Fussy, finicky people who can’t just go with the flow

[Anonymous]

So irritating! I love my husband, but seriously, everything is always a production. We recently went to see a light show, and it was past dinner time, so I’m putting in a Chick-fil-A order for pickup on my phone (birthday kid’s request, and we knew this was their pick before we left the house). “Wellllll, I don’t knowwwwww, I need to look at the menu.” It’s Chick-fil-A. You get a sandwich, nuggets or a salad, pretty much. “Read me the mennnuuuuuu” and then proceeds to get a regular sandwich, like he always does.

His parents are the same way. I can’t just throw out an idea, every detail has to be picked over. “Do you want to see a kids’ movie today? The girls want to go see ‘Migration.’” Well what’s it about, blah blah blah…it’s a kid movie. About ducks. “Well let me read about it, gee, I don’t know.” It is a kid movie. I’m paying. In or out. “Well what are the times.” Well, 11:30, 2, 3:40. “WELLLLLLL, I don’t KNOWWWWWW…” You have nothing else to do today. You are parked on my sofa. In or out.

I just can’t stand how some adults don’t get that not everything is a production, not every single meal is super important, not every single activity is super important, it’s about the big picture and the flow of the day. Just go along to get along, sometimes! In or out!

[Anonymous]

I’m like you, OP, and then I tell myself that it’s really not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Your approach probably drives them just as crazy.

[Anonymous]

Some people need more time, OP. If you want to just go ahead and make the decision, go ahead. Either choose something for him, or put your order in, and let him order on his own when he goes to pick up your order.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

Well, certainly, but some of us know the difference between working on cancer treatments and getting tired, hungry kids some fast food as requested by the birthday girl on the way home from an excursion. I’m not rushing anyone along when ordering at a fine dining establishment. There is an art to knowing when to be a perfectionist and when to go with the flow. I think it’s a valuable skill. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So irritating! I love my husband, but seriously, everything is always a production. We recently went to see a light show, and it was past dinner time, so I’m putting in a Chick-fil-A order for pickup on my phone (birthday kid’s request, and we knew this was their pick before we left the house). “Wellllll, I don’t knowwwwww, I need to look at the menu.” It’s Chick-fil-A. You get a sandwich, nuggets or a salad, pretty much. “Read me the mennnuuuuuu” and then proceeds to get a regular sandwich, like he always does.

His parents are the same way. I can’t just throw out an idea, every detail has to be picked over. “Do you want to see a kids’ movie today? The girls want to go see ‘Migration.’” Well what’s it about, blah blah blah…it’s a kid movie. About ducks. “Well let me read about it, gee, I don’t know.” It is a kid movie. I’m paying. In or out. “Well what are the times.” Well, 11:30, 2, 3:40. “WELLLLLLL, I don’t KNOWWWWWW…” You have nothing else to do today. You are parked on my sofa. In or out.

I just can’t stand how some adults don’t get that not everything is a production, not every single meal is super important, not every single activity is super important, it’s about the big picture and the flow of the day. Just go along to get along, sometimes! In or out!

If you know these people are like this, why are you inviting them to come along? Ditch your husband and enjoy your lightshow with the people who know how to go with the flow!

[Anonymous]

But OP...YOU are making a decision, an determining what the plan is, and then asking people to either completely agree with you or not. You aren't approaching this in a colloborative way. You sound very my way or the highway.

[Anonymous]

You just sound impatient…none of what you’ve described is all that fussy or finicky…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So irritating! I love my husband, but seriously, everything is always a production. We recently went to see a light show, and it was past dinner time, so I’m putting in a Chick-fil-A order for pickup on my phone (birthday kid’s request, and we knew this was their pick before we left the house). “Wellllll, I don’t knowwwwww, I need to look at the menu.” It’s Chick-fil-A. You get a sandwich, nuggets or a salad, pretty much. “Read me the mennnuuuuuu” and then proceeds to get a regular sandwich, like he always does.

His parents are the same way. I can’t just throw out an idea, every detail has to be picked over. “Do you want to see a kids’ movie today? The girls want to go see ‘Migration.’” Well what’s it about, blah blah blah…it’s a kid movie. About ducks. “Well let me read about it, gee, I don’t know.” It is a kid movie. I’m paying. In or out. “Well what are the times.” Well, 11:30, 2, 3:40. “WELLLLLLL, I don’t KNOWWWWWW…” You have nothing else to do today. You are parked on my sofa. In or out.

