Stop calling yourself blessed when what you are is privileged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people’s objective in pointing out privilege nonstop. Why? So you can prove that your misfortune is out of your hands and certain races were destined to not be blessed??

No, so you can point out that some people have it easier in life than others, whether because of wealth or race or sex or the luck of the draw in what kind of bodies they ended up with.

And why does that matter when someone is posting a sentiment of gratitude on social media?

Why does it matter when someone points out privilege?

You are policing people's language on social media. I wasn't aware there was a rule that one must run through all privileges and disadvantages before posting a sentence or two on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a religious person, I’m confident that I am correct to call myself “blessed” in the biblical sense because I have 3 healthy children, a stable and secure place to raise them, my own health, my husband’s health (both of which is required to travel), food on the table, wine to drink, etc. My husband works to provide and does not have a substance abuse problem, which is also a biblical blessing. I also work and use my income to invest, which is also a biblical blessing to him.

Do you know what “because” means?

I am saying that these are explicitly described as blessings in the Bible so that’s my basis for using the word. The biblical sense.

Here is what the bible says about blessings:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the Earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a religious person, I’m confident that I am correct to call myself “blessed” in the biblical sense because I have 3 healthy children, a stable and secure place to raise them, my own health, my husband’s health (both of which is required to travel), food on the table, wine to drink, etc. My husband works to provide and does not have a substance abuse problem, which is also a biblical blessing. I also work and use my income to invest, which is also a biblical blessing to him.

Do you know what “because” means?

I am saying that these are explicitly described as blessings in the Bible so that’s my basis for using the word. The biblical sense.

Here is what the bible says about blessings:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the Earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think blessed means “I don’t deserve this” I don’t deserve any of the good things in my life. But I’m thankful for them and try to share (in many ways). But I try to be thankful in all circumstances. Even when I haven’t been able to pay my bills, didn’t own a house, or go on vacation.

I don't ever see someone on social media saying that they are blessed in those contexts though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people’s objective in pointing out privilege nonstop. Why? So you can prove that your misfortune is out of your hands and certain races were destined to not be blessed??

No, so you can point out that some people have it easier in life than others, whether because of wealth or race or sex or the luck of the draw in what kind of bodies they ended up with.

And why does that matter when someone is posting a sentiment of gratitude on social media?

Why does it matter when someone points out privilege?

You are policing people's language on social media. I wasn't aware there was a rule that one must run through all privileges and disadvantages before posting a sentence or two on social media.

Sounds like you're policing people's language here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when someone says they're blessed, to me, it's the same as saying they're lucky, which they might be.

It's not a personal affront, OP. Whether it's luck, privilege, hard work, or a blessing, it doesn't really matter, because the outcome is the same. Just be happy for them and for their acknowledgement that they have something in life to be grateful for.

DP here. I get what OP is saying. It's the tone deafness. What is implied when you say you are blessed because of your good fortune - that some divine being has smiled upon you, and even if you deny it, there is the logical implication that others who haven't had much good fortune in life are not blessed.

That's all.

I think that’s unfair. IMO, it’s less about what specifically happens to you, and more about a way of describing your philosophical orientation to it. A devout religious person might call a certain event a “blessing” while an atheist who puts great weight on the randomness of life might call the same exact thing “lucky.” I don’t thing it’s accurate to interpret the use of the term “blessed” as implying that God is somehow playing favorites; it’s not comparative but rather an expression of gratitude.

Well, others might not interpret it that way. Can't control others' responses.

Well, words either mean something or they don’t. If they do, a reaction can be unfair or inappropriate. If they don’t, it’s of course “Katy bar the door” and anyone came react to anything however they want, and the fact that I said “I had a good breakfast” is fairly interpreted as a gross statement of privilege. After all, not everybody gets breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Let me posit this: for those of you who preach “personal responsibility” and believe it’s so feasible to pull oneself up by the bootstraps, why are you saving for your kids’ college? Why are you creating a trust fund for them? Why do you live in McLean? If it’s so simple to just work hard and make it no matter where you’re from, why bother with all of that? Can’t your kid just save up money themselves like you tell poor kids to?

