I don't want him to end up in jail. Just look at the posters here calling him violent and saying he should loose more teeth rather than stick up for himself. Like it or not, that's how society thinks, and it doesn't bode well for his future. |
I agree that the bully deserved a shove (probably more), but now DS has a suspension on his record, which destroyed his chances at another private school, leaving him stuck in our local public. So, do I wish he hadn't done it? OF COURSE. It's accomplished nothing but limit his options and make the school believe he's a troublemaker. |
omGAWD. Are you OP? Unless there’s a lot more you’re not telling us, you need serious therapy for your anxiety. He pushed a kid who pretended to trip him. Not great behavior but 100% w/in normal range. |
The private school never has to see that record, and if you’re so concerned about it, you should have pushed back against the suspension. FWIW the school doesn’t believe he’s a troublemaker in some kind of eternally stigmatizing way. Schools don’t work that way. |
FWIW, I think there was like one weirdo in here who thinks your son did something wrong. The vast majority of PPs think the bully had it coming and DS's response was justified. You are worrying about the wrong things here!!! |
The only person who said he should lose more teeth in preference to employing violence is his horrible mother. There is one dissenting troll in here who is probably a school administrator or a mom of a bully who can't give a logical or moral explanation why I should go to jail if I punched her tooth out in her workplace but kiddo just needs to suck it up in school. I would be more worried about him being psychologically broken and wearing his mom's face than ending up in jail. If OP wants to never see her son again the day after he turns 18, she should keep this up. If he goes through the rest of his childhood like this, there is no way he's going to come out of it well adjusted and not hating women. All of the people telling him to suck it up and be a meat bag for a bully to physically assault are women. The people he is begging for help from are women. All these MGTOW men had crappy moms. That level of anger did not come from being ghosted a couple times by a romantic interest. If OP is afraid her son is going to jail, maybe she should pull him out of jail prep-school, which is this violent public school. What kind of lessons is he learning there? Unbelievably she asks where he learned to shove. Of course he learned it from being physically assaulted in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This kid is in survival mode, OF COURSE he will act this way! Unpopular opinion: there is nothing inherently wrong with violence. If I walked into a grocery store and starting punching people, what would happen to me? Violence is a tool, it is not inherently bad. |
She is desperate to shove him in school, the prospective new school is going to wonder why he's changing schools with only 5 weeks left over. |
1) homeschool. Join a co-op or homeschool classes or something so he can also hang out with other kids regularly but let him learn at home and decompress a bit. My goodness. He’s going to hate school and learning and middle school is going to be so much worse. Homeschooling is the way to go here. Plus he can move at his own pace through material and focus on subjects he loves.
2) keep up with rec sports. Invite friends from the sports teams over to hang out with him at your house. 3) let him play video games. Especially when the above friends come over. That’s literally what 10-11 year old boys do. Eat snacks, play video games, shoot hoops in the driveway. Repeat over and over and over again. |
What is your issue? I'm not "desperate to shove him in school." Kids go to school. It's kind of a thing, if you weren't aware. He's got to go somewhere. |
Look, everyone told us public was a better option for him, including his old private. No, he didn't have teeth knocked out there, but he DID come home crying at least one day a week, and it only escalated the older his cohort got. And I really resent you blaming all his on me when he has TWO parents and DH was the one who really pushed for public for academic reasons. |
How about you stop focusing on responding to people here and get back to focusing on what is best for your son. If you haven't gotten answers you can work with here then you are wasting your time. You and your husband and your son brainstorm this for the best available solution. I highly recommend you include your son in those discussions. |
You need to work on your kids self esteem so he doesn’t easily become a target.
1. Homeschool him for the rest of the year. 2. Put him in a karate class asap especially one that has a bully curriculum. 3. Does he have a dad or male involved in his life? His dad needs to spend one on one time with him. Get him involved in Boy Scouts. 4. Practice the cogat tests with him over the summer and request that he is retested in the fall. Make sure he’s not in the bully kids class. |
Homeschooling will NOT reduce school refusal or increase his confidence. Pleasr y’all just educate yourselves a tiny bit on the basic principles of handling anxiety and school refusal. |
Well, now you know public is not in fact a better option. What are you going to do about it? |
I would love to see your peer reviewed studies on psychological outcomes of children being forced into environments where they are being heavily bullied and physically assaulted. |