Should I fire my employee or write her up?

[Anonymous]

I’m a store manager at a retail outlet mall and recently , my assistant store manager came to me that she and who I will call employee A were talking about gay rights. Within that conversation, employee A stated that employee B made her uncomfortable a year prior because employee B made a comment that the idea of same-sex relationships are weird. Also, in that conversation was another person, who I will call employee C. I was shocked and horrified by this revelation and asked my assistant why neither employee A and C came to me right away about this highly inappropriate discussion. My assistant store manager told me that employee B made both employee A and C horribly scared of working with B, even though A and B closed multiple times together, that they're scared for their life and that must've been why they didn't say anything until a year later, employee A had been ruminating about the event since a year ago, and that employee B must've gotten up in their faces and intimidated A and C to not speak up.

Because of my training as a store manager, I’m supposed to take every harassment complaint seriously and investigate the claims because I'm legally required to. If not, me and my assistant manager can be fired from the company for knowing about this incident and not doing anything about it. I talk to my DM because I've never dealt with this before. He yelled at me that me and my assistant manager that we aren't doing our jobs properly because we should've known this conversation took place, and that this shouldn't be happening. I talk to employee A, who confirms the allegations, but she kept telling us that it happened a year ago, that she's over it, and that it's nothing and the assistant manager didn't have her consent to report it.

I then call employee C who gave me more information that employee B asked employee C's views on the political landscape and asked if C believed in God. Unfortunately, neither employee A and C made it known to employee B that the behavior was making them uncomfortable, there was no repeated discussions after this incident, employee B doesn’t have a record of anything and has been a stellar employee, I spoke to all my other employees and no one has said that employee B say anything harassing since then or before, employee B has treated everyone kindly and friendly, this incident occurred a year prior, and with that, it wouldn't fall under legal harassment according to harassment laws federally and in the employee handbook.

Even though the behavior and incident are a one-off, I still find it totally inappropriate to discuss politics at work and ask if someone believes in God (!), and employee B should know better than to ask and start this type of discussion. I'm also so angry that employee B made both A and C scared for their lives that they couldn't bring this up until a year later. I must protect them from employee B since B must've intimidated them in some way. I then write employee B up for harassment, even though it doesn’t fit in the legal definition of harassment. My DM said not to fire B, but just tell her the conversation was inappropriate and not write her up. However, my assistant manager said that we should document it because even if your boss tells you to do something, you have to cover yourself, especially with harassment claims.

I then go to employee B, tell her what happened, and she admits to the allegations. B says that she doesn't hate gay people and wants them to have their rights. I Tell her that people are only allowed to talk about politcs is when they're in agreement. I'm so disgusted that I have to work with employee B that I tell all the customers on the sales floor about this employee and that I should've fired her. Then fast forward three weeks later, on Monday, one my sales leads comes up to me and tells me that the day before that employee B told employee A that she can't discuss speculating other people's sexuality and talking about sex acts because that is sexual harassment. Then employee A comes up to me and tells me her concerns that employee B is massively overstepping. Employee B goes to two other sales associates and says on the sales floor that they shouldn't be discussing inappropriate topics on the sale floor, and she says this in front of customers. Everyone came up to me with concerns that they'll be written up for harassment, and I have to say to them that they won't and they have nothing to be afraid about because they haven't done or said anything wrong.

Employee B is seriously overstepping her boundaries by ordering people because she isn't a sales lead and isn't a manager. I'm thinking to myself, do I have to write her up again to stop her from harassing her coworkers? I'm at the end of my rope with this associate. Should I fire her?

Later, my assistant and I spoke to B and asked her why she did what she did. Employee B stated that many employees, including A, have inappropriate workplace conversations that border on sexual harassment. She also wanted to tell everyone that they don't need to be scared of her to tell her when she says something that makes someone uncomfortable, instead of running to us to speak on their behalf.

My assistant and I ask what inappropriate conversations A and other associates have and she says that A speculates about other people's sexuality because she enjoys picking up someone's sexuality "vibes" and has spoken about anal sex on the sales floor. Two other associates, who are half brother and sister, speak about their family and relationship trauma in the fitting room with customers around. One had an abusive boyfriend and told B she was raped on the sales floor and the other associate was friends with that person's abusive boyfriend and was in his room (B says she doesn't recall if the statement was sexual or not and that I would have to go to the associate for clarification). B then also states that she wanted to go to every single employee who did this because the legal definition of harassment means that the behavior has to be unwanted. For the behavior to be unwanted, she wanted to make it clear to them verbally that what they say is not appropriate (because she has learned what she did was wrong and bad) and wanted to educate her peers and sales lead. In addition, she wanted to tell them that if there are any further conversations about those topics she would hear on or off the sales floor to her or in earshot, that she would report them to HR for harassment. B also stated that people aren't mind readers and people must speak up when they're uncomfortable. B also apologized to A for making her uncomfortable.