I just can’t stand how some adults don’t get that not everything is a production, not every single meal is super important, not every single activity is super important, it’s about the big picture and the flow of the day. Just go along to get along, sometimes! In or out!

If you know these people are like this, why are you inviting them to come along? Ditch your husband and enjoy your lightshow with the people who know how to go with the flow!

OP here. I did, actually, keep it moving about the movie tickets. The time was coming up, they were “leaning toward a no,” so I bought tickets on the Regal app for just me and my kids. They had more than an hour to decide, and once I decided on the movie time that would work best. I let them know. I also let them know what time I was ordering the tickets. Then, as we were getting shoes on, they were grousing about it. I said they were welcome to hop in the car and buy their tickets at the kiosk, but they said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

Well, certainly, but some of us know the difference between working on cancer treatments and getting tired, hungry kids some fast food as requested by the birthday girl on the way home from an excursion. I’m not rushing anyone along when ordering at a fine dining establishment. There is an art to knowing when to be a perfectionist and when to go with the flow. I think it’s a valuable skill. -OP

Another valuable skill is to know who to be with for certain activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So irritating! I love my husband, but seriously, everything is always a production. We recently went to see a light show, and it was past dinner time, so I’m putting in a Chick-fil-A order for pickup on my phone (birthday kid’s request, and we knew this was their pick before we left the house). “Wellllll, I don’t knowwwwww, I need to look at the menu.” It’s Chick-fil-A. You get a sandwich, nuggets or a salad, pretty much. “Read me the mennnuuuuuu” and then proceeds to get a regular sandwich, like he always does.

His parents are the same way. I can’t just throw out an idea, every detail has to be picked over. “Do you want to see a kids’ movie today? The girls want to go see ‘Migration.’” Well what’s it about, blah blah blah…it’s a kid movie. About ducks. “Well let me read about it, gee, I don’t know.” It is a kid movie. I’m paying. In or out. “Well what are the times.” Well, 11:30, 2, 3:40. “WELLLLLLL, I don’t KNOWWWWWW…” You have nothing else to do today. You are parked on my sofa. In or out.

I just can’t stand how some adults don’t get that not everything is a production, not every single meal is super important, not every single activity is super important, it’s about the big picture and the flow of the day. Just go along to get along, sometimes! In or out!

If you know these people are like this, why are you inviting them to come along? Ditch your husband and enjoy your lightshow with the people who know how to go with the flow!

OP here. I did, actually, keep it moving about the movie tickets. The time was coming up, they were “leaning toward a no,” so I bought tickets on the Regal app for just me and my kids. They had more than an hour to decide, and once I decided on the movie time that would work best. I let them know. I also let them know what time I was ordering the tickets. Then, as we were getting shoes on, they were grousing about it. I said they were welcome to hop in the car and buy their tickets at the kiosk, but they said no.

So these people like grousing too. Why did you marry into this family? They sound awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, I couldn't live with you either. I am a perfectionist sort of person who married another perfectionist sort of a person and we had perfectionist kids. It's a wonder we can get anything done! But when we do, we're happy and the quality is great

We're research scientists, BTW.
If ever you get cancer, you'll be reassured to know that the people who worked on your treatment didn't go: "Eh what the heck, Molecule A is practically the same as Molecule B: just throw whichever in the mix. DONE!"

It takes all kinds, right?

Well, certainly, but some of us know the difference between working on cancer treatments and getting tired, hungry kids some fast food as requested by the birthday girl on the way home from an excursion. I’m not rushing anyone along when ordering at a fine dining establishment. There is an art to knowing when to be a perfectionist and when to go with the flow. I think it’s a valuable skill. -OP

PP you replied to. Sorry, I disagree entirely. Just because it's lowly fast-food, doesn't mean every item is the same. Just because it's a kid movie, doesn't mean there isn't a wide range of quality. It seems as though you care more about getting through the day, even if you don't enjoy it, than you care about savoring each moment. That's unutterably strange to me.

I actually don't know any people like you, OP. None of my friends or relatives are as impatient/impulsive and seemingly un-discerning as you. I agree that extreme personalities are always a little difficult, but in the case you're describing, I have to wonder if you're the extreme personality.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is why I don’t let wishy-washy people in on any planning, including food orders. We got burned at the beach one too many times…by the time ILs and DH’s aunt were done talking about where to order from and actually got the order together, it was super late and Restaurant X wasn’t doing take-out orders anymore. That kind of thing happened a lot.

Now at the beach, I order family style and I tell them I’m taking votes on Restaurants 1, 2, or 3. If you don’t tell me your vote by 5 p.m., you don’t get a vote.