AITA? Teens and extended summer trips

[Anonymous]

Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

This is hilarious.

DH is shorthand for husband. They are married and until they divorce they both have full custody of their children and there is no scenario where a summer trip would be a legal issue.

It sounds like the husband is jealous the mom and kids are going to have fun without him.

[Anonymous]

How do your kids feel about being away from their friends and dad for two months? How does your DH feel about being away from his kids and wife for two months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

OMG, what a strange and weird person you are. It’s not that he said he refuses to let them go, and withheld consent, he’s just not happy about it. He never did anything with them during the summer anyway. So we’d all just be sitting at home all summer and do nothing if it were up to him. What a peach you are. Go somewhere else with your fake “legal” statements. What a loser you are.

[Anonymous]

Tell him to plan a weeklong trip in the middle of your 2 months for the whole family. That should cut down on the time apart. Plus it also puts the burden on him to do the work to find something cool that he wants to do and the kids like. Tell him to do the work or stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do your kids feel about being away from their friends and dad for two months? How does your DH feel about being away from his kids and wife for two months?

The kids are having fun. As I said, if I didn’t do this, they’d be sitting at home all summer.

[Anonymous]

Teens want it. You want it. There is no custody plan you are violating so no legal issue. Go for it. He can deal with his feelings or figure out a plan to join for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

This is hilarious.

DH is shorthand for husband. They are married and until they divorce they both have full custody of their children and there is no scenario where a summer trip would be a legal issue.

It sounds like the husband is jealous the mom and kids are going to have fun without him.

I honestly don’t get how people are saying this is okay. So as a mom who has a non telework friendly job, my teleworking DH can just inform me that he is taking the kids to spend the entire summer with his family in another state and I have no recourse to prevent him from doing so and effectively depriving me of seeing my children for 8-10 weeks? Thankfully he isn’t an a**hole and would never dream of doing so but still that just doesn’t seem right.

What if rather than being teens the children were preschool aged or younger? Does that change your perspective? This isn’t a case of DH just being jealous of missing out on a fun experience but rather a significant chunk of time in his children’s life.

[Anonymous]

I can see why DH is upset. And your attitude in the OP and subsequent weirdly aggressive additional post suggests that you don’t care about him or his feelings. You asked if YATA. Someone indicated you might be. You got upset.

It sounds great for you and the kids but not your DH. Can’t you reach a compromise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

This is hilarious.

DH is shorthand for husband. They are married and until they divorce they both have full custody of their children and there is no scenario where a summer trip would be a legal issue.

It sounds like the husband is jealous the mom and kids are going to have fun without him.

I honestly don’t get how people are saying this is okay. So as a mom who has a non telework friendly job, my teleworking DH can just inform me that he is taking the kids to spend the entire summer with his family in another state and I have no recourse to prevent him from doing so and effectively depriving me of seeing my children for 8-10 weeks? Thankfully he isn’t an a**hole and would never dream of doing so but still that just doesn’t seem right.

What if rather than being teens the children were preschool aged or younger? Does that change your perspective? This isn’t a case of DH just being jealous of missing out on a fun experience but rather a significant chunk of time in his children’s life.

So even if it were a great opportunity for your kids, you'd say no because it's not good for you?

That's a bummer.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't YOU be sad and annoyed if your spouse anounced they were taking off for the summer with your kids? Sure, you planned something for the summer that was in-person, because you never dreamed your spouse would do that to you.

I have taken my kids to my home country while my husband needed to work here. It was only for a couple of weeks, and he still a little bummed, because he - gasp! - likes us and wants to spend time with us.

I don't see how you can't understand that, unless you have it in for your husband and are casting about for reasons to get annoyed with him and, in the future, divorce.

If I were you, I would halve that vacation time, so he see his kids this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is right? I work fully remote and have permission to work from anywhere. So during the summer I am talking the teens to my hometown (amazing, cool city) for 2 months. Kids love it. DH put himself in a position where it’s a bit harder to join, due to a complicated per situation he caused himself. Also he just doesn’t want to do it. Now he’s angry. AITA?

Yes, not only are YTA but your DH also has grounds for legal proceedings. You don’t get to unilaterally decide to relocate your kids for two months and deprive the other parent of access without his consent.

OMG, what a strange and weird person you are. It’s not that he said he refuses to let them go, and withheld consent, he’s just not happy about it. He never did anything with them during the summer anyway. So we’d all just be sitting at home all summer and do nothing if it were up to him. What a peach you are. Go somewhere else with your fake “legal” statements. What a loser you are.

Wow! Why did you ask if you don’t really want to hear anyone’s opinion? And then you call them a loser? Are you 12?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this situation. DH is a great father, but he probably love to have a teen free situation at home in the short term.

[Anonymous]

I think this sounds perfectly fine. Why can't DH come for a few long weekends?