My assistant and I are then in such shock that these people would say such things. B added that they talk inappropriate topics when the assistant and I are and aren't around, and that's because we're mainly at the register and not in the fitting room. I then tell B that I won't write her up or fire her, but I gave her a strong warning that she shouldn't be overstepping and ordering people around (especially since A is a sales lead) and go to management first, so we can deal with it.

I still want to fire employee B for harassing everyone and creating drama.

[Anonymous]

Seems like you need to do a retraining with everyone about what is professional in the workplace.

I don't see what was said that made other employees scared for their lives.

Overall it just seems like there is a lack of leadership and management and a lack of training.

I am not sure why you are singling out B as it seems no one is really professional and no one keeps their private life or personal opinions out of the workplace.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe I read all that about employees at a retail outlet mall store. I’m frankly all shocked that you have such tenure at such a store.

Also, you are as crazy as your employees. Please don’t fool yourself that you are somehow above it. You obviously love all this ten paragraphs of drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe I read all that about employees at a retail outlet mall store. I’m frankly all shocked that you have such tenure at such a store.

Also, you are as crazy as your employees. Please don’t fool yourself that you are somehow above it. You obviously love all this ten paragraphs of drama.

This. All I could think of is how immature and inept OP sounds.

[Anonymous]

You need to be talking to your other employees that discussions about sex, etc should not be had on the sales floor. Completely inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, could not make it through all the way. But this is being handled terribly.

A and C aren't scared for their lives. They're ganging up on B for whatever reason and they had to go back a whole year to think of anything B said that was slightly inappropriate.

Your manager was correct to tell you to warn B not to have political discussion but not write her up.

It was a terrible idea for you to tell B to only talk about politics when they agree. You should have told her not to bring up politics, sexuality, or religion AT ALL.

It was very unprofessional for you to "tell all the customers on the sales floor about this employee and that I should've fired her." WTF?

B is correct that A shouldn't be speculating on peoples' sexuality at work, although she should come to you with that, instead of lecturing A. Clearly there's issues with these two.

B has a point that they should be worried about getting written up for talking about sexuality when you wrote her up for that. I mean, she's sh!t-stirring obviously, but she has a point.

I stopped reading at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, could not make it through all the way. But this is being handled terribly.

A and C aren't scared for their lives. They're ganging up on B for whatever reason and they had to go back a whole year to think of anything B said that was slightly inappropriate.

Your manager was correct to tell you to warn B not to have political discussion but not write her up.

It was a terrible idea for you to tell B to only talk about politics when they agree. You should have told her not to bring up politics, sexuality, or religion AT ALL.

It was very unprofessional for you to "tell all the customers on the sales floor about this employee and that I should've fired her." WTF?

B is correct that A shouldn't be speculating on peoples' sexuality at work, although she should come to you with that, instead of lecturing A. Clearly there's issues with these two.

B has a point that they should be worried about getting written up for talking about sexuality when you wrote her up for that. I mean, she's sh!t-stirring obviously, but she has a point.

I stopped reading at that point.

When the employees came to me with this, I told them they wouldn't get written up because they haven't done anything.

[Anonymous]

Post a one paragraph summary if you want advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Post a one paragraph summary if you want advice.

Summary: OP is a bad manager

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, could not make it through all the way. But this is being handled terribly.

A and C aren't scared for their lives. They're ganging up on B for whatever reason and they had to go back a whole year to think of anything B said that was slightly inappropriate.

Your manager was correct to tell you to warn B not to have political discussion but not write her up.

It was a terrible idea for you to tell B to only talk about politics when they agree. You should have told her not to bring up politics, sexuality, or religion AT ALL.

It was very unprofessional for you to "tell all the customers on the sales floor about this employee and that I should've fired her." WTF?

B is correct that A shouldn't be speculating on peoples' sexuality at work, although she should come to you with that, instead of lecturing A. Clearly there's issues with these two.

B has a point that they should be worried about getting written up for talking about sexuality when you wrote her up for that. I mean, she's sh!t-stirring obviously, but she has a point.

I stopped reading at that point.

When the employees came to me with this, I told them they wouldn't get written up because they haven't done anything.

Didn't they speculate on others' sexuality and talk about rape in front of customers?

[Anonymous]

Omg it’s retail! Just warn employee that she’s being unprofessional.

Tangential story: when I worked retail in high school, my 35 yo male manager asked me if I wanted a pearl necklace for $30. My reaction because I was 16 and completely naive, “no thanks. $30? they’re not very high quality pearls.” My male coworkers made fun of me until I quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s retail! Just warn employee that she’s being unprofessional.

Tangential story: when I worked retail in high school, my 35 yo male manager asked me if I wanted a pearl necklace for $30. My reaction because I was 16 and completely naive, “no thanks. $30? they’re not very high quality pearls.” My male coworkers made fun of me until I quit.

I'm 40 and I wouldn't understand what that means either lol.

[Anonymous]

He said she said. Seriously love on.

