide my friends and family with nice things I've made. Can I be a little more aware of time and effort and its impact on certain days, sure... but it's not an example of inherent fussiness.

Being a real B about the host's selection of conditioners is.

But REALLY what sounds like is going on is that you've had enough of your husband's family (including him) already this weekend. Can't change the husband, can learn to cope with in-laws. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are two different situations. One is a rude house guest—offering three different conditioner options is above and beyond what you need to do.

Husband having an interest you think is too time consuming and silly is different. As a husband who enjoys making nice things and sharing with friends, my wife's "just get it at wegmans, no one will know the difference" drives me berserk. It's genuinely something that matters to me, and makes me happy to provide my friends and family with nice things I've made. Can I be a little more aware of time and effort and its impact on certain days, sure... but it's not an example of inherent fussiness.

Being a real B about the host's selection of conditioners is.

But REALLY what sounds like is going on is that you've had enough of your husband's family (including him) already this weekend. Can't change the husband, can learn to cope with in-laws. Good luck!

Do you get that if “it’s genuinely something that matters,” you need to PLAN AHEAD, THINK THINGS THROUGH, and go grocery shopping the night before, earlier in the day, or at some other time that makes zero sense for the departure time? If something is sooooooo important, you take care of it with enough time to also depart at the time you said we needed to depart, point blank period.

[Anonymous]

Didn't we already have a "fussy, finicky people" thread? I remember an OP complaining about her DH and how difficult he was to order at Chick-Fil-A.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't we already have a "fussy, finicky people" thread? I remember an OP complaining about her DH and how difficult he was to order at Chick-Fil-A.

YES! Here it is. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1176459.page

[Anonymous]

You handled the first one fine and you can’t let that kind of stuff get to you. People are weird and wrong sometimes.

For the husband, either accept he can make you late or drive your own car there.

[Anonymous]

Was she trying to act like Pantene is not good enough? Trying to show off her hair care?

[Anonymous]

I’m fussy because I have allergies and chronic pain. I bring my own shampoo. I would never expect someone to provide me shampoo.

However your perspective on your husband is odd. Why shouldn’t he bake a cake from scratch? He’s a grown up. Why shouldn’t he be able to spend his time that way if he wants to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fussy because I have allergies and chronic pain. I bring my own shampoo. I would never expect someone to provide me shampoo.

However your perspective on your husband is odd. Why shouldn’t he bake a cake from scratch? He’s a grown up. Why shouldn’t he be able to spend his time that way if he wants to?

Bake away! Just think about it, time it out, and don’t act like the best time to shop for ingredients is less than two hours before the time you said we needed to leave the house.

I mean you get it wouldn’t make sense to start knitting a scarf as a Christmas gift on Christmas morning, right?

[Anonymous]

I can’t stand it when people are like this about food. Unless you have a severe allergy, I don’t want to hear about your likes and dislikes. You are an adult, not a toddler. Eat what you are given, or quietly move it to the side of the plate. Don’t announce “I don’t eat fish!” like it is some kind of badge of honor, rather than a symptom of your limited horizons.

[Anonymous]

The OP doesn’t care if the DH makes a cake, but that he waited until the last minute and they will be late.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to bake. But plan your day and don’t ruin plans because you want to bake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t stand it when people are like this about food. Unless you have a severe allergy, I don’t want to hear about your likes and dislikes. You are an adult, not a toddler. Eat what you are given, or quietly move it to the side of the plate. Don’t announce “I don’t eat fish!” like it is some kind of badge of honor, rather than a symptom of your limited horizons.

Agree. Absolutely ask and discuss if you have allergies or restrictions. But no one cares that you just don’t like eggplant or cheese.

[Anonymous]

And imho the worst thing about high-maintenance, fussy, finicky people is: they either think this makes them an interesting person, a person who is very interesting OR this indicates they have high standards and the rest of us should be very impressed by that.