School refusal after suspension
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
DS was bullied throughout 3rd and 4th grade so we pulled him out of his private to try our well-regarded public. It hasn't gone well. Just before Christmas, he knocked out a tooth after a classmate tripped him. In March, the same classmate jokingly stuck his foot out again when DS walked by. DS shoved him and received a two-day suspension.
Since then, the bullying has gotten worse. There's a large group of kids who were thrilled to see the "smart kid" suspended, and they haven't let him forget about it. He routinely pretends to be sick in the morning or shows up in the office claiming to be sick and wanting to go home. Ped found nothing physically wrong with him. Counseling hasn't helped. His grades have rapidly dropped, and I've lost count of the unexcused tardies and absences this is causing. We've asked more than once that he and the ringleader who knocked out his tooth be separated, but the party line is, "They need to learn to get along." Any advice? I'm at the end of my rope. |
Anonymous
| What is your kid getting bullied about that in both schools and various grades, he is getting bullied? This is so extreme. |
Anonymous
| Is he going to a different school next year? If so, you can ride it out for a few weeks. But If you’re in a county that has 6th in elementary, get him out of there. He’s given you every sign possible that he’s miserable so listen to him. |
Anonymous
| You need to work with the school and ask for a classroom change. |
Anonymous
At his private, it was for being too smart and not athletic. At the public, we were told it was just "teasing" the new kid and that it would get better over the course of the year. Clearly tripping someone is over the "teasing" the line. |
Anonymous
Different school, same kids (smaller district). And I'm so worried middle school bullying will be worse. |
Anonymous
Agree. So far they've refused. |
Anonymous
|
You need to try the school behind Door #3, Bob!
Seriously—time for some drastic intervention. Go meet with the head of school at a private Christian or Catholic school. Tell them you really, really need them to be the “hands and feet of Jesus” in this moment, OP, because you fear that this is your last hope to turn this ship around. Lay your cards in the table and admit to his missteps….allow them to see vulnerability, but also be sure you have a plan for holding DC accountable for his actions if he’s given another fresh start. |
Anonymous
It will be. This is a guarantee. Homeschool or make a new private school plan now. |
Anonymous
No private will take a student with a suspension for violence. |
Anonymous
| My kid did a social skills class that spent a lot of time in different techniques to cope with bullying. Something like that might be helpful for your kid. Most of the kids had ADHD, but not all of them had explicit diagnoses - some just needed help with peers. |
Anonymous
| PP here. You can also talk to the district safety coordinator, or the district elementary coordinator. The year my kid had the most issues, I just went up the chain saying that someone was going to be hurt and asking for a change of schools. We did get one for the following school year. You could ask that your kid not be scheduled in classes with the other kid, even if you can’t transfer schools. |
Anonymous
| Did you DS have disciplinary issues at the private school? You mentioned suspension in public. There may be more to the story to help posters better understand the situation. |
Anonymous
| Where is this? What kind of school condones bullying nowadays? A 2 day suspension seems pretty long for just pushing someone. |
Anonymous
| Social skills interventions for your child may also be helpful. |