[Anonymous]

Move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a store manager at a retail outlet mall and recently , my assistant store manager came to me that she and who I will call employee A were talking about gay rights. Within that conversation, employee A stated that employee B made her uncomfortable a year prior because employee B made a comment that the idea of same-sex relationships are weird. Also, in that conversation was another person, who I will call employee C. I was shocked and horrified by this revelation and asked my assistant why neither employee A and C came to me right away about this highly inappropriate discussion. My assistant store manager told me that employee B made both employee A and C horribly scared of working with B, even though A and B closed multiple times together, that they're scared for their life and that must've been why they didn't say anything until a year later, employee A had been ruminating about the event since a year ago, and that employee B must've gotten up in their faces and intimidated A and C to not speak up.

Because of my training as a store manager, I’m supposed to take every harassment complaint seriously and investigate the claims because I'm legally required to. If not, me and my assistant manager can be fired from the company for knowing about this incident and not doing anything about it. I talk to my DM because I've never dealt with this before. He yelled at me that me and my assistant manager that we aren't doing our jobs properly because we should've known this conversation took place, and that this shouldn't be happening. I talk to employee A, who confirms the allegations, but she kept telling us that it happened a year ago, that she's over it, and that it's nothing and the assistant manager didn't have her consent to report it.

I then call employee C who gave me more information that employee B asked employee C's views on the political landscape and asked if C believed in God. Unfortunately, neither employee A and C made it known to employee B that the behavior was making them uncomfortable, there was no repeated discussions after this incident, employee B doesn’t have a record of anything and has been a stellar employee, I spoke to all my other employees and no one has said that employee B say anything harassing since then or before, employee B has treated everyone kindly and friendly, this incident occurred a year prior, and with that, it wouldn't fall under legal harassment according to harassment laws federally and in the employee handbook.

Even though the behavior and incident are a one-off, I still find it totally inappropriate to discuss politics at work and ask if someone believes in God (!), and employee B should know better than to ask and start this type of discussion. I'm also so angry that employee B made both A and C scared for their lives that they couldn't bring this up until a year later. I must protect them from employee B since B must've intimidated them in some way. I then write employee B up for harassment, even though it doesn’t fit in the legal definition of harassment. My DM said not to fire B, but just tell her the conversation was inappropriate and not write her up. However, my assistant manager said that we should document it because even if your boss tells you to do something, you have to cover yourself, especially with harassment claims.

I then go to employee B, tell her what happened, and she admits to the allegations. B says that she doesn't hate gay people and wants them to have their rights. I Tell her that people are only allowed to talk about politcs is when they're in agreement. I'm so disgusted that I have to work with employee B that I tell all the customers on the sales floor about this employee and that I should've fired her. Then fast forward three weeks later, on Monday, one my sales leads comes up to me and tells me that the day before that employee B told employee A that she can't discuss speculating other people's sexuality and talking about sex acts because that is sexual harassment. Then employee A comes up to me and tells me her concerns that employee B is massively overstepping. Employee B goes to two other sales associates and says on the sales floor that they shouldn't be discussing inappropriate topics on the sale floor, and she says this in front of customers. Everyone came up to me with concerns that they'll be written up for harassment, and I have to say to them that they won't and they have nothing to be afraid about because they haven't done or said anything wrong.

Employee B is seriously overstepping her boundaries by ordering people because she isn't a sales lead and isn't a manager. I'm thinking to myself, do I have to write her up again to stop her from harassing her coworkers? I'm at the end of my rope with this associate. Should I fire her?

Later, my assistant and I spoke to B and asked her why she did what she did. Employee B stated that many employees, including A, have inappropriate workplace conversations that border on sexual harassment. She also wanted to tell everyone that they don't need to be scared of her to tell her when she says something that makes someone uncomfortable, instead of running to us to speak on their behalf.

My assistant and I ask what inappropriate conversations A and other associates have and she says that A speculates about other people's sexuality because she enjoys picking up someone's sexuality "vibes" and has spoken about anal sex on the sales floor. Two other associates, who are half brother and sister, speak about their family and relationship trauma in the fitting room with customers around. One had an abusive boyfriend and told B she was raped on the sales floor and the other associate was friends with that person's abusive boyfriend and was in his room (B says she doesn't recall if the statement was sexual or not and that I would have to go to the associate for clarification). B then also states that she wanted to go to every single employee who did this because the legal definition of harassment means that the behavior has to be unwanted. For the behavior to be unwanted, she wanted to make it clear to them verbally that what they say is not appropriate (because she has learned what she did was wrong and bad) and wanted to educate her peers and sales lead. In addition, she wanted to tell them that if there are any further conversations about those topics she would hear on or off the sales floor to her or in earshot, that she would report them to HR for harassment. B also stated that people aren't mind readers and people must speak up when they're uncomfortable. B also apologized to A for making her uncomfortable.

My assistant and I are then in such shock that these people would say such things. B added that they talk inappropriate topics when the assistant and I are and aren't around, and that's because we're mainly at the register and not in the fitting room. I then tell B that I won't write her up or fire her, but I gave her a strong warning that she shouldn't be overstepping and ordering people around (especially since A is a sales lead) and go to management first, so we can deal with it.

I still want to fire employee B for harassing everyone and creating drama.

Not ready you dissertation. I’d find a new job if you need help from dcum to manage employees.