Middleaged women and smut

[Anonymous]

I am not sure where to post this, so apologies if this belongs in the relationships forum... I would just like to talk this out with some middle aged women.

I am female, 47, married (technically), professional, have one child who is reasonably independent (finally, thank God).....I expected to be settling into some lovely sedate middle act now that the frenetic years of child rearing and leaning in are over. Instead I find myself addicted to the most vile romance novels/series, if not straight up smut. What is this? A midlife crisis? Hormones going crazy one last time? Does this pass? When?

My objections are that it is so undignified somehow to be stuck in a teenage frame of mind at my stage in life. That it is so unproductive. I used to read real books about philosophy and art. I used to be a fuller, happier, more original person.

Commiseration, advice from other women who have been through this would be most welcome.

[Anonymous]

The horror - I'll bet you even watch Bridgerton!

By now you've earned the right to read whatever you want. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

It’s the last surge of your reproductive system and hormones. Post-menopause, whenever that is for you, you are unlikely to feel this way. Lean into it, it’s natural to feel this way!

[Anonymous]

So funny. I’m your age. I used to read good books. Now I barely read. Hoping I will tackle some midlife obstacles and get back to being a smart, well read person. I was briefly hooked on porn in my 20s as a single girl, but haven’t felt that stirring in a while.

[Anonymous]

What does "married (technically)" mean?

My take is you would have been interested in this stuff before if you weren't so focused on other goals.

It's not a hormone surge. Your brain is bored and enjoys this stuff and it's easier to read than arrange for it to be enacted in real life.

Don't be embarrassed about it. The material is repetitive. You'll eventually get bored of it and find a different hobby.

[Anonymous]

smut is such a cute word

(not sarcasm)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The horror - I'll bet you even watch Bridgerton!

By now you've earned the right to read whatever you want. Enjoy!

Yep. Bridgerton, normal people, even something in German called maxton hall....there's no end to how much nonsense i will consume....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last surge of your reproductive system and hormones. Post-menopause, whenever that is for you, you are unlikely to feel this way. Lean into it, it’s natural to feel this way!

Thank you. From your mouth to God's ear! Cannot happen quickly enough to suit me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So funny. I’m your age. I used to read good books. Now I barely read. Hoping I will tackle some midlife obstacles and get back to being a smart, well read person. I was briefly hooked on porn in my 20s as a single girl, but haven’t felt that stirring in a while.

What midlife obstacles if you don't mind my nosiness? Maybe what I need are some urgent targets I set for myself.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does "married (technically)" mean?

My take is you would have been interested in this stuff before if you weren't so focused on other goals.

It's not a hormone surge. Your brain is bored and enjoys this stuff and it's easier to read than arrange for it to be enacted in real life.

Don't be embarrassed about it. The material is repetitive. You'll eventually get bored of it and find a different hobby.

It means I actually at one time did arrange for it to be enacted and am suffering the consequences (we are middle aged now and totally unsuited to each other).

You are correct that I read a lot of this rubbish as a bored teenager and am embarrassed to find myself in that place even after everything I have seen/ learned.

[Anonymous]

I can relate! Around your age, I read so many stupid romance books. I agree with the PP about the last gasp of reproductive hormones. I'm in menopause now and opened up my Kindle on vacation to reread a few of those and I couldn't get through the first couple of chapters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate! Around your age, I read so many stupid romance books. I agree with the PP about the last gasp of reproductive hormones. I'm in menopause now and opened up my Kindle on vacation to reread a few of those and I couldn't get through the first couple of chapters.

thank you! that is reassuring. my 60+ personal assistant reads bodice rippers on breaks and i wondered if i was also headed down that path....(i don't want this for myself. my PA is a lovely person and can do what works for her obviously).

[Anonymous]

The technical part of your marriage is the issue so the books fulfill some of your needs. If the marriage problem isn’t solvable, enjoy the books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last surge of your reproductive system and hormones. Post-menopause, whenever that is for you, you are unlikely to feel this way. Lean into it, it’s natural to feel this way!

This. Enjoy/suffer it now, because when it’s over, it’s over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the last surge of your reproductive system and hormones. Post-menopause, whenever that is for you, you are unlikely to feel this way. Lean into it, it’s natural to feel this way!

Absolutely this! Perimenopause is wild.