[Anonymous]

OP sorry for what is going on in your life.

But I don’t really care about your diatribe. I express myself a certain way. Admittedly it is somewhat cultural, but I am thankful for what gifts I have. Doesn’t mean I haven’t had loss and pain in my life also. I am thankful and feel blessed for many things. Don’t really care that you don’t like that language. Don’t use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sorry for what is going on in your life.

But I don’t really care about your diatribe. I express myself a certain way. Admittedly it is somewhat cultural, but I am thankful for what gifts I have. Doesn’t mean I haven’t had loss and pain in my life also. I am thankful and feel blessed for many things. Don’t really care that you don’t like that language. Don’t use it.

Where has OP talked about something going on in her life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have no understanding of what being Blessed means.

Can you explain it to me? As a parent whose child died after a long and painful illness, when someone tells me they are “blessed” with healthy children, I feel like they think God decides to give their kids the privilege of good health and decided differently for my kid.

As the wife of an Afghanistan veteran who is currently worrying about interpreter friends he left behind who are in fear of their lives, when people say they are blessed to be Americans do they mean God chose those different paths?

I am asking this as a Christian who hates the phrase.

DP. I am sorry for your loss. I have had two children die (as well as my husband) and it is hell. However, I was still blessed by their presences in my life even though their lives ended tragically.

You're lashing out and I think you would be better off taking a step back from social media and even news media for a while until you regain your footing. If you have done grief therapy or any type of therapy before but stopped then you should consider going back in to it.

Hugs.

DP. Leave the PP alone. She is not "lashing out" - she is asking very good questions. Sorry if they make you uncomfortable. And I'm sorry for your losses.

We'll have to agree to disagree. I see a lot of anger in her post and that, to me, says "lashing out." I don't lead groups any more but if I did she would be on my list to make sure we got her in asap.

If you define that innocuous post as lashing out, the people who you would have put on your list are blessed that you no longer lead groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a religious person, I’m confident that I am correct to call myself “blessed” in the biblical sense because I have 3 healthy children, a stable and secure place to raise them, my own health, my husband’s health (both of which is required to travel), food on the table, wine to drink, etc. My husband works to provide and does not have a substance abuse problem, which is also a biblical blessing. I also work and use my income to invest, which is also a biblical blessing to him.

Do you know what “because” means?

I am saying that these are explicitly described as blessings in the Bible so that’s my basis for using the word. The biblical sense.

Here is what the bible says about blessings:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the Earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Was there a line before or after that says this is an exhaustive list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when someone says they're blessed, to me, it's the same as saying they're lucky, which they might be.

It's not a personal affront, OP. Whether it's luck, privilege, hard work, or a blessing, it doesn't really matter, because the outcome is the same. Just be happy for them and for their acknowledgement that they have something in life to be grateful for.

DP here. I get what OP is saying. It's the tone deafness. What is implied when you say you are blessed because of your good fortune - that some divine being has smiled upon you, and even if you deny it, there is the logical implication that others who haven't had much good fortune in life are not blessed.

That's all.

No, your conclusion is not logical.

Saying that you've been blessed doesn't imply that others aren't blessed because they don't have exactly what you have, when you have it. If I say I am blessed to have a house, it doesn't imply that those without houses are not also blessed. There was a time when I didn't have a house either. I spent years saving for a home, then I spent a year looking for a house and put in offers on multiple homes and was outbid again and again, but I still considered myself blessed then in countless ways. Saying that you are blessed is more about a general state of grace and gratitude, not about having everything you want.

So if you are blessed because you have a house, what happens when you lose that house, have your lost your blessing?

No. Reread and try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when someone says they're blessed, to me, it's the same as saying they're lucky, which they might be.

It's not a personal affront, OP. Whether it's luck, privilege, hard work, or a blessing, it doesn't really matter, because the outcome is the same. Just be happy for them and for their acknowledgement that they have something in life to be grateful for.

DP here. I get what OP is saying. It's the tone deafness. What is implied when you say you are blessed because of your good fortune - that some divine being has smiled upon you, and even if you deny it, there is the logical implication that others who haven't had much good fortune in life are not blessed.

That's all.

No, your conclusion is not logical.

Saying that you've been blessed doesn't imply that others aren't blessed because they don't have exactly what you have, when you have it. If I say I am blessed to have a house, it doesn't imply that those without houses are not also blessed. There was a time when I didn't have a house either. I spent years saving for a home, then I spent a year looking for a house and put in offers on multiple homes and was outbid again and again, but I still considered myself blessed then in countless ways. Saying that you are blessed is more about a general state of grace and gratitude, not about having everything you want.

So if you are blessed because you have a house, what happens when you lose that house, have your lost your blessing?

No. Reread and try again.

^Also, since this is about semantics and phrasing, I did not say I was blessed because I have a house. I said I was blessed to have a house; having a house is not the reason I am blessed. I am blessed because of God's grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me posit this: for those of you who preach “personal responsibility” and believe it’s so feasible to pull oneself up by the bootstraps, why are you saving for your kids’ college? Why are you creating a trust fund for them? Why do you live in McLean? If it’s so simple to just work hard and make it no matter where you’re from, why bother with all of that? Can’t your kid just save up money themselves like you tell poor kids to?

Because poor kids who study and get good grades get their tuition paid for through a combination of taxpayer dollars and subsidies from college endowments. If there is a shortfall, they take out loans, just like most of us who are saving did. And then Elizabeth Warren will probably try to pay off those loans for them. UMC kids don't receive these freebies, so their parents have to save as well as pay the taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redlining. Food deserts. Segregation.

Educate yourself.

Haven’t existed in most of our life times; WIC, SNAP, school lunches, food pantries; people choosing to live in affordable housing in an expensive area or as part of an immigrant community with shared language or with long-standing community (see gentrification arguments).

None of these things are determinative of your life. Ask the millions of people now living who have moved up the SES ladder. If you want to improve social mobility, vote for and insist on functional government that provides law and order and schools with real expectations and discipline. Include vocational education. Eliminating objective measures of educational achievement and lowering overall behavioral expectations for kids, while also eliminating the negatives of poverty will leave the people you say you care about in a terrible way that has nothing to do with racism.

Even the poorest US citizens are “blessed.”

Can you explain why? I'm not necessarily disagreeing, but the nationalism in your response is intriguing. You seem to identify a number of things people should be advocating for HERE, so they don't exist uniformly? And what does this country have that is unique to us?

Yes, I can explain why. Even the poorest here are wealthy in comparison to many places around the world. They enjoy larger homes, appliances, cell phones, more than adequate calories, free public education, world class medical care paid for by the government. Now, are there a few individuals who do NOT receive these things? Yes, there are poor people who do not seek out the free prenatal care, or who use the ER for sporadic and uncoordinated care. There are mentally ill people who live on the streets despite the existence of shelters, SSI checks and mental health programs created for vets and the homeless. There are illegal immigrants who do not qualify for some of the programs (but whose children still receive three free meals a day from the schools). And there are kids for whom the schools fail to provide them with an excellent education (which is why I made that a major discussion point above.). There are people who live in violence plagued cities and impoverished coal country. These are dysfunctional places, but even those people have the freedom to move somewhere else. And yes, it takes some money to move, but not much.

U.S. citizens mostly still have free speech, freedom to assemble, freedom to seek redress against the government, property rights, a right to due process and a mostly fair legal system. These things are extremely valuable and not available to billions of people in the world.

I did not mention anything about other countries. Are some people blessed to be born in Sweden or Germany? Yes. There was nothing "nationalistic" about my response. It is